Got lectured this weekend...

Thanks everybody.  I was really starting to get really depressed there for awhile, thinking I was COMPLETELY screwing this up.  Now I feel a little better knowing I'm just screwing up alot, not completely. 

New year, new goals.  I got this!

Thanks everybody!

 The DS can be pretty forgiving but it's best to not need to ask for forgiveness. ;)  I wrote a post on my profile here about being on auto-pilot. It's easy to get to that point when you aren't feeling like eating. I've gone through periods like that where I just don't feel like eating so I would eat what sounded good and just didn't get enough food at all. 

It's just so frustrating sometimes. 

Society *seems* to generally see overweight people as gluttons who just can't put the fork down.  For years, it's been drilled into my head that I wouldn't be this way if I just didn't eat so much.  Now, I can't eat enough.  And when I do eat and other people are around, I feel scrutinized for every single bite.  Yeah, I ordered the carnitas.  But did they notice I didn't get any rice with it? Or that I had 4 bites and boxed the rest?  Nope.  Carnitas are pork (and even tho they don't look fried, apparently are fried in lard?  I need to verify this) and pork is bad for you.  *sigh*

There are lots of things I'm finding I wasn't prepared for like I thought I was before this procedure.  It's daunting sometimes.  Most the time.  I have soooo many people who have been so supportive and I feel like I'm letting them down (even tho 30 pounds and 2 pants sizes is nothing to sneeze at).

I have my first support group meeting this week.  I'm hoping that will help with some of my concerns/freakouts.

 I still struggle eating in front of others--particularly if they know I've had surgery. I can eat a lot at times and others just barely enough food to stop people from thinking something is wrong with it.

If I'm going to be eating out with others and uncertain of what food options will be present, I'll have a protein shake or some cheese before I leave home. It helps to take the edge off so I can order with clarity.

You can also ask to split food with others. I will do that with close friends. 

I get scrutinized now because I eat so little and they think I'm starving. You will realize you cannot win for losing at times. 

I've had the staff at Five Guys push food on me because they thought my meal wasn't enough. Really? Do I look like I need more food? Three times the cashier asked if that was enough, was I sure I didn't need more? The server refused to hand it over initially until I'd confirmed multiple times that really was all I needed to eat and the lobby person kept trying to shove a drink and peanuts at me. Yeesh.

I've become utterly selfish though. My only goal is to take care of my needs. If I need food I let everybody know in no uncertain terms I NEED FOOD NOW. They either respect it or get out of my way while I find it. They don't have to like what I eat, they can comment all they want, but until their ass is in my shoes (or pants ;)) they have no say in what I do. Because in the end, most of them are overweight and I'm not. 

It was actually very cool at brunch yesterday...I ate so little that they refused to charge me. 

Yes, yes YESSSS, TaliTali !

Do not drink alcohol. Your liver is working hard enough.

Other than that, peel off some of the bread to the chicken and you are fine. Perhaps you should not complain about your weight loss speed to your friend anymore.

I lost 202 pounds and I did not have pasta, rice, or potatoesfor the first 10 months. I would have some bread when I went out to eat but never brought it into my house. It was hard at first but the weight loss motivated me to continue.  I hope you have a pleasant experience as mine was.

I'm sorry that you're experiencing challenges with your friend. Some relationships include a level of 'give and take' - when it comes to giving advice. However, sometime it is a one-way street.
Either way, it may be a good time to evaluate the manner in which you speak with each other. Perhaps you could 'gently' explain how it makes you feel, when she watches over you so closely. You can let her know that you value the relationship and don't want to have her to have the pressure of or the responsibility for your health (that is you'd prefer to enjoy her company without her feeling pressured).

On the other hand, maybe she is noticing something that you haven't. It is best to give the comments some consideration because even if it is hurtful, there could be truth to it. Although, you can still request that she back off.

Finally, it doesn't seem right that you would have stopped losing weight after 3 weeks. To have a stoppage so soon, or a stall that long doesn't seem possible under normal cir****tances. I would encourage you to see your PCP, the surgeon, a nutritionist - someone, who can evaluate your situation and assist you in develop a plan to maximize your post op results.

Best Wishes.

Hi

Just passing through and adding my 2 cents!!!  We all were scared in the begining and we all thought it wouldn't work for us!!!  Trust me I am 3 years out and am loving the DS life.  And yes sweetie eat your damn chicken strip!!   If I were to tell you how many donuts I have had in the past 3 years some of these people would probably shoot me!! It happens!! Get over it!! I had freak outs galore!! Kids were crazy!! My mom was diagnosed with cancer!  And dammit I ate my donuts!!  But when I was done with the freak outs I exercised, I walked, I cried,  I am looking great!!  I am human!!  I guess that is why the DS was chosen for me!!  Best of luck


Amanda

I have new pics but for some reason this site is giving me an error message.  Check me out on Facebook. My name is Amanda Sears.   Best of luck!!

Tally your total calories.  I suspect you are not eating enough calories in a day.  Your "friend" does not understand the DS, is my suspicion.  Did she have the DS too?  If not, come here for your support and advice, and cut those people off. 

At 9 weeks out, I wasn't even CONSIDERING alcohol.  I have only just now, at 3 years out, started drinking an occasional drink on the weekends.  There's a reason it feels like rubbing alcohol on an open wound.  Because that's what it is. 

Chicken strips were also not on my menu 9 weeks out.  Wendy's Chili maybe.  But nothing any more dense than that. 

And if you're GAINING this early out, I'd be really scared of my water intake.  I bet you're not drinking enough water and your kidneys are suffering.  Do you carry your thermos of iced whatever everywhere with you?  I still do that today.  At 3 years out.

Get serious, girlfriend.