So my beloved hubby and I had a bet, and he lost.

 
I told everyone.  I did that because a) that's just how I am, and b) I didn't want people to worry that I was sick once the weight started falling off quickly (I'm a cancer survivor, and most people know that, too).

What has happened is that it opens the door for everyone to freely and openly analyze your progress, and give feedback on how slim they think you ought to be and when you should "stop."  I don't feel particularly supported in my journey:  I just feel like I now live in a fishbowl.

You don't have to tell anyone.  If you don't want to share about surgery, you have to consider how you will respond when people ask, "what are you doing?"

Although obviously this ship has sailed,  this is really about your husband's disrespect for your right to decide what is private to you and with whom you share private information.  It was not his decision to make - it was yours.  That needs to be clear in your relationship for situations that may come up in the future.

Your body, your health,  your privacy,  your comfort level,  your decision.

You don't have to defend yourself about this.  At all.  And certainly not to your own husband.

Just what I was thinking, only you said it better than I would have.

To the OP, my feeling is that you let him bully you into doing something you were not comfortable doing. I hope in the future you won't let him do this, whether in regards to your DS or anything else. To me, it doesn't even matter than you were right and he was wrong, the point is that you didn't want to tell these people and he made you feel that you had to tell them. THAT'S what he got wrong, not what their response would be.
     He did not respect you, and you let him get away with it.

Larra

YES YES YES.

do what is comfortable for you.  over 2 yrs out , maybe 5 ppl in my life know i had wls.  my own father doesn't know. 
our friends and loved ones think they know what is best for us, but if i hear one more time "oh, i am so glad you didn't take the cheater's way out (by having surgery)".  grrrrrr......obviously they don't know dittle about the surgery.
share your journey with the world or keep it private.  it's your choice.  i don't believe it's lying by omission.  not everything in our lives needs to be broadcasted.
wishing you the best with your surgery and your journey.

When I had my lapband surgery I told my family and a couple of close friends.  I had one incidence (about 6 months after my surgery) when my band was tightened too much and I couldn't eat or drink and I ended up getting dehydrated and having to get IV fluids in the hospital.  My friends, and a few family members, took the opportunity to tell me what a mistake I had made. 

Now, with failing at the lapband, I have no desire to hear those things so I've chosen to tell only my family members that see me on a daily basis, my PCP, and one close friend that I work with what I'm considering.

I think, that if I hadn't failed at my first WLS I would be more open to telling people but maybe not.  Ultimately it's YOUR decision, nobody else's and hopefully your friends will come around once they see you are alright and doing well with the surgery.

Good Luck!

You've got your thinking backwards sweetheart. YOU didn't fail your wls, your WLS failed YOU. There's a reason that even those of us that haven't been implanted with that evil thing call it the crapband. You've got to wrap your head around that and realize that you deserve a second chance at the life you were attempting to achieve with that horrid little thing. Yes, you made a bad decision in deciding to get the crapband, but that is the end of your "failure". You must decide that you are worth all of the good things that come with this wonderful DS life, and to do that, you need to have more self-respect and self-esteem.

Thanks for your kind words April.  I've been working with a therapist to try to get my self-respect and self-esteem issues under control, we're not there yet but we're going to get there, I know it. 

I just spoke with my lapband surgeon last week and he even told me that the lapband is a failure and the studies prove it.  He said that anything that fails as many people as the lapband has to be considered a failure.  He also said that too many people (typically those who have never had a weight problem) jump to the conclusion that the patient failed because they obviously have no self-controll so they didn't change.  He said that he's seen many, many patients do everything right and the band still failed them.  He's a big believer in lapband to DS revisions and says he truly believes that I'm making the right choice (it helped a lot to hear him say that since he's the one who put the band in).

I promise I'll work on remember that as I move forward!!

I pretty much did. I still to this day have only told maybe 15 people and I'm a month out. I told my mother via text two days prior and still havent told my father just out of embarrasement with him and my mom. I told my husband when I first started looking into the surgery he supported me and was great. I told someone I would consider one of my closest friends and it was like a bomb went off and I had to defend myself and my choice and I was shocked that she didnt want the best for me and it froze me and played in my mind over and over and I them was like this is my choice my life and I am going to do what I feel is right and didnt feel great about telling others because I didnt want to feel like I had to defend me!

I was so clearly on my last legs that it was apparent to anyone that I needed WLS, so I had very little of that kind of thing. There was one fella who wanted to fix me with his magical supplements, but he's just that way regardless.

What I *did* have was several people who fretted at me that I was getting "too thin" a year or so out. (I was at around 75% EWL at the time.) I got pretty good at spouting my line about how I was in close communication with a variety of doctors and had gotten an excellent education in how to care for myself TYVM.

Now the important thing: Your DH had BETTER be eating big time crow over this. He was way out of line at badgering you into telling when you didn't want to tell, and you were proven right. Is he apologizing repeatedly on hands and knees?