X-Post: Dating and Eating Habits?
So I lurked here for a long time. I love this board, all the stories and hearing all the adventures in dating land. About me: had the DS over a year ago, lost 145 lbs, am now very happy at 175 lbs and a very curvy size 10/12. Started dating this guy about 5 weeks ago and things are going really well. He is cute, well educated, physically attractive to me, tall, has a good job etc. He does not know about surgery or that I have just lost weight. Luckily my skin has bounced back really well and it is virtually unnoticeable unless my body is in certain positions.
My issue is this: he eats tons of junk food, lots of candy and fast food. Its a bit ironic as he has a Ph.D in Pharmacology/Biology and should know better - so its doubtful i can go down the "convincing" route. I have tried to make salads and add veggies to the meals we eat, he usually picks around them unless they are in a sauce. The last thing I want to do is end up the food police. He has said more than one time that his diet sucks and he wants to eat more veggies/fruit. He is definitely overweight.
I have a hard enough time on my own making good food choices, and its something I struggle with everyday. Even with the wide berth that the DS gives me I am terrified of re-gaining weight.
There are virtually no men of my religion (which is very important to me) in the country where I live (we are less than 1% of the population and more than 80% of us are of a particular ethnicity where marring out is not looked on so kindly). So my choices are limited.
Can this work or am I setting myself up for failure in the weight end of things?
My issue is this: he eats tons of junk food, lots of candy and fast food. Its a bit ironic as he has a Ph.D in Pharmacology/Biology and should know better - so its doubtful i can go down the "convincing" route. I have tried to make salads and add veggies to the meals we eat, he usually picks around them unless they are in a sauce. The last thing I want to do is end up the food police. He has said more than one time that his diet sucks and he wants to eat more veggies/fruit. He is definitely overweight.
I have a hard enough time on my own making good food choices, and its something I struggle with everyday. Even with the wide berth that the DS gives me I am terrified of re-gaining weight.
There are virtually no men of my religion (which is very important to me) in the country where I live (we are less than 1% of the population and more than 80% of us are of a particular ethnicity where marring out is not looked on so kindly). So my choices are limited.
Can this work or am I setting myself up for failure in the weight end of things?
HW 315/ SW 297 /CW 173 /GW 150, size 8/10, 5'8 tall (Updated December 1)
Hi Sarah,
For the men who I dated for any length of time, unfortunately for them, they gained weight eating like me...bacon, fats, etc. I didnt want to be a closet bacon eater so I told some. LOL Many I would tell them that I had weird eating habits, but the eating habits worked for ME. Some knew about the surgery, some didn't. So really, no matter what his eating habits are, they are probably going to be different from YOUR eating habits. I am sure he will not be able to eat bacon (fill in the blank) like you do without recourse. So, because you have had the DS, your eating habits are probably somewhat different from most others. You and he will probably never be on the same "eating page". Mine have never been on the same page with anyone pre or post- DS. Take care of YOUR nutritional needs. He will have to work out his own whenever (and if) he chooses to do so. If he chooses your choices that are healthy for him, great, if not, there's really nothing you can do, shy of being the food police.
In a nutshell...
Enjoy the relationship and take care of YOU. :)
Teri
For the men who I dated for any length of time, unfortunately for them, they gained weight eating like me...bacon, fats, etc. I didnt want to be a closet bacon eater so I told some. LOL Many I would tell them that I had weird eating habits, but the eating habits worked for ME. Some knew about the surgery, some didn't. So really, no matter what his eating habits are, they are probably going to be different from YOUR eating habits. I am sure he will not be able to eat bacon (fill in the blank) like you do without recourse. So, because you have had the DS, your eating habits are probably somewhat different from most others. You and he will probably never be on the same "eating page". Mine have never been on the same page with anyone pre or post- DS. Take care of YOUR nutritional needs. He will have to work out his own whenever (and if) he chooses to do so. If he chooses your choices that are healthy for him, great, if not, there's really nothing you can do, shy of being the food police.
In a nutshell...
Enjoy the relationship and take care of YOU. :)
Teri
The only place were success comes before work is in the dictionary
(deactivated member)
on 11/28/11 9:20 am
on 11/28/11 9:20 am
Sarah,
The only thing I am going to address here is the DS 'diet'. I live with my son for now and I cook for us. He eats basically what I eat and has lost weight and his cholesterol has come down. The only thing I do differently for him is I do not add extra fat, otherwise he eats a high-protein, low carb diet right along with me with excellent results.
I don't have any other advice, I am not attracted to junk food or very many simple carbs because most of that stuff is highly processed it just doesn't agree with me so I don't eat it so I don't know what to tell you there.
Maybe you could have a sreious talk with him before you are totally involved, if it isn't too late. :)
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