Approved for Surgery - Wracked with Doubt

Hi Brenda.  Congratulations on your incredible success at losing your excess weight. Thanks for taking time to respond.  I have followed what so many others - you included - so unhesitatingly say about DS: that they are very happy (and some ecstatic) with their decisions to go through with it.  That really does make a huge difference to me and I am grateful that so many have taken the time to post here about their experiences.  They have been a real help to me in getting this far. I think I know that a DS is the right path for me, but just needed to work out a few more of the reservations that are still rattling around in my head.  This has helped me to do that.  Thanks again to you and everyone for helping me to get to this point.

I think everyone else has made great points, so I won't go over them. My question for you -- I see you have Dr. I as your surgeon. Are you in the Twin Cities area? Would you like to talk to some real life vets about their DS experiences? There are some MN DSers that have monthly support group meetings and a Facebook group. PM me if you'd like info.

Thanks for your invitation, EJ.  I am in the Twin Cities.  I will figure out how to PM and then send you a note.

lawbuoy, I sent you a message. For messages, MY OH ---> Messages

 I'm very inclined to write back to anyone who has Eric Cartman as their avi :)

I understand why you feel the way you do.  My best advice is to try to separate the facts from the emotion.  The facts are that only a small fraction of morbidly obese people are able to lose weight and keep it off - so few that it's viritually impossible.  And for any of the exceptions that do, their lives are totally absorbed in diet and exercise - and even that is no guarantee they will maintain the loss.  It is incredibly difficult at best, and more likely just impossible.

Those are the facts.  The emotional side is fear.  That's normal, we were all there, and there would be something wrong wtih you if you didn't feel that way.  Something about that approval letter makes it all seem so real, I felt the exact same way.

You have to think of what is the most likely outcome of either choice you make, and stay focused on that.  And please stick around here and discuss if that helps you, it was a great deal of help to me in the beginning.

Joanne

Hi Joanne.  Cartman cracks me up!  You are, of course, right that this comes down to separating fear (or at least the unrealistice fear) from everything else.  What's left after taking away the fear is the only realistic hope of getting past this.  That's what will get me to the hospital on the 15th of next month. Thanks for your help with this.

 My brother had his DS 3 months after me, and on the day of his surgery I was still trying to convince him not to jump off the pre-op bed and run out of the hospital.  I dont think he actually would have done that, but the thought was definitely there.  

You have a good surgeon, and you will be fine.  It's shocking when the reality sets in.  Even though I had researched my butt off, been to seminars, consults, etc....the day I got the call that my DS was approved I sat motionless for a good part of the afternoon, paralyzed by the reality of it all.  You're bound to go through lots of different emotions - fear, panic, excitement., and then some.  It's all normal.  

Do you have a surgery date yet?  

November 15 is my date.  I'm going to ask for giant pair of Depends . . . do they let you wear those during surgery?  Wait, don't tell me - the less I picture myself being hoisted around during surgery the better.  I know what you mean about finding out that you are approved.  When my surgeon's office called with the news, I gave the flattest affect "oh . . . okay" for my response.  The call came very shortly after the request for approval was submitted and I really wasn't ready to hear it just then.  Feeling pretty good about right now though, thanks to you all.  Thanks again, Joanne.

 I'm a preop going through those very same thoughts, so you have to be strong for the rest of us weenies!  LOL  I know you'll come to the right decision, reading profiles has helped me alot, especially since I see that all of these crazy "Ima gonna die!!" thoughts are not all that unusual.  I'm a control freak who HATES the idea of putting my life into someone elses hands, it's just how my mind works.  Best of luck to you in your decison, it sounds like you're getting your mind straight now....

Thanks, Twyla.  I think I am, in the words of the Captain in Cool Hand Luke, "gonna get [my] mind right."  I think I'm there now.  I really appreciate your help.  I'm keeping good thoughts for you and your surgery.