Okay...I have no social skills...I'll be the one to do it...

I believe that some of it may not have been about age but about feeling like we don't deserve the best because we blame ourselves for being obese.  I'm 40, have 3 children and a husband, and there's still a part of me that thinks "do I have the right to spend so much money when I could have done things differently in my life to not be here".  Logically, I know that I'm pre-disposed to this because of the morbid obesity that runs in my family and that I'm not 100% at fault, but after years of being looked down upon, ridiculed, harrassed by the medical profession, etc. you begin to wonder if you're worth it.

It took seeing what could really happen (you never think it can really happen, at least not to you or anyone you know) to make me realize that even if I wonder if I'm worth it, I know that those who love me absolutely believe I'm worth it.  It took hearing my family say "go with your gut, let's look at other surgeons, take the time to look at the doctor not the price tag, and don't give up...save the money and do it right if you have to but don't do it wrong", and I had to really let my guard down and realize that people weren't criticising me, they were criticising my choice and there's a big difference between those two. 

This board, and the people on it, are a blessing and blessings come in all different sizes, shapes, and "social skills" and I know that I really appreciate all the guidance everyone gives, especially those that have been through all this and could easily just go on with their new life and never look back at those of us who are still trying to start our new life. 

Please, try not to carry any guilt with you, we ultimately responsible for the decisions we make, and remember that you have helped many, and will continue to help many, unfortunately you won't be able to help everyone.

I am a newbie to posting, not new to coming here reading and researching.  I can't tell you how many hours I spent doing that here (and many other places) before deciding on a life altering (and life-threatening) surgery.

I, for one, appreciate the honesty, straight-forwardness and no-nonsense information I get from the vets here.  That approach had a huge influence on my making the best choice of a surgeon.  It cost more than I wanted, I traveled farther than I wanted, I waited longer than I wanted....but I'm here! 

I don't want or need anyone blowing rose petals and rainbows up my ass.  I come here for accurate information and true-life experiences so I can make educated, informed decisions.  And when I look for and/or ask for advice, I will pay attention!

What it boils down to is all of you vets Pay It Forward....every time you post.  Even if you can't save us all, you might have saved me; and countless others.  And the words "thank you" are not enough.  Keep giving it straight....I'm listening!!

Susan

I wish I would have listened to you when you were the most hated person on the lap band board!!!

You were telling it straight back then, but none of us wanted to believe you.

Turns out you were DEAD right.

I DID listen!

I was researching the band because it was less invasive,, blah, blah, blah. I couldn't understand why people were so vicious to this woman for simply telling her story and quoting research.

My curiosity piqued, I followed the link in her signature to HERE and the rest is history.

She takes a lot of crap (and throws it right back), but I may not have discovered the DS without her.

Thank you, Sue!

LOL, Phyl...but rest assured, any time I'm feeling not quite hated enough, I know where the LapBand board is!

I just wanted to thank you vets who always take the time to warn and advise newbies and preops when they are screwing up, or in danger of screwing up. No matter HOW it is presented, the information is valuable and it should be remembered that you are VOLUNTEERING your time to do it. I believe the vast majority of people on this board appreciate it. I personally prefer the more blunt style...it makes me sit up and pay attention! Keep up the good work, whatever your style, and as someone said above, you can't save everyone. Sometimes, people already have their mind made up and won't listen. I am extremely sad about Stephanie, even shed some tears over her, but ultimately, she made her own INFORMED decision. I'm sure you tried your hardest.

Karen

I agree and also want to thank the vets! Sometimes we all make bad decisions and this one was a bad one, so sorry but it is not the vets fault that they were not listened to. For us that have upcoming surgeries this is scary but I have faith that I have been here long enough and have listened and that I have chosen a great surgeon.
    Please let any guilt of feeling of responsibility go, you did a great job letting all new members know the right way and some for whatever reason chose not to listen, not your fault at all!

I warned a newbie about Barker...never heard from her again.  He was close to her home...a real reason for making that decision.  Sometimes people just won't listen.  I have no idea if she even had the surgery...I don't think she posts anymore.  So you see it can happen to any one of us.

Sue, you did all you could.  Try to let it go.  It is a sad, sad situation and I understand how you feel.  But you have to let it go.

Betty

Was I the newbie? If so, I don't remember - but I started out with Barker and switched to Stewart. So, if indeed it was me, I did listen. =)

Would you please do me a favor and go to:

My OH--->My Journey--->Surgeries

and input your surgeon's name.

Thank you kindly!