Coping with personal tragedy post-op

trxxyy
on 12/5/11 3:50 pm - Orange County, CA
I lost my father very unexpectedly on Friday evening.  I was very close to my father and to say the least I am heartbroken and devestated.  I told my husband and family that the most important thing they can do for me at this time is to make sure I take my vits and get my protein in.  I have no desire to eat but am forcing myself but I was hoping you all could provide any other suggestions to help until I deal with this a little better.  Right now I am I drinking 2 double protein shakes a day and if I do eat I am allowing more carbs then I normally would with chips and breading on fried food. 

If any of you can offer any additional advice or suggestions I would really appreciate it. 

-shelly
LovableLynn
on 12/5/11 4:08 pm - Qatar
I am sorry to hear of your loss. I know words alone cannot offer the support you need during this time, but please know we keep you in our prayers.

God Bless!

           
HW 175 KG (385 lbs) - then banded in 2008 - DS journey HW 146 KG (322 lbs)

CW 81 KG (179 lbs) - GW 79.5 KG (175 lbs)
 

beth-28
on 12/5/11 5:24 pm
Shelly,

My condolences on your loss.

Beth
When push comes to shove....shove hard!

       

Never regret anything, because at one time it was exactly what you wanted.

MajorMom
on 12/5/11 6:03 pm - VA
I'm so sorry, (((Shelly))).
:(

--gina

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Its a Secret
on 12/5/11 8:21 pm, edited 2/9/12 8:18 pm
IComment pulled because OH refuses to respect members privacy and moderates unfairly.
                
honeybadger 11
on 12/5/11 8:27 pm - FL
You should be proud of yourself the in the moment of extreme loss and sadness you've not lost your self worth. You understand that while you grieve heavily you cant forget what is absolutely necessary to keep yourself going.

I'm sure your dad was with you thru thick and thin on your roll coaster of WL and the DS and is very proud that you are not sabotaging yourself while you deal with this tragedy. He is looking down upon you so just think that everything you time you take your  vites or drink a protein shake or even eat a few bites of food you are making your dad happy.

Take care of yourself for you and in honor of your dad.

I dont think when a person losses a parent they ever truly get over it. Think of all the good times together and keep those memories close to your heart. All you can do is take it a day at a time. (((HUGS)))

~Jennifer
Revision to DS 11/9/11                                  LapBand 12/2006
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(deactivated member)
on 12/5/11 10:48 pm
(((Shelly)))) I'm so sorry for your loss. Honey and Hoosier said what I was going to say, but better.

There's no right way to grieve. You'll cry at odd times triggered by the weirdest memories. Focusing on the "next right thing in front of you" aka one day at a time is best.  No matter how or when you grieve, it's normal.

My only aunt died this past Sept 1 after 6 months of agony. I lost nothing during this time, but was in therapy (still am).  I forced the vits, but was probably not as good at getting protein in-therapy helped to remind me to take care of my needs during the stress. Labs look good. Getting protein and vit nagging from your family is the best support you can get right now. The rest is up to "time".

Gentle hugs,
Ratkity
Frankie
on 12/5/11 11:02 pm - NY
Shelly,

Condolences to you and your family. 

(((Hugs)))

Frankie
                    
Victorious_one
on 12/5/11 11:22 pm - South Central, PA


Shelly, I'm so sorry to hear!

I agree that there is no right way to grief.

It sounds like you're doing well taking care of yourself.  I'm not sure how you make your shakes, but two doubles for me (Lori's Shakes with 4 oz of half & half) is 100g of protein, and that's the minimum.  If you're doing that, taking all your vites, and drinking your fluids, you should be OK for a while.

After a bit of the shock and storm passes, challenge yourself to up your protein a bit and bring the carbs down.  You will feel better physically, which will help with the emotional healing.

Take excellent care of yourself.  Sending you a big hug.

Nicole  Lab rata data link- One-half of a DS couple!  - I'M BELOW GOAL!
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(deactivated member)
on 12/5/11 11:59 pm

My condolences to you and your loved ones on the loss of your father. It's only normal to go back to our habits of emotional eating... those things never really go away, even with wls. You can keep a log... just jot down what protein you've gotten in for the day and don't worry about the carb intake for now. As for your vites, that's a must and not negotiable--make sure you get those in. You can write that down too, along with your protein intake for the day. Again, I'm so sorry you've lost your father... it's never easy to lose a loved one... just take it one day at a time.

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