PIG CANDY IS BETTER THAN SEX!
(deactivated member)
on 8/9/11 11:28 am - OH
on 8/9/11 11:28 am - OH
I never heard of pig candy before I found this forum. Do you buy it or make it yourself?
It's very complicated. I will explain. Listen carefully and take notes.
1. Buy a package of real, non low fat, non turkey, thick sliced bacon. Do not skimp on fat or pig or thickness.
2. Buy a package of real brown sugar. Not Splenda or other imposter crap.
3. Find your broiler pan. This might take a couple days. If such is the case, improvise or go buy a new one.
4. Line the bottom of the broiler pan with foil. Very important. Do not skimp, for pig and brown sugar make super glue studded with diamonds on the bottom of the broiler pan. Three guesses how I know this. I suspect the dog chipped a tooth while trying to clean up after me.
5. Place the bacon slices nice and flat on the top part of the broiler pan. Do not overlap or they will feel cheated of their brown sugar and pout.
6. Drop mass globs of brown sugar all over the bacon. Press into the bacon like they are having foreplay. Remember, this is to be better than sex, so make it good for the ingredients. Do not skimp on brown sugar. LOTS AND LOTS of brown sugar.
7. If you must, sprinkle some cayenne in there somewhere. Meh. I'll try that and let you know if it's an improvement. Sounds like a sex toy to me.
8. Place in the oven at around 350 and bake till nice and brown and dripping with goo. DO NOT OVERBAKE.
9. Allow to cool a moment or three on the pan, but not too long or you will need a chisel to get it off.
10. Remove to a serving dish or, preferably, directly to your mouth.
****** TIME.
1. Buy a package of real, non low fat, non turkey, thick sliced bacon. Do not skimp on fat or pig or thickness.
2. Buy a package of real brown sugar. Not Splenda or other imposter crap.
3. Find your broiler pan. This might take a couple days. If such is the case, improvise or go buy a new one.
4. Line the bottom of the broiler pan with foil. Very important. Do not skimp, for pig and brown sugar make super glue studded with diamonds on the bottom of the broiler pan. Three guesses how I know this. I suspect the dog chipped a tooth while trying to clean up after me.
5. Place the bacon slices nice and flat on the top part of the broiler pan. Do not overlap or they will feel cheated of their brown sugar and pout.
6. Drop mass globs of brown sugar all over the bacon. Press into the bacon like they are having foreplay. Remember, this is to be better than sex, so make it good for the ingredients. Do not skimp on brown sugar. LOTS AND LOTS of brown sugar.
7. If you must, sprinkle some cayenne in there somewhere. Meh. I'll try that and let you know if it's an improvement. Sounds like a sex toy to me.
8. Place in the oven at around 350 and bake till nice and brown and dripping with goo. DO NOT OVERBAKE.
9. Allow to cool a moment or three on the pan, but not too long or you will need a chisel to get it off.
10. Remove to a serving dish or, preferably, directly to your mouth.
****** TIME.
(deactivated member)
on 8/9/11 2:22 pm - OH
on 8/9/11 2:22 pm - OH
LOL....you crack me up!!!!! I think you should write a cookbook :) My house is going to smell like pig tomorrow!
OMG, I am so bookmarking this for when I get to goal and can ease up and have some sugar again... My & DH's fav was bacon wrapped medjool dates.. wrap good bacon around it, bake till crispy.. oh, sweet bacon-y goodness. It was like crack.
That and my fav app that everyone scarfs- cream cheese stuffed jalapenos wrapped in bacon.. see a trend? People would try to eat them while they were still lava hot..
http://thepioneerwoman.com/cooking/2007/07/bacon-wrapped_j/
That and my fav app that everyone scarfs- cream cheese stuffed jalapenos wrapped in bacon.. see a trend? People would try to eat them while they were still lava hot..
http://thepioneerwoman.com/cooking/2007/07/bacon-wrapped_j/
(deactivated member)
on 8/9/11 2:49 pm - OH
on 8/9/11 2:49 pm - OH
Try mixing an entire bag of shredded cheddar cheese, 1 package of softened cream cheese, a bit of brown sugar, garlic powder, and onion powder....then stuff and wrap in bacon. They are SOOO good!!!!
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