Thank you...

I'm still doing pretty crappy--and I KNOW I should have expected this.  But I want to just send a quick THANK YOU so much for the kind, warm, and reassuring comments to my posting yesterday.  It all made me feel so good inside.  Now, I need to get the rest of me feeling better.  I'm moving, I'm drinking water and apple juice ALL DAY, I'm taking Prilosec now (started today) twice a day, and I'm keeping 8 mg of Zofran in me every 4 hours (which I'm told is quite a lot).  I have a general feeling of like having the flu.  Like I shake every so often (the doc thinks this might be blood sugar but says that if it continues too much he wants to rule out infection)--not necessarily cold just uncomfortable, I feel bloated sometimes in my tummy (not intestines), and I get that nauseus yucky feeling.  I just want to lay in bed and cry but in between cat naps and crying and sipping every few minutes I get up to walk for a good 10-15 minutes around my in-laws' HUGE house where I'm staying to recover.

What I found today is that my sense of smell got funny.  I can't smell ANYTHING now--just some funky chemical floral scent that must come from my brain chemestry.  It's very annoying and makes things worse.  I did however smell the broth i tried drinking earlier and found that i can't tollerate the smell.  Other than that, I have a funky chemical smell.  

I cry A LOT.  It's hard seeing the light at the end of the tunnel.  I think to myself, will it really get better? Will I ever be normal again? When can I start being a mom again to my babies who so badly want me back and who I YEARN to be with?  But I know it'll come in time (logically).  However, right now, I'm not logical. I'm emotional.  

I do wonder when I'll ever be able to actually stomach food again.  I can swallow about 2 Tbs of apple sauce twice a day but that's it.  And it's so hard to do so.  I feel like a freak and I feel like i really burdened my family and my daughters (though no one has made me feel this way--they've been wonderful).  I wish i knew when I'd feel normal. 

Thank you for letting me rant.  This is as close to a diary as I have and the people here are the only ones I know who can understand what this is like (and I'm only 6 days out!).  

The surgeon is sending me to get labs tomorrow just to make sure all looks ok.  and he's on the phone with me a lot and keeps saying that if it gets bad enough the discomfort, etc.) just come on back to the hospital.  The drive really wore me out (2 hours) but I appreciate his concern.  

Again, thanks for listening and for writing all of the kind responses yesterday.
S 

Sheri,
I could have easily posted these same words last year as a new post op. It will get better. We are all living testaments to that.

Sending you lots of cyber {{{HUGS}}}

 Thanks Gail.

Hi Hun, Im sorry you are having such a tough go of it:( I drank G2 during my first week of recovery. I has 7g of sugar and carbs in a 12 oz bottle but i figure if you are drink apple juice you are getting all that in that drink also. And it has electrolytes that made me feel a little better.

Sounds like you are doing the best that you can right now. Dont worry it will get better. You just frankensteined your insides:)!!!

Sending good healing vibes your way!

 Maybe I should alternate between gatorade, water, and apple juice.  I'm only drinking it because it was specifically mentioned to me by the surg. and it actually goes down well. (COLD)

Thanks for the good vibes.  

I used the berry flavor. Its clear. With all of your smell/taste stuff i know its hard:(

 ((HUGS)))

 You sound just like I did at this point. I had so much buyers remourse, it wasn't even funny. 

Tomorrow will be 4 weeks and I feel great. I can eat a good bit more than I could even a week ago.

When they say it gets better, believe me, it does.

My husband and I also got the chills like you described (we had the DS together) and our doc said it was perfectly normal & that our bodies we're adjusting to the shock.

I was exactly this for three weeks post op....i was nauseated constantly, unrelenting....id dry heave and throw up some, but it was horrible. I couldn't hardly put anything (including water) in my mouth without wanting to vomit.

It was horrible. I so understand. I literally was in hell. The nexium helped me a lot and I was on Zofran around the clock as well....it just took the edge off.

I'm so sorry you are there! I wouldn't wish that on anyone. I can say it does get better. I am six weeks out and since about 4 weeks out I only had nausea occasionally and now hardly at all, maybe once a week if I don't eat something regularly (every two hours)...

I hope you feel better soon!

Sher, honey, let's look at all the things that are good.

Walking -- very good
Sipping --very good
Resting -- good, I think?
Eating -- little bites, that's okay
Prilosec and Zofran -- good

Now the crying is not so hot.  I don't think I cried, but then that's just me.  I'm sure I felt like crying at times. Realize that you are just missing doing your regular "mommy" things.  BUT what you have done to better your health in long run is a huge (actually immeasurable) gift to your daughters. You're being a great mom right now!

Side note: If you do need to drive back to see the surgeon the trip will be much easier 'cause you'll be a week or more out.  (I had a 3 hr drive, so I know what you went through. )

hugs, Jenny

Sher,

I haven't had my DS yet, so I have no words of wisdom. All I can say is that I care a lot that you are going through such an emotional time, and are feeling so sad. I understand how you must be feeling, because I have problems with my emotions going totally out of whack from time to time. I know how badly it hurts!

No, you aren't going crazy, and yes, everything seems like DOOM when your emotions get out of balance like yours have been. Emotions are actually part of our body. They are ruled by a part of your brain that can get out of balance. Logic that you are actually doing quite well can seem totally wrong when everything is so darn SAD and BAD and

But HANG IN THERE! Your children will be fine for now, until your systems even out and your emotions get back to normal. Your body has been through a big shock. This is not a small operation, even if you do have only a few little holes on your body.

In spite of your emotional system telling you otherwise, you are doing quite well. You are sipping and walking and those are the biggest things to worry about now. You know that in your head. Just hang on to that knowledge, and you will get through this.

A lot of people have posted about their sense of smell changing after the operation. They all seem to have said that it settled down later. It must be a really wierd experience, though!

I appreciate your posting frequently, because it lets me know what I may be in for as I start my wild ride to health this week. I understand I can never know exactly how it will feel until I go through it, but forewarned is forearmed.

Thank-You,
~Lisa