Bullying and Newbies

sometimes you have to let a numpty know they are being a total ******g wanker and vice versa

I love you for that statement alone!!!!! And if you find your way to Montana I will move heaven and earth to meet you there.

Hrumph. You won't move heaven and earth to meet ME there? *pouting*

Oh honey you get a special trip!  I'm gonna come and see you first!

*smoochies* You are very sweet. I DO try to be a little bit accomodating, but frankly, I don't give a damn what random strangers think of me or my posting style.

I have friends here whose opinions I value. That's a whole different ballgame. Some of my friends think I'm way too harsh, but they love me anyway and that is a great gift that they give me. Others get tired of me and move away. Such is life. Sometimes it makes me sad, sometimes not.

You forgot to mention that how I respond depends an awful lot on my mood :-p.

Once upon a time I used to get very butthurt when people got upset with how I came across (which can happen in person as well as in writing). *I* knew my intentions and would get incredibly frustrated when they didn't come across. Finally I had to get over it. I work at moderating my style when it's of value to me to do so, such as in the classroom or workplace or other situations where a certain style is paramount, and I've got it sort of figured out now *snort*.

But here? If someone wants my help, they're going to have to take it the way it comes. I am not a mail order business and I offer no options in delivery methods.

I don't have a problem with cussing, or all caps, but I do think that calling people stupid, or telling they're too stupid to live, etc. is above and beyond.  If my husband said those things to me it would be considered abuse, when my mother said those things to me it was considered, by a court of law, to be abuse, why is it that when it comes from a stranger it's considered "concern". 

Freedom of speech is great and yes the block button is a wonderful tool (and I'm using it) but it's out there, it's been said, those feelings of self doubt, distrust, and sadness are there now.  Maybe people should have thicker skin and not care what a stranger says but maybe the stranger should consider that those words can cut very deeply because of things in the persons past.  When I read ENs words I heard my mothers voice and I felt the same things I felt back then...I'm worthless, I'm not worth caring about, and I don't deserve care or love or better treatment.  I immediately came back and told myself and her that I do deserve better and I'm sure it's not her problem that I've dealt with this in the past but maybe people can take a moment and feel before they say such hurtful things.  She could have easily said what she needed to say to me without calling me stupid and saying I was too stupid to live.  That is not concern in my book.

Go ahead and cut me down if you wish but I still maintain that even with freedom of speech we have a responsibility to think of others before we speak and wonder if we said those same things to our parents, spouses, children would the world look at it the same way?

But some people ARE too stupid to live! You should check out the Darwin awards. They are literally too stupid to live.  I suppose those that can't be arsed to research the massively complex and dangerous surgery that is the DS are on the same spectrum.  Having nursed two women who died of post bariatric surgery malnutrition and heart failure I have no issue with kicking people into touch.  You seem to be missing the gravity of this situation by focusing on hurt feelings.

They change you forever and leave you with Sub-Saharan African levels of malnutrition which you have to fight every single day.  It also utterly cures your obesity in most cases and gives you a quality of life you never dreamed of...but it is a lethal surgery if done on a non-compliant patient.  I promise you that. 

I am never deliberatly cruel but I will go ******g mental on someone *****fuses to do basic research and bumbles into the path of the oncoming train that is DS surgery.  I see that as an act of humanity. Better than sending flowers to the funeral in 18 months time.

Hear! Hear! 

Oh the Darwin awards, love those. My fave was the guy who shot himself in the face after chasing his spouse to her car with a loaded shotgun, then beating on the locked car door with the butt of the said shotgun... Or something like that.