Feeding Tube Due To Sever Eating Disorder

Hello everyon:

I haven't updated in a few weeks because my ED got so out of hand my PDOC sent me to the inpatient ED unit at the hospital.

I got there on a Thursday and had a feeding tube inserted up my nose and into my stomach.  For the next 12 days I had nutrition pumping into my guts.  At the end I was eating the full meal plan they had for me.  I was there for a total of 15 days.

The unit was very strict with them unlocking the bathroom door that we all shared and then looking in the toilet before we could flush.  There were three meals and three snacks a day that we had to eat.  At first I just couldn't do it I was so afraid I'd gain weight.  At snack time we had to go the cupboard and pick out our own snack.  This was so stressful I would start shaking and be unable to pick something out.

I'm down to 121 and intend to get down to 100 pounds.  I know this isn't good for me, but I can't stop.  I'm so afraid of gaining any weight that I just can't eat anything but plain Greek yogurt, cottage cheese, and bananas.  I keep my calories under 300 a day and write down every thing that goes into my mouth.

I have appointments with and ED specialist, and AODA counselor, my PDOC, and a nutritionist that deals with EDs.  I hope all this helps.  The Doc at the hospital wanted me to go residental, but my insurance did cover that. 

Wish me luck in getting into recover for the ED.  I worked so hard on the drugs and alcohol and I don't need this obsession.

Love ya all,

Kelly

 

You can kick this thing. You are tougher than you think.  I'm keeping you in my thoughts. Thank you for keeping us posted.  

--gina
 

Wishing you the best of luck!

I am sorry you are facing such trials, Kelly.  I am sending good vibes your way.

Wow.  Don't know your history or why you were given the DS, but hope you don't die.  Good luck.

I read your post and stopped to say a prayer.  

I wish I could hold your hands or give you a hug.  You are fighting a tough battle now.  I think you will be able to beat this -- just like you said you've beaten other things.  Hang in there and let us know when you need something from us.  Some of us are pretty good at nagging, if that is what is needed.  If you need love and hugs and encouragement, you are at the right place.

Love to you

Amy 

Kelly,
I'll pray for you as well.  It's tough to battle your demons but it's worth it.  Embrace a new reality that recovery needs to be your first priority.  I wish you the best.  You can overcome this.  Apply the same successful strategies you used for drugs and alcohol. 

 Hugs, prayers and well-wishes going out to you, Kelly

 I'm thinking of you, Kelly, and I pray that you find peace, strength, and good health! 

 You have reached out many times before with your other addictions, and I am so relieved that you are getting help for this one as well.   I hope that you can change your mindset and your intentions of getting down to 100 pounds.  You're going to end up destroying yourself if you don't.     I sure wish your insurance covered residential treatment.    Are you able to reach out to other resources for it, such as Medicaid?    Good luck- wishing you the best possible outcome in this very tragic situation.