Deactivated Member?

This has me thinking. Does one just decide to become a deactivated member when one does not like the way the wind is blowing? This is troubling for me, and I am sure many others who invest so many hours and heart into this board. 

Does it mean, I am reaching out for help but have mental illness and can't get the help I need because of the lack of resources in my area, and therefore, I want to end it. 

Does it mean, my psy. meds. I have been taken are no longer working and not able to get them leveled out due to insurance, money, lack of good psy. doctors around who understand mals. of meds. so start to self medicate, and spiral out of control and want to end it all.

Does this mean I am going to end my life and this is the start of it. Delete friends and family members, and then become a Deactivated Member?

Members open their lives to this board . The good and the bad. Some people will get blocked and some will do the blocking. This is for our own survival. We are human and we read your post, you are already in our minds blocked or not, and when post are made with wanting to end a life, it affects us all.

I am taken time today to remember all those Deactivated Members? Candle burning and mind on them all.  We are not perfect, but we do remember and hurt inside when one is in trouble and we don't know how to help, sometimes the block button is all one has, and sometime a Deactivated Member is all they know to do when the pain is to great? Karen

Sometimes people would just rather wallow in their misery than take the necessary actions to pull themselves out of it.

If she can't handle things here, it is better for her to leave for awhile. She needs that energy to fix her real life. She does have options, maybe she's just not ready to hear them, yet.

Sending good thoughts her way...

I have known a handful that have chosen to deactivate here and it was because they felt unwelcomed and unsupported or maybe even called stupid and realized there were other places that could give what they were looking for which was kindness and acceptance. It should come as no surprise as people mention over & over the bullies they encouter here sometimes. Not everyone has a thick skin.

Jazzbabe flounced, eh?

Maybe one day she will realize that she's not a helpless victim and that NOT everything in her life is because of whatever prejudice she wishes to consider herself as receiving that day. I lost what little belief I might have had in her comments about racism when she referred to people she worked with and looked down upon as "Ghetto."

You don't get to place both sides of the card.

That being said, I am not gleeful at her misery. She could go back to school and make it work. She'd just have to do it differently than she is now. Welcome to the wide world of student loans.

She has far more going on than medication issues. If she's going to make it, she's going to have to CHOOSE to make it. I've managed to avoid hospitalization for suicidal depression, thank heavens, but that doesn't mean I haven't lived it. I've lived from one checkin phone call to the next for weeks at a time. I spent a year and a half in bed, didn't get up except to go to therapy a couple times a week and when a friend (the one died of malnutrition complications a couple months ago) came and forcibly dragged me out of the house.

I've been in some very ******g dark places. Getting through them involves a lot of choices. If someone becomes unwilling to make those choices, there is very little anyone can do for them.
 
Karen, I've also gotten my heart ripped out of my chest by ultra needy people on the Internet more times than you can imagine. Don't let this happen to you. If you believe you can make some kind of contact with Jazzbabe and impart some kind of useful....something, by all means do so. But remember that you are far away and you only have a tiny fraction of the story.

MY personal rule of thumb in dealing with people online who threaten self harm is to send the cops to their door. (I'm good at it, too.) If they can't keep themselves safe, then that's all I have left at my disposal to make an effort to get them to safety. If you want help doing that with Jazzbabe, PM me and I'll help you do it.

Just don't let yourself get so sucked into an alternate reality that you lose sight of the parameters. Been there, done that, oh dear me do I have stories to tell. I came to my harsh boundaries about what I'll tolerate from people the hard ways.

Edited cuz I left out a very important NOT :-).

I read and actually posted in that particular thread too.  4 pages of people offering suggestions/help/kind words, only to have that met by a dismissive attitude and reasons why all the help and advice wouldnt work in her particular situation.  I even offered to personally tutor her in the class if she took it again and I meant every word I said.  I just got the feeling after awhile that nothing anyone said was going to make a bit of difference because the woe-is-me ship had already set sail.  Which was sad because if anyone else could understand what she was going through, it was us.  I just dont think we were telling her what she wanted to hear.  All was not lost and she didnt have to let one class derail all of her hopes and dreams.   

But having lived with depression myself for a number of years, I can understand how someone can only see the darkness despite the fact that people were doing everything they could to let in the light.  I hope things will get better for her and she will realize that this doesnt have to be the end of things that she wants.  Hopefully time and support will help her to see this too.

Karen,

There is help here and help in real life for anyone who wants it.  We offer it freely here and I for one, can't take it too hard when someone decides they don't want or need what we have to offer. 

We all have our own journey.  I try not to judge other people because I don't know their journey.

We will still be here whenever anyone decides they want what we have to offer and we will welcome them back.

Until then I choose to focus on offering my time and help to people who want it. 

~Becky

I feel bad for her. It seemed like her spirit was filled with anger.

she seemed hopeless sounding & very depressed and I hope she rethinks it all and pulls thru and doesnt do anything foolish! I could see leaving here a few months but why delete? That part worries me. I hope she gets some help.

I am wondering if the cops could really accomplish much except maybe a 72 hour hold if she admits being suicidal? I'd rather write to Dr Phil & Oprah and let them intervene to get the extensive help she really needs. . . .

Those of us with depression can understand where she is at.  Maybe she went off her meds and hasn't realized yet that she needs them for life.  Some of the smartest people do that.  Or they start listening to someone who tells them they aren't praying hard enough or the "right way" to overcome depression, and they don't need meds.  Who knows. 

I still say there's alot more good here than bad.  The bullies are way out-numbered by the rest.  And they are what the "block" button is for anyhoo.  (And the fire-retardant big girl panties)

And just because she is no longer heard from doesn't mean she's gone off the deep end.  Alot of people disappear from these boards because they are too busy living a happy life to log on and post about it.  That sounded bad.  Not to mean that those of us who post daily are NOT living happy lives!  She's just getting "fed" some other way.