Stop Making our DS Vets Crazy
The following does not apply to everyone, but to the few who make our DS vets crazy.
This is not new info, but stated in a way that even idiots can understand.
DC raised a very valid and desperately-needed point for discussion.
Don’t cross in the middle of the street-you can get hit by a car
Don’t go to the mall with shoplifters-you’ll get blamed too
Don’t drive drunk-you can kill /maim others and yourself
Don’t take drugs-you can damage your mind, health and legal standing
Don’t fail to get an education-you’ll limit your career choices
Don’t go back to the husband who hit you-he’ll do it again
Don’t buy alcohol for minors-you’ll get arrested
Don’t submit to surgery by incompetent, unstable or unethical docs
All the above warnings have been uttered by people of goodwill. These same people will even discuss the rationale for that advice. In each of the above cases there are arguments for ignoring the advice.
But I’m in a hurry
But they’re my friends
But I’m so close to home
But I can handle it
But school is boring
But I love him
But they’ll get it somewhere
But I’m already scheduled, need it done quickly, like his staff, etc
Then you do it anyway and disaster follows.
OMG! Who would have guessed? Why, God, why? How could this have happened? What do I do? Help Meeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!!!!
Well, what did you think was going to happen? Was God supposed to close his eyes while you ignored the good advice He sent you? Maybe the universe should have suspended its laws because you didn’t find them convenient?
What about compassion? What about mercy? How about you having a little compassion, mercy and gratitude for those who take time out of their busy schedules to share, teach, advise and encourage you?
~Jennifer
Revision to DS 11/9/11 LapBand 12/2006
SW 321/ CW 248/ GW 185 SW 330/ HW 348/ LW 300
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1) Since you are an atheist, you should listen to Linus. He is obviously running the show and is the most bi-polar of your household. The formerly followed Book of Penfold is obviously outdated and far too predictable to follow for divine instruction. (Pet me, feed me, love me, clean my poo - notice no stalking of the undies, hiding of the petrified turds, eyeballing disrespectful deer, etc.)
2) Esperanto, badly. William Shatner is the primary prophet of this language - see Incubus.
3) Yes.
4) No, you aren't. You are Biff, Jesus' best childhood friend.
a) we went to the vets for his booster and I yelled at him for trying to bite the tortoise and snorting up hair off the cats tale from the carrier box and for barking menacingly at the poor puppy with stitches in his eyelids. He then hid under my chair and tried to eat the tortoise visa stealth belly crawling. He is obviously Satan's emissary on earth and as I don't believe in God then I had better not believe in Linus either cause he's colluding with them.
b) Penfold isn't speaking to me because I didn't give him my tuna and sweetcorn toast then farted on his face by mistake when he tunneled under the duvet in proximity to my bum hole.
c) William is an annoying ***** I suspect what you're hearing is his splendid rendition of "Rocket man" played through the anus of a goat backwards as to render it listenable.
d) Where did i put it?
e) But I have the beard and a morbid fear of splinters!
on 8/23/11 10:10 am, edited 8/23/11 10:14 am - Tuvalu
1) Since you are an atheist, you should listen to Linus. He is obviously running the show and is the most bi-polar of your household. The formerly followed Book of Penfold is obviously outdated and far too predictable to follow for divine instruction. (Pet me, feed me, love me, clean my poo - notice no stalking of the undies, hiding of the petrified turds, eyeballing disrespectful deer, etc.)
2) Esperanto, badly. William Shatner is the primary prophet of this language - see Incubus.
3) Yes.
4) No, you aren't. You are Biff, Jesus' best childhood friend.
I'm going to start a program for SIGNING in Esperanto.
I'm looking for a name that will allow for the acronym TIED UP IN KNOTS.
Suggestions?
ETA: Jesus told me his childhood best friend was Chuey from La Puente.