Marriage and the DS what to expect...

I know me and my husband have a GREAT marriage, we are best friends. So most replies made me feel better but.... I am mostly looking into how to forwarn my poor husband what to expect. Because I know I will be cranky because I am not feeling well but I have never done a major surgery. So I have no idea how I will react. I might go bonkers with emotional moodswings. How did you all handle the emotional stress of being stuck to a bed? How was your overall moral? Were the hormones bad? I am very sensitive to hormone adjustments. I try any type of BC and I am a total bipolar person it seems. Hence why I take hormone adjustment pills to keep me on the straight and narrow.

I just kinda wanted a crash course as to what type of strain to expect. I know we will make it through this, I have no doubt in my mind. I was mostly just trying to help the damage control lol

 Really, truly?  I didn't have any hormonal adjustments.   I don't know why, and I'm probably the odd one here, but I didn't.   I was just so darned excited to be losing weight, that perhaps it offset that.    I experienced no depression, and once I came home from the hospital, I just kind of putzed around the house a bit and hung out and rested a bit.    I was never bed-bound or anything like that.    I cooked a turkey dinner for my family at maybe a week out, I do remember that - I mean not like Thanksgiving or anything, but my older college aged kids came up from Detroit, and I made a big dinner.    Okay, so maybe I'm a freak.    

I think the roughest time may be very early out when you're still healing from the incision and on pain meds. Youy'll be cranky from time to time from pain, or not being mobile. Also the pain meds will mess with your head just a teeny bit. For example, I was a few days post op and getting cranky because I couldn't get a bottle of apple juice open. I was ready to throw it across the room when hubs- gently- took the bottle from me and opened it. It turns out I was twisting the bottle cap the wrong way, but too doped up to realize it but he didn't say anything because he didn't want me to feel bad.

i had a big bout of depression (i believe it was hormone related), that hit around 4 months out.  i didn't have an SO, but if he knows it's coming, it might help to have a shoulder to cry on when you freak out for no real reason.

As far as initial recovery, i felt almost 'normal' physically at around 1.5 weeks.  so being 'stuck to a bed' didn't really last an overly long amount of time.

I agree with everything Julie said. I had my DS the day after our 25th anniversary. Yesterday was our 30th. If anything our marriage is even better because now I can do all the things we used to dream about doin. I waspost menopasual when I had my DS and I did have some hormone swings in the first few months. We both knew it could happen and BW handled it amazingly. He has been and is my biggest supporter..myrock.

Best of luck to you!

 100% agree on what Julie and Darlene said.  I too believe a bad marriage pre op is a worse marriage post op and usually will end. I good marrage pre op, just gets so much stronger post op.  
I was happily married pre surgery and now am even happier.  

There is no down and dirty. Your relationship is what it is and it you want it to last, you work at it and make it wonderful. If you are miserable, like Julie did, get out!!! you will leave the weaker link behind and only the stronger part of you will survive WLS and the drastic changes the DS will have on your body.

good luck

Donna

 I have to agree with what the others  have stated. If you have a good relationship going into surgery you will be just fine. If not it could change a lot for you if your in a bad situation. Sounds like your relationship is stable. 

I have a hubby that I am truly blessed with. He has put up with many major medical issues over the years. I think the hardest part for him was during the WL time when I could peel the paint off the walls easily with a bathroom visit. This has settled down as the weight stablized. He has been a huge support to me and loves me fat to thin, but admits he REALLY likes the smaller version overall now that he has it. He never put me down when I heavy etc, but he enjoys the new me very much. Of course, I have more confidence than I did in the past as well.  He has enjoyed seeing that strengthened in me. 

OH, keep him away from the left overs ! Mine gained for a little bit, he did not want the food to go to waste. We got that under control and he has lost, but he had gotten in the habit of eating what I could not. So keep an eye out for that. I have seen that in many situations. 

lol its funny you mention that my husband is a leftover king! but he is a stick, his metabolism runs high and he can eat droves of food.

I didn't have any emotional mood-swings, but I did have some hormonal shifts. There were a couple of weeks where all I thought about was sex... ALL DAY. So maybe prepare your husband to be ready for that. LOL. 

lol i am sure he will love that type of news hahaha