Finallly decided to go through with the DS

So I talked to a surgeon about a month ago and he suggested the DS. After talking to friends and family I was very unsure as to if I wanted to go through with it or not. Well now I have decided to pursue my decision. Mainly because I need to lose weight to live a healthy life. Yes I know I will have to take supplements for the rest of my life and I know I am very young. But, I have decided that in order to live past the age of 25 and to hopefully get rid of my diabetes and be healthier all together then I need to have this surgery. I think my friends and family were against it because they have never really heard of anyone having WLS that haven't had complications but then again the people they heard of having it only had the RNY and it was years ago when doctors had just started really doing WLS. With  that being said I kind of think (and this might sound stupid) but I kind of think that unlike my family who I believe are just worried because they care and don't want anything to happen to me. I believe my friends are slightly jealous especially the ones who are overweight or they think I am taking the easy way out. I think even my skinnier friends are somewhat jealous because if they don't have the "fat funny friend" anymore I might actually be competition if we go out somewhere. I have always been the bigger girl, the oh youre super cool but Im not looking for a girlfriend kind of girl, the oh I said I didn't want a girlfriend but she just kind of fell in my life but it is nothing against you personally kind of girl, the you'd be so pretty if you was smaller girl. I am frankly very tired of being the girl who could be your best friend but not the girl he can take home for the holidays... So with that being said I have decided to go through with the DS not for ANYONE else but FOR ME. I want to be confident and happy and overall HEALTHY. I think I should take my friends or family to a seminar and/or a support group so they can get a better understanding. Sorry just needed to vent lol. Oh and one more thing I am unsure of what to ask my surgeon on my next visit. I actually go for my psych evaluation when I go to see the surgeon next time. I also lost 5 lbs lol yay.

Good luck to you.

One thing to know, this is not the easy way out.  It is a tool to use.  Never forget that!!!

I've spent more $ on this surgery (and after) than when I lost weight with a trainer everyday in the 90's.  Had I had it all to do over again, I'd go on Medifast and get a trainer. 

Then again, I've been hospitalized twice since my surgery.  I've had 3 good days is all in 8.5 weeks.

It is not an easy road, and you still have to excercise. 

Being Real!

Butterflyhope, you have every right to "be real".  Not to take away from the validity of what your DS experiences has been thus far, just want to say that you ARE only 8.5 weeks out.  Don't know your age or how long you were obese before making the decision to have the DS, but as a matter of perspective, try to keep in mind that your results and long term benefits just probably aren't going to show up in the first 60 post-op days.  Almost all DSers who had a rought start (many much roughter than yours) end up saying that they would do it all over again.  Hopefully you can be counted amongst them.  Really sorry your early DS life has been rough, but keep your chin up. Give it time, don't give up, things will surely get better.

You are so sweet!  Yes, I'm a newbie.  I'm down 65lbs as of today.  Yeah!  You vets are inspiring for me.  I only wish I would have found this board sooner.  It truly makes a difference in this journey!

I've fought weight my whole life.  I'm on the downside to 50 (LOL!)  At 50, life begins again, it has for many a friend.  I did the personal trainer in the 90's to lose weight, kept it off for 9 years (had 13 plastics to remove skin and lipo for certain spots) then had an accident and broke an ankle all in the same year.  I've put back on half of the weight I lost since '07.  It was super glued on me or at least that's how I felt.  Hence, doing the WLS.  My insurance would only pay for one in a lifetime so I did this. 

It's been the roughest journey of my life.  I know there are those that had it rougher than me!

Thank you for the encouragement!  I appreciate it more than you know!!!

 

I will also say that anybody who has the DS (in particular) and is compliant with eating, vitamins and maintaining good labs will know there is nothing easy about it.

A lot of people have very strong feelings about WLS. Much of it is fear---not just about the actual procedure or life altering effect it has but also fear of failure. People who love us want us successful. They want us to not feel pain or hurt. WLS has some pretty horrible statistics that people connect with pain and failure. If you "fail" at WLS then you will feel pain and hurt and our friends and family don't want that. They erroneously think that not having surgery is easier than trying to make a life.

Friends are a different story, especially your peers. I once had a male tell me that if I lost weight he wasn't sure he could be friends with me. Wha? Apparently if I was thin I could no longer be in the category he'd placed me in and suddenly I'd be A GIRL.

Your surgery is going to bring a lot of changes, the biggest may be is losing your friends if they can't support your efforts. "Friends" can be very good at sabotage if your efforts are outshining theirs.

Anyway, you are the master of your destiny. Take the wheel and steer!

Tali,

you are very wise!

Well thought out, well explained.  You go girl!

 I would do it all again , but the only change would be to do it sooner, to have more happy thin years.

Here's something you need to remember, and to remind your friends and family about---it's the people who have problems that you heard about. People who have WLS and have no complications just don't make a fuss about it. For every person who hear talking about their problems, there are probably at least a dozen who've had no problems at all.

You've made a very wise decision when you say you're doing this for yourself and not for anyone else. That's exactly the way it should be.

Aliciaxcore,
I love this post.  Not that I like what you've been through but to see that you understand the impact this surgery can have on your life and that you can take your health into your own hands.  Kudos to losing 5 so far.  That's awesome!

I'm not a vet to DS but I am a vet to losing weight.  I lost 113 pounds with diet and exercise and kept it off for a couple of years in my late 20s.  Then like so many others, I gained it back.  I'm actually sleeved and looking to revise that and convert to a full DS.  So I can't give you any advice on the DS life.  But I can tell you that I completely understand what you've gone through as far as how others view you.  The world isn't always a nice place for chubby people, or fluffy girls or those of us with more to love.   I'm about 10 years your senior (35 yrs old) and still experience the exact same things you mentioned.  We are the most awesome chicks most guys know and the best fat friend a gal can have.  While that's great, there is a sad truth behind all of that and it's exactly what you said - jealous, don't want to lose the fat friend, etc.  Now, that doesn't mean that your true friends won't stick with you.  They will and they will be happy to have you along side them for more healthy activities - do a 10k together, sign up for charity walk**** the gym.  You will find a niche with your friends that doesn't include being the biggest girl in the room.  At some point you will probably be challenging them physically, which is a great feeling!

Now, here's my advice as a single gal...not that you asked for it, and it's probably TMI.  Ha!  Anyway, never settle.  Once you start losing weight you will get attention you're probably not expecting.  Don't let that overwhelm you.  Stick to focusing on your health.  This is about you and becoming your best before letting someone else into your life.  Also, for goodness sakes, don't get preggers.  Again, sorry, TMI.

Anywho, I just wanted to let you know that what you're thinking and feeling, no matter how stupid you think it sounds, is absolutely valid.  For the most part, the world is not fat-girl friendly.  I don't know how many times my mom has said, "Why aren't you losing weight?" or "When do you think this will start to work?"  Although it crushes me every time, it's not meant that way.  Our families just want what's best and for us to be happy with ourselves.  This is your chance to make that happen and they will see it. 

Good luck!  Oh, and I'll find the post with my gazillion questions for the surgeon in it and post that in this thread.  A lot of them won't apply to you because you're not a revision but some of them might help give you ideas about what to ask.