Were you scared and how did you deal with it?

kramer5
on 8/14/11 9:00 am - Washington, KS
As some of you may know, because I've already asked some questions, I currently have the lap-band (waste of time, money, & tears) and I'm considering getting the DS.

My question is:  Were you scared and how did you deal with it?

I've had plenty of surgeries so I know what to expect as far as before, during, after but for some reason I'm really nervous and scared about this one.  I wasn't this scared for my lap-band and I went to Mexico for that one which you would think would make me more nervous than the surgeries I've had in the States (which I have no issues going to Mexico as I felt they did a fine job and I have no complaints with that, just that the band sucks for me). 

I considered the lap-band to be elective, I was 235 and had dieted my way down to 175 the year before I put it all back on within 4-6 months.  This time I feel like it's less elective and more life-saving.  I'm 293 lbs at 5'4", my mother died last January due to complications from being over 400 lbs, my grandfather died this January and although he technically died of cancer he was over 350 lbs and had Type II diabetes and then in May of this year I lost my grandmother due to heart issues from a lifetime of obesity though she had lost a lot of weight before her death she had been too large for too long and the damage was done.

I don't know if it's because there has been so much death in my life in the last 18 months and that's why I'm scared, but I know that I have to do this, I know that if I don't I'm headed down the same road and I want to be here for my family, but I worry that if something happens to me during surgery what have I accomplished for my family.  I can barely walk more than a few blocks without feeling out of breath, I barely leave my house anymore, and I hate what I've become.

Thanks for listening to the long rant and hopefully there will be some words of wisdom that can help me come to terms with what I know I have to do and calm my fears or at least help me understand my fears.

Dawn
Dawn
    
Elizabeth N.
on 8/14/11 9:19 am - Burlington County, NJ
Yup, I was scared. I was dying and out of choices. How did I handle it?

1. Therapy. LOTS of therapy.
2. Medication.
3. Obsessively learned about the DS.
4. Prepared a very detailed bunch of information about my wishes in case I were to become incapacitated and unable to make my own medical choices. Went so far as to plan my own funeral.
5. Lived on here.

Emily F.
on 8/14/11 9:32 am
Read everything I could. Research, research research. I went to Mexico for my ds and emailed Luz almost daily about the plans. When I got nervous about what is about to happen I remembered I was saving my life and I wanted to be able to take care of my young children and be around to see them grow up.
(deactivated member)
on 8/14/11 9:41 am - Yorktown, VA
Besides researching the hell out of the DS so I'd be prepared, I found denial to be effective.  :)

Seriously, I someone managed to research and prepare and attend MD appointments and such all the while not really thinking about the fact that I was actually going to have this surgery.  Then all of a sudden I'm there in the hospital and it's happening and, well, I likened it to closing my eyes, plugging my nose and jumping off the diving board!

When I did think about it, I also really focused on the fact that the entire OR staff was going to be there and that their undivided attention would be on me.....their sole objective would be to get me through surgery successfully.  There would be the surgeon, the assistant, the anesthesiologist, the nurses, etc......all working to ensure everything goes well.

I was also very confident in my surgeon and his skills.

It's normal to be nervous.   
(deactivated member)
on 8/14/11 3:16 pm
Yes I was scared.  No one faces major surgery without being afraid.  That said, I had no option, really.  I was looking at a life that had two options:  increasing disability and death ... or a chance to get my life back.

I had the DS ... no complications ... not even one day of regret.


kramer5
on 8/14/11 3:33 pm - Washington, KS
I've been praying for a sign on what I should do and then tonight I see that one of our members passed away after her surgery.  I realize that we don't know yet why, but it's really making me question my decision.  The main reason is because I was considering using a surgeon that is newer at the DS but that Dr. Ungson in Mexico helps assist with, but Dr. Ungson wouldn't be assisting with my surgery.

At first I thought that if Dr. Ungson had assisted him in the past that this would make him safer, but now I'm questioning that thought.  He's done close to 100 DSes with no complications (this is what I'm being told by his group or team or whatever you call them).  The surgeon is Dr. Alejandro Lopez and I believe his wife is also a surgeon.

I know that everyone has a lot of faith in Dr. Ungson and I wish I could go with him but unfortunately my father is paying for my surgery and it is out of his price range (he's about double what Dr. Lopez is).  What are your thoughts on using Dr. Lopez since he's been assisted by Dr. Ungson in the past?

I think that if you guys believe that this is not a wise choice then I'll be putting aside the DS choice for now.

Thanks,


Dawn
    
(deactivated member)
on 8/14/11 9:16 pm - Bayonne, NJ
I revised from my RNY and yes, as it got closer, I was scared. I baked Christmas cookies for everyone I knew so that my husband would have something to give to people. I ranted, *****ed, threw things and tried to get my mind off things as best as I could. I had the added agita of having a boss who was deliberately being a ******* about it & he was trying to make me cancel.  I also remember ging to the NYC Transit Museum as a diversion. I only had 10 days notice on surgery because of an insurance problem.

But I got through it, I knew it would be more difficult than the first time around & it was but it was worth it.
Van5150
on 8/14/11 10:43 pm
Scared - Yes, All my family by my bedside before I went in - Yes. Best decision I've ever made -Yes. A year and a half later I've lost over 130 lbs and life is great. I eat what I want - In much smaller portions.
        
(deactivated member)
on 8/14/11 11:11 pm
I am in the exact same boat as you.  I have a band and trying to switch to the DS.  I am terrified.

One thing though, I don't know anything about your surgeon but I recommend you do as much research as possible.  Search these boards for his name and feedback. 

Honestly I would only use a vetted surgeon.  If it was a choice of paying 3 times as much for a good surgeon I would do that.  If the choice was a non-vetted surgeon or nothing, I would choose nothing.   You can't put a price on your life.  Stephanie's passing was a real eye-opener for me.  I'm heartbroken to see a 26 year old go so quickly, but it tells me the following:

Pick your surgery first, then your doctor. 
Only choose a vetted doctor
Research that doctor incessantly
This is a very serious and potentially dangerous surgical procedure that cannot be entered into without every piece of information out there.  And even that sometimes is not enough.

I pray that God leads you to the right decision for you.  One thing, if he's speaking you have to listen. 

Best of luck to you....
Panda ..
on 8/15/11 3:14 am
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