Some "persuasion" help please!!!

this is something that is very difficult, we all think our surgery is the best, personally I would not ever get RNY.  There is a point in life that you have respectfully given all the information, etc and you have to let it go, putting your wants and needs on others is not the way to go.  We have to let people experience everything, as we are not responsible for them, being good or bad for them.  We all learn our way, sometimes hard.  She may need your support later on the years, and yes she probably will gain the weight back.  Be there for her, but let her make the final decision, give her all the info., you can't force her, imposing your views on her can push her away, permanently,  as hard as it may be it is her decision to make, preserve your relationship with your sister, you are only responsible for yourself.....difficult situation, when you feel you have done all you can, let it go....

You might have her read my post about my friend.

Material that shows that surgeons are in business to make $$$$ might help. Then show her how they can do more RNYs than DS procedures in the same amount of time for very similar reimbursement rates.

Sit down with her and go over Dr. Keshishian's comparison of RNY and DS on his website, www.dssurgery.com . Colleagues would accuse him of bias in his language, but he's telling it like it is.

That comparison table is a good resource. Thanks for posting the link. I'm gonna forward it to someone I know who's thinking about the VSG.

 Elizabeth...your post actually reminded me alot of my sister.  It's probably one of the reasons I started thinking so much about it yesterday.  I did email that post to her to read last night....was one of my spamming projects.  I can be VERY annoying when I feel like one of my clan isn't listening...LOL

@ airbender....I would have gladly let it be her decision, and still will, if she had AT LEAST researched her options a little.  I am her sister, first and foremost, and will be there through the good, the bad AND the ugly, regardless of what she ultimately does.  I just feel that's what love is...you love them through it all, no matter what.  Hell, I'm her older sister, and as such, I'm used to her ignoring me...LOL  I've also had 3 teens, all of which ignored me also.  God definitely saw fit to teach me that lesson....learning to let it go, and let that pony run...whatever the outcome.

*snort* @ Beth....yeah, that's how she is, but I took that into account.  She's been in competition with me on different things for years, always to prove she was right about something..LOL

The ONLY thing I want to accomplish, is to make sure she knows what is out there, and not just be lead there...blindly.  If she decides to go with the RNY, she's a grown woman, and it's her decision, but I want her to know there are other options.   Thanks again everyone....

Even if she still chooses the RNY despite your efforts to educate her, you're a great sister and you did everything you could. Sometimes no matter how hard we try, we cannot free someone else's mind.

Big hugs and a pat on the back!

My dark not-so-hidden secret - despite my DS advocacy for the last 8+ years, my 4 years-younger sister, who has been MO-SMO pretty much her entire life, is uninterested and implacably against even discussing surgery.  Her knees are bad, her cholesterol is up, probably her blood sugars too - but she will not even consider changing her life.  She finally got a trainer and is getting exercise, so that's a step in the right direction, but I am very worried about her.

The thought of surgery terrifies her, but I think the thought of change terrifies her worse.  Her fat is a protection against so many things - getting a job (she was a lawyer before she had her daughter, who is now 19, and her appearance is complicated by a disinterest in dressing properly, wearing make-up, and a disconserting manner of not looking people in the eyes when she talks), changing the relationship with her much older and (in my opinion, very Aspie) husband, even getting and keeping her house clean and organized.  She is 54 and has been vegging for the last 20 years, but doesn't seem interested in change.

I got her to attend an Elariny group meeting once - and promised to let it go after that.  It kills me to keep my mouth shut, trust me.

 You know Diana, I think that's what finally moved ME forward.  The realization that I was letting my fat protect me in so many ways.  If I'm fat, then people won't demand so much of me....if I'm fat, then I have an excuse as to why I can't do certain things...if I'm fat, then I don't HAVE to show who I really am, as if it were a fence or blanket of some sort, to keep people out.  I allowed myself to become so entangled in the "fat girl" persona, that I never allowed myself to become much of anything that I could have been, and could possibly still be.

Some people you just can't argue with.  On the other hand, I just need to soothe my conscience with the situation, and know in my heart I've done all I need to do.

I understand how you feel about what is going on with your sister, which is somewhat different from my situation with mine - your sister is about to make a potentially horrible and irreversible mistake, which is a more urgent concern.  My sister is just doing nothing to help herself, and that is a long-term problem that at least she isn't making worse right now.

Never mind the past - just look forward.  You did what you did, for reasons that were valid for you at the time.  Cir****tances - and minds - change, and now you have different reasons and different goals. 

I will resist the urge to say something Kumbayaish, like "today is the first day of the rest of your life."  Remember, I DIDN'T say that.