SO's staying with you in the hospital

Tabitha70
on 10/1/11 6:54 am
My husband and mother traveled with me to KY for my surgery. I had complications and things didn't go as planned. I ended up in the hospital for 2 months and my husband and mom refused to leave me. They stayed in the cheapest motel they could get that was close to the hospital and my DH stayed overnight with me on the extra bad nights. They arrived at the hospital early each morning and stayed until visiting hours were over each day  (plus my Dad had to take care of our dogs and birds back home everyday for 2 months!)...I am very fortunate to have such loving, devoted family.
You shouldn't 'need' a loved one there because the nurses should be able to help you but as others said, it really helped emotionally. Even though I slept a lot of the time because I was very ill, it was comforting to see them when I woke up. And even though my nurses were absolutely wonderful, it's still nice to have family that will do the little 'extras' like propping pillows around you or holding drains, etc.  Not a necessity but nice plus it's always good to have an advocate in case you can't express your needs appropriately.

*************************************************************************************

RNY 11/00
with starting BMI of 57. Most lost was 52% EWL and BMI of 41.
Gained back every single pound.
Revision to DS 12/08 with starting BMI of 57 (again)
Over 3 years DS post-op, currently BMI of 26.3 
200lbs. gone as of 6/27/10 !!  I'm HALF of the old me as of 10/8/10 !! ONEderland 3/7/11 !!

LadyDi1970 and I are Angel buddies! 

pawmetto.on.cloud.
9

on 10/1/11 9:07 am
My husband stayed with me the whole time I was in hospital, sleeping in the recliner and it meant a lot to me that he was there, because the first few days were hard mentally and he helped with that. He was given a break during the day when my parents came to visit, letting my mom fuss over me for a while.
    
beth-28
on 10/1/11 9:55 am
I haven't had mine yet, but I can tell you my hubby will not stay with me. He will stay long enough to make sure I come out of surgery safely, talk to me a visit for a while, and then drive 2 hours to go back home. I am kind of like Julie, I don't wnt to feel obligated to be cheerful and polite when I am in pain. I want him to go home so I can sleep when I want to, not have him feel bad when I am hurting.

He can tell my family that I am doing well, so there isn't a steady procession of visitors. I am my own best advocate ( he'll be the first to tell you that ), so unless I'm unconcious I won't need him to advocate for me. I worked in a hospital for 6+ years so I know how things work there....I won't freak out if my call button isn't answered immediately.

When I get home, my oldest son will be able to run any errands I may need, and take/pick-up my youngest from school.

And my sister will help me with any "female"needs I may have (because there are just some things that need to stay a "mystery" to him.  
When push comes to shove....shove hard!

       

Never regret anything, because at one time it was exactly what you wanted.

Jennifer D.
on 10/1/11 10:54 am
If you are having surgery at Hopital Sacre Coeur in Montreal, you definitely want to have someone with you. My mom was my advocate as well as my physiotherapist (kept me breathing into the spirometer and walking).
goodkel
on 10/1/11 12:25 pm
Nope. I traveled to Mexico by myself. Did just fine.
Check out my profile: http://www.obesityhelp.com/member/goodkel/
Or click on my name
DS SW 265 CW 120 5'7"



Kathleen F.
on 10/1/11 1:18 pm
meredith_123
on 10/1/11 1:26 pm - Waterford, MI

My husband stayed with me both nights.  He said the pull out chair in the room was actually really comfy.  He could have stayed at my parents house which is about a 1/2 hour away from the hospital, but chose to stay with me.  He did leave to take a shower at my parents house the morning after the surgery. 
It was really nice having him there to walk the halls with me & to help me with little things like adjusting the pillows.  He also kept people updated on my facebook page.
We live over 2 hours away from the hospital, so I didn't think it made sense to waste all that gas driving home & then all the way back to pick me up.  My mother in law stayed at our house with the kids for the 2 nights.

  5'5" -- HW 275/SW 246/GW 130/CW 157      
beemerbeeper
on 10/1/11 2:22 pm - AL
I think it really depends on the hospital.  I would have liked to have had a lot more help than I had and I'm sure there are some old posts here that are me in a morpine fog bemoaning the fact that I was all alone.  I needed someone to reach things for me, help me cover my arse when I was going for a walk, etc...  I was totally jealous of my switch sister who had a husband with her.

I would never leave a person I love in any hospital alone unless they were in intensive care.  When my dad was in the hospital a lot before he died I paid for people to sit with him when I couldn't be there.  The nurses would not keep his clothes dry, help him eat or drink, or anything else.  There was no way he could be left alone.  In that hospital it is just "expected" that family will stay with patients 24/7.

The hospital in NC where my ex spent some time was so great I didn't worry about leaving him at all.  I saw for myself the level of care he got and how fast the nurses came when he hit the call button.

So long answer to say I think it depends on the hospital.

~Becky




Its a Secret
on 10/1/11 11:42 pm, edited 2/10/12 11:17 pm
Not posting here anylonger.
                
Twyla S.
on 10/2/11 12:57 am - Chattanooga, TN
 I haven't had mine yet either, but I'm lucky (I think....) that most of my family are trying to go with me...LOL  Of course, they all can't, but I will have my OCD/adhd husband and overprotective son and a big mouthed opinionated friend of mine who will be with me.  I've already told the old man and son that NO INTIMIDATION tactics are allowed and am trying to educate them on everything I find out about the surgery, so they'll know what to do and look for if anything goes haywire.
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