During surgery....

 How important is it that my support person stay *in the hospital* for the duration?  My husband might have our daughter with him and take her to a local park or something.  Is that doable or should I have him leave her with his mom?  And then should he stay there the whole time?  

13 days until surgery!  I am sure I will think of a million other last-minute-type questions!  

Hosptials are very germy places and there are people coming in and out in various stages of discombobulation and sobriety and if there WERE an emergency, would you want and would the hospital allow her to go see you hooked up to a ton of hardware and her dad in whatever state HE might be in?

Back in the day, I had a hysterectomy which was an extensive thing and I was ten days in-patient...and they didn't allow kids in the hospital.  She refused to talk to me on the phone because she was pissed at being abandoned and when I got home she gave me the cold shoulder and I had to reassure her that I *HAD* to go away because I was sick and the dotors had to "fix" me...and eventually she forgave me.

But I still would rather have her deal with the temporary abandonment than deal with having to see me in ICU or someplace.  She was two at the time.

I vote for Grandma.

 Most hospitals do not allow children under a certain age to be present.  My daughters, who were 10 and 12 at the time were not allowed to even come and see me, let alone be there.

 Maybe it's just me, but I appreciated the times I was alone.  Dont get me wrong, having my husband there while I was in surgery, and when I first got to my room was a great comfort to me, as well as when he woudl visit, of course.  But most of the time I was just tired and out of it and wanted to sleep.  Didnt bother me at all when he wasnt there.

ETA:  I would also leave your daughter with family.  There's too much goign on, and you're going to have all types of tubes and IV's that might alarm her.

Definitely leave your daughter with someone else.  She should not visit you until the next day.  And yes,  he should stay at the hospital the entire time in case something happens.  He should stay with you until you are out of recovery and checked into a room and visiting hours are over.

I had my DS surgery last Tuesday.    My husband stayed the first night but it wasn't even that necessary then.  He was great support, but not much for him to "help" with.   That is what the staff is for.  My 7 year old daughter came everyday for a short time, but did not stay for any length.  You will only feel like resting, sipping and walking.  Trust me time alone is good.  

During your actual surgery it is very important your support person stays in the hospital; you'll want them there just in case. After your surgery is another thing altogether. I wouldn't have small children around... you need to rest and you'll be home soon enough, getting back to normal with the little ones. Take advantage of it while you can.

Leave the daughter with a friend and have your husband stay close by. If something were to happen I would imagine he'd want to know. I instructed mine that he was to eat breakfast and lunch while I was in there. He only had breakfast and couldn't leave after that. He was concerned about me and the surgery and refused to go anywhere. He was constantly thinking, "what if". My husband was totally cool and relaxed about everything until they wheeled me into the OR. Things change when you get there.

It would be really hard for your husband to have to watch a child in a hospital waiting room for hours. Wouldn't your daughter be happier staying with Grandma where she can play?
After the surgery, the doctor will want to let your husband know what happened.
It is a serious surgery, and I think a husband would want to be in the hospital to get that update from the doctor.

Do yourself and your husband a HUGE favor and have your daughter stay with her grandmother. You'll be doing her a favor too, for that matter.

If you think she's old enough to handle a SHORT visit once you are in your regular room, then do that. But make it SHORT and make sure she has supportive people around her when she's done.

What do you think you might want from your husband while you are in surgery and recovery? How about once you are in your room? What are you imagining?

I got crappy attention from regular nursing staff until AFTER they dropped me while first getting me out of bed. Then I got semi ****ty attention but a tiny bit better. If I hadn't had my former housemate there, they would have forgotten I existed.

However, other hospitals do a far better job in that regard, I'm sure. Well, some of them, anyway. When I had my hernia repair/tt, I was in overnight and saw a nurse almost hourly. As long as I had my pain pill and my computer, I was a happy camper, so we sat and visited.

I suppose it also kind of depends on how mobile you are now, too. I was pretty immobilized when I came in for my DS, oxygen dependent, 400 lbs. and all, so that had an impact. I was awfully glad to have someone around, just so that I knew SOMEONE would get staff's attention before I died /sarcasm.