3 days to go, and getting uptight...

My time is coming, and I feel like there is a big weight on me. It is hard to concentrate on anything for very long. I find myself staring into space and wondering what the surgery and my recovery will be like. I have a pretty good idea of what a great recovery versus a terrible recovery look like, from hanging out on this board. It could be any of the above, or anything in between. It's pointless to think about it because it will come in its own time, yet I keep catching myself thinking about it.

I know this is normal, and blah blah blah. I'm remembering to breathe. I don't even know why I am posting this, because after all, what else would you expect me to be like at this point?

It's just that nobody around here has any idea what I will be going through, and you guys do

~Lisa

I can relate Lisa,

I am 8 days away from heading to Canada (Dr Gagner) for my surgery. I am anxious excited and emotional all at the same time some days... My husband has been great throughout it so I have some good support which is nice. However, you are right to come on here for support and to hear the voices of those people who have been through/going through similar feelings to you.You are being resourceful and open what a good start to this journey, I have seen how supportive of others you are with your words, so now it is your time.

Someone once offered me these words and I offer them now to you.... hope they help...

,,,,,and the day will come when the pain of staying the same will outweigh the fear of changing.

Sara

Thanks a lot, Sara. That quote is exactly how I feel.

~Lisa

I, too, was pretty worried...but on surgery day I was nearly skipping with anticipation and happiness. I was so READY. Recovery was nothing compared to what my life and health was going to me without the DS.
It was weird that everyone who knew, seemed to perceive what I was going into as nothing to be very concerned about. I waited for my daughter to call from college before going to bed the night before surgery. I finally phoned her and told her that I had hoped she would have called to say good bye to me. (Freudian slip!) I meant good luck. She had some lame apology and wished me luck.  Kids think their parents are indestructible and strong, I guess. My young adult sons were pretty clueless as well. I think I must have played it down for their sakes.
You are going to do fine We know it isn't easy, but it is sooo worth it!

Thanks, Gail,

I will probably be the same way on surgery day, LOL! I am the type to be nervous before hand, and then to be ready for an adventure when big things come. You know exactly how I feel, about nobody understanding what I am going through.

Funny, I was feeling sorry for myself when I wrote this. I was forgetting that my completely non-sentimental husband fell asleep holding my wedding picture the other day - and even admitted it to me on the phone! So, the most important person understands. He is going through it too. I was thinking more about the people here at the nursing home, and the rest of my family (including adult children) when I wrote that.

Thanks for your words of support. I do know I will be fine. It is just hard right now, waiting :-)

~Lisa

hi lisa - congratulations on making the decision to change your life!  looking so forward to reading about your many wow's and accomplishment in the coming months.  this is a very exciting, awesome, scary, fearful time.  guess that's why they say to hang on, cuz it's going to be a wild ride.
i too did not tell people that i was having the surgery.  one bff and hubs were the only two who knew. my saving grace was my oh family and i was totally addicted to reading the boards for hours a day.
morning of my surgery while in the prep room, i got a case of the jitters real bad.  at one point, i  just about  walked out of the hospital.  i almost convinced myself to, once again, try dieting to loose the weight.  then i was remembered something my surgeon said at a support meeting.  "if you could have lost the weight by dieting, you wouldn't be sitting here today." 
you'll be fine.  let me welcome you to the dark side.  hang on for a wild ride. 

 Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers wrote a song called "The Waiting is the Hardest Part.". Carly Simon sings "Anticipation is Making me Wait.".   I still believe that the time before the surgery is the most difficult part. The rest, you should be well prepared for by being on this forum!  Best wishes!

Thanks, Noreen and FullHouseMom!

I am feeling a lot better this morning. I was waiting for Church to start, and I was absent-mindedly looking at a woman with her baby, who was about 6 months old. Suddenly, I was strongly impressed with the thought, "What are you worried about?? You have had 3 babies!!"

I instantly felt better, and have been taking everything in stride ever since

~Lisa