Some "persuasion" help please!!!

Twyla S.
on 10/8/11 12:22 pm - Chattanooga, TN
 I think I've mentioned somewhere that my baby sister is going for WLS pretty soon, and has chosen....OMG....the RNY.  I've tried talking to her, referring her to this website, showing her the differences......I even tried to "dumb" it down a little and referred to the DS as kind of "staight piping" your innards.  Her reply to me was...."all three of my docs reccommended the RNY, and they ought to know what's best".  Now, don't get me wrong, I don't think my sister is entirely NUTS, but she DID have the lap band, which of course FAILED and has now eroded in her stomach.  It really worries me, because this will be her second WLS surgery, and what happens if five years down the road, she starts packing it on again?   I know my family's health history like the back of my hand, and we've all been able to lose weight in some way or another, but NONE can keep it off.  

I know how dangerous each surgery gets and I realy don't want this to happen to her.  I realize that you can't argue with stupidity (which is what I think she's being right now--a stupid sheep), but I guess I'm just looking for something that might make her sit up and think about it.  She usually does when she has a big enough reason.  I know each surgery choice is a personal one, but I just think of her as a "lamb being led to the slaughter", so to speak.  If anyone has any ideas, let me know.  People in my clan can be sooooo damn stubborn.....

August10
on 10/8/11 12:37 pm - LA
Would she possibly agree to consult a DS surgeon before she has the RNY? Then she is hearing the information from a source she obviously respects.
Twyla S.
on 10/8/11 12:56 pm - Chattanooga, TN
 I had actually thought of getting her to go with me to MY surgery consult--whenever that happens.  It would benefit me too, because she's a bit of what I would consider a hypochondriac, so she asks all kinds of questions that I forget about.  I know the important ones to ask, but it's the little things that she thinks about.  My surgeon is in Nashville TN, so maybe she'd be up for a road trip, if she doesn't go before me.  And there's another question....she has to have the band removed, so how long would it be before they would do an RNY

I guess I'm just really honked off that she would just kinda take a surgery at "face value"....kinda makes me think she's jumping into it like she did the lap band.  She's SMO, not sure even which of us weighs more because she's a pear and I'm an apple, so it's hard to judge, but I'd really hate to see her going for a third surgery down the road, and I know she would if this turns out like I think it might.  Normally, she's a fighter about getting her health stuff taken care of.  It just astounds me that she wouldn't look at all of her options.  Maybe that's where I'm a dumbass, thinking I can change someone who THINKS they're right.  I don't know.....just has me scared for her.
(deactivated member)
on 10/9/11 9:04 am
 .she has to have the band removed, so how long would it be before they would do an RNY

point her to the failed  band board.
if she's eroded - she will not get a revision @ the same time of removal & it might be up to 6 months, if at all she can get one.....depending on how severe.


(deactivated member)
on 10/8/11 1:03 pm
Try this:

http://www.obesityhelp.com/forums/DS/4053009/Introduction-Co nfused-about-RNY-and-DS/#32907889

There is some great info on that thread. Look for a post by Haley_Haley.
sandyv63
on 10/8/11 1:15 pm - Naples, FL

Didn't a doctor give her the crap-band? And how's that working out for her? If her doctors really knew what was best for her, why does she need revision surgery now? So much for  her doctors knowing what is best for her. Here is a link to a fansastic article comparing the RnY and DS for the SMO population. Print it and give it to her. If she still thinks the RnY is her better option, then she is plain doomed to suffer the rest of her life and there is nothing you can do about that.

http://www.dsfacts.com/Duodenal-Switch-Compared-to-Gastric-B ypass.html

zuzupetals2u2
on 10/8/11 1:32 pm - Sedona, AZ
OMG that is so frustraing I know. I had a friend deterined to have the band and she wouldn't listen to me no matter what I suggested. I haven't heard from her since her laoband sugery now. If you could only get her to come here and start reading you might have a chance! Good luck! !!
   
1985 Verticle Banded Gastroplasty to DS revision 2010     sw 280 gw 140 cw 188 hw 360

“If the person you are talking to doesn't appear to be listening, be patient. It may simply be that he has a small piece of fluff in his ear.?
Winnie the Pooh
  
  
prettypixels
on 10/8/11 3:41 pm
Has she read any of the failed lap band group here? That might be helpful. Doctors can and do make mistakes and errors in judgment. All I can contribute is that having lived with a pouch, I do not want to trade one pouch in for another pouch. I hate pouches. The idea of NOT throwing up every time I eat sounds so AWESOME!

Isn't she concerned at all about regain? I mean, even Carnie Wilson regained a lot of her weight and she has professional help!
Twyla S.
on 10/8/11 3:48 pm - Chattanooga, TN
 Well.....I think I can now officially be called a "spammer".  I've sent her about thirty emails with different threads and links.  I've given the "big sister said to" order to read or else.  I've whipped her arse in the past, I might can try again.....I'm pretty good with a cane!  LOL  Of course, there's always the possibility that she might read where I called her a "stupid sheep" and come and whip my old ass....who knows?  LOL

I love my sister dearly and would hate for her to go down a road that I'm almost positive won't work.  I just know this clan too well, and I know how she did with the crap band......and yes, I sent threads from the failed crap band forum.  She used to force herself to eat, even when the band wasn't allowing her, and she hated being sick all the time.  I'd hate to see the same thing happen with the RNY.

You people just have no idea what this forum has started!  I just talked with my uncle yesterday about having the DS.  He's over 400 lbs....he's a big man naturally, but he's also fat, and his health is going downhill fast.  My middle sister has also gotten the word, and I've managed to convince ALL of my youngest sisters children to get on board with me.  I've explained it all to them...they're older teens....so they will be preaching to her too.  They think their Auntie knows it all!  LOLOL  Thanks so much for everyones help!!!!!
beth-28
on 10/8/11 4:44 pm
When I was younger, I hated doing anything I was told to do (especially my older sister). If I could, I would do the exact opposite just so I could say "I'm my own person, I do what I want not what I'm told."  Needless to say, I was/am the black sheep in the family!

Now that I am more mature, I still do what I want, but am open to suggestions, and I no longer "cut off my nose to spite my face." (Thank my grandma for that saying!)

Perhaps your sister is like that....doesn't want to follow in big sisters shadow....wants to be unique?  I don't presume to know what your sister is like, I can just speak about myself.

Now if your sister is like me, maybe instead of telling her what she should do, maybe try reverse psychology....."yeah, you're right. The DS is too strong for you to handle"....and so forth. It might not work, but as you said, nothing else is working.
When push comes to shove....shove hard!

       

Never regret anything, because at one time it was exactly what you wanted.

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