Compassion
Some of my recent posts may seem to be harsh, and lacking in compassion. I know the purpose of these posts, even if some disagree or don't understand. But a friend posted this on FB this morning, completely unrelated to anything here, and I thought it was rather apt:
"We write a lot about kindness but less about its boundaries. Each person needs to set boundaries to helping others, though it can be painful. True compassion is sometimes involvement, at other times detachment. Many demand our caring, and our capacity is not infinite. 'No' is the word that grants you the freedom at times to wholeheartedly say 'Yes.'" -- Rabbi Wolpe
Sometimes, it is necessary to stop allowing the demanders to claim your attention, for their own good as well as yours.
"We write a lot about kindness but less about its boundaries. Each person needs to set boundaries to helping others, though it can be painful. True compassion is sometimes involvement, at other times detachment. Many demand our caring, and our capacity is not infinite. 'No' is the word that grants you the freedom at times to wholeheartedly say 'Yes.'" -- Rabbi Wolpe
Sometimes, it is necessary to stop allowing the demanders to claim your attention, for their own good as well as yours.
I know of a couple of people whose butts I'd like to tattoo that quote on. There are too many people out there who think that the word "no," or, i.e. setting boundaries, means outright rejection or withdrawal of love. I might have to use this quote as my FB status one of these days, but most likely, the people who most need to hear it are the ones who are least likely to "get" it.
Julie R - Ludington, Michigan
Duodenal Switch 08/09/06 - Dr. Paul Kemmeter, Grand Rapids, Michigan
HW: 282 - 5'4"
SW: 268
GW: 135
CW: 125
Duodenal Switch 08/09/06 - Dr. Paul Kemmeter, Grand Rapids, Michigan
HW: 282 - 5'4"
SW: 268
GW: 135
CW: 125
But how are they going to read it if it's tattoo'd on their BUTT?????
Banded in 2001 at 217 lbs - Band to DS revision 10/25/11 at 310 lbs
If life with your band sucks, you are not alone and it's not your fault. Check out the failed lap band group!
If life with your band sucks, you are not alone and it's not your fault. Check out the failed lap band group!
I've decided to treat my advice as a gift.
When you give a gift, it is no longer in your control. The recipient can do what they like with it.
So, I've decided to become indifferent to the outcomes. It is nothing I can control, anyway. If I hand you a hundred dollar bill and you choose to wipe your arse with it and flu**** down the toilet, it is a stupid waste, but I can't stop you.
This is how people stop being human beings and start being statistics.
People do what they can but some people, StephO for example, CHOOSE to become a statistic, anyway.
Oh well.
I've had enough tragedy in my own life without inviting Darwin Award winners to drag me into theirs.
When you give a gift, it is no longer in your control. The recipient can do what they like with it.
So, I've decided to become indifferent to the outcomes. It is nothing I can control, anyway. If I hand you a hundred dollar bill and you choose to wipe your arse with it and flu**** down the toilet, it is a stupid waste, but I can't stop you.
This is how people stop being human beings and start being statistics.
People do what they can but some people, StephO for example, CHOOSE to become a statistic, anyway.
Oh well.
I've had enough tragedy in my own life without inviting Darwin Award winners to drag me into theirs.
Check out my profile: http://www.obesityhelp.com/member/goodkel/
Or click on my name
DS SW 265 CW 120 5'7"
Or click on my name
DS SW 265 CW 120 5'7"
Well said. I'd like to add to others about you,specifically:
Diana sounds to some people in writing like a heartless monster. If you were to spend any time with her in person, that impression would change a lot. She is a Yiddishe Mama, the furthest possible thing from heartless. Even when she sets these absolutely vital boundaries, she's still going to fret (at least a little) about the people who don't/can't/won't get it and who go marching on their merry way.
Diana sounds to some people in writing like a heartless monster. If you were to spend any time with her in person, that impression would change a lot. She is a Yiddishe Mama, the furthest possible thing from heartless. Even when she sets these absolutely vital boundaries, she's still going to fret (at least a little) about the people who don't/can't/won't get it and who go marching on their merry way.