New Life - Down 126 Pounds

I may mentioned it already, but I have left my husband while in rehab a couple months ago and filed for separation.  I now have my own apartment, phone, cable, etc.

My 23 year old son, who lives with my husband and lived with us both and has never left the house along with his 30 year old girlfriend has never been on his own.  He lives there free of charge and never paid a dime all his life.  He got furious with me and has ruined or burnt over half my belongings.  Even baby books from both he and his brother.  This includes my laptop, which was 9 month old. 

While in rehab he was calling there and calling me foul names, even the C word.  His girlfriend was calling the nurses station, high on drugs, and saying she had bad information about me.  They would tell her they couldn't confirm or deny my being there, because I had to rescind all consent forms so none of them could contact me.

When I went there to get what belongings I had left he laid in my solid oak bed on my pillow-top mattress in my master bedroom, which they have now taken over, and swore at me and said to get out or he was calling the cops.

Admittedly by this time I had had enough and called him and MFing punk.  Only I said the words.  He just swore more and called me foul names again.  He an opiate addict, his girlfriend is a benzo addict, and my husband is an alcoholic pot smoker.  You could see why I can't go back, ever.

The house was filthy and there was hardly a place to walk there was so much of her crap laying around.  Laundry baskets over heaping with clothes, dirty dishes, and the toilet was disgusting.  The yard looked like something out of deliverance.  In the back yard was her dining room chairs and seats none of which had cushions.  There was the back seat of her broken van by the fire pit  well as numerous chairs.

I asked my husband why he let them take over the house like that and why didn't he get his own place.  He said he had to take care of my son and that he had nowhere else to go.  I call bull****

My son makes $15 an hour and gets overtime every week she gets $1,200 a month in disability payments a month.  They certainly take care of themselves.

My apartment is spotless and quiet with no drama and no addict son taking my debit card and draining my checking account.  I've also lost a total of 126 pounds and couldn't be happier. 

Yay for me, I finally stood up for myself and am no longer afraid my son was going to strike me at any time for not giving him money for drugs.  I couldn't afford his habit.

Just had to share the good news.

Have a great day everyone and happy losing.

Kelly

 

 

Sounds great! Make the best of this new start. You can do it. (((hugs)))

--gina

I'm glad to see a post from you about things improving, and getting those losers out of your life is a clear improvement.

I've been following your posts, and have been very concerned. You deserve better than the BS you've been living, and I hope you continue this direction and stay plugged into the help and support system to help you stay on this positive path.

Best of luck on your new path!

Best of luck to you!

Thanks for the well wishes, everyone.

Kelly

Well done. 

How are you managing your eating issues?  You've had quiet a few of us worried sick about you hon.

Hi, Kirmy and all.

I'm still in an active eating disorder, eating as little as possible or just skipping whole days altogether.  While in the hospital I was having blood draws four times a week, but now that I've been home for two weeks not once. While having the NG tube my labs were acceptable.

My ED therapist visit and evaluation isn't until 10-11 and, frankly, I keep having to talk myself out of not going.  I can come up with a million reasons I shouldn't go.  So far I've chastised myself into keeping the appointment since it is such a long wait to get in to see her.  I'm afraid at this point to give up my ED.  I have an extreme fear of gaining weight and not ever seeing my goal of 100 pounds, which would give me a BMI of 19.5.

I've had an ED since childhood which I've always practiced in some form or other be it compulsive overeating or starvation.  I feel I have no control over anything anymore since I quit drugs and alcohol.  Just a ball of neuroses I guess.

Thank you, so much, for your concern and caring.  I'll be okay.

Kelly

Forgot to mention I got a real ass chewing by the ED psychiatrist while in the hospital for not mentioning my ED to my bariatric surgeon.  I tried to tell him I didn't realize I had one at the time, but he was hearing none of it.  Must have went on for five minutes.  Geesh!

 

Honey 19.5 BMI is pretty pitiful. That is a sack of bones and then some. What happens when you hit 19 BMI?  You're going to aim for an 18 BMI and then a 17 BMI etc etc.

Look I'm not going to finger wag because you sound so entrenched in your eating disorder that you'll not hear me but honey....snap the **** out of it! You need to make this appointment. You life depends on it. Maybe not today or next month but a year from now I shudder to think the physical state you'll be in.

Underweight is classed as a BMI under 19.5.  The fact that you want to get to the outer limit tells me you're aiming for under that by some margin. Kelly YOU NEED PROFESSIONAL HELP.

I want to hug the living **** out of you and then give you an upper cut.  You had better start working on this **** girl or I'm coming to dust you up.

Sending love. x

I know I'm thin now but have so much fear.  My ex saw me and said I look like **** that I'm too skinny and look like a "wafer" from the side, not to lose any more weight, and of course, to eat.  My youngest saw me and said nothing.  He wouldn't care anyway.  Someone from rehab visited me and said I look like **** too.  I do have circles and bags under my eyes. 

I've dropped 23 pounds since July 9th, but I still feel I'm not going to get malnourished again, because I'm at least eating something every day. 

I've been told I will shoot for a lower BMI no matter if I do reach a 19.5.  I'm thinking I'll be able to maintain my weight there and don't understand why everyone is getting so upset over this, that I know what I'm doing.  Sometimes I even feel I don't have an ED and the PDOC who evaluated me was way off the mark.

I'm going to keep the appointment even though I'm scared of going.  I'm going to drive that hour one way.  I keep telling myself I'm going to get lost getting there so I'd better not go, which is just plain silly.  I have GPS and will have Google instructions with me.

Hopefully she is nice and I like her, because she is supposed to be one of the best ED therapists around.

I may need that dust up and a really hard punch right in the snout.

Kelly