Dating

So I signed up for Eharmony.  I'm really scared to start dating again.  I have not dated in 6 years.  After my divorce I had gain so much weight.  I was not happy with myself how would anyone else.  Well now that I'm 84 lbs lighter I think I am ready to start dating.  I'm just really scared do I tell them I had WLS?  What happens when we get closer?  I look like I'm melting..  I have my two teenage daughter helping me. They really want me to find someone..

 

Just take it nice and easy.  You will tell someone whatever you are ready to tell them,  when you feel it's the right time.  You don't need to decide anything ahead of time.  Just try to have a good time,  enjoy the dating,  and don't constantly thinking about "finding someone" - it will happen when it will happen.

I met my husband after my DS.

You need to head over to the Singles board.  Lots of good advice and good people.

I will check out the singles board.  I did not know about it..  Thank you

At the age of 20 I went from a size 28 to a size 2.  I can tell you that I looked way worse than anyone who had ever had a baby (I'm 36 now with 2 kids).  I remember being a bit apprehensive when I first started dating because I could only imagine the horror when a 25 year-old guy sees my body.  But to my surprise, no one cared.  In the beginning, I warned them, "I've lost about 140 pounds, My body isn't exactly that of a 20 year-old."  But I found that the guys were more impressed with how sexual I was, how sexy I made myself FEEL.  They didn't mind the extra skin. I always wore beautiful panties and bras and I really FELT sexy.  So the boyfriends I had in my 20's were awesome and really didn't care. I think it's about how you feel, what you are projecting, that makes the difference. If you go out there dating and feel shlumpy or unsexy, a man will notice. But if you feel great about yourself (just pretend and soon it will be true!) then they'll feel the same way.  Don't worry about telling them about the surgery.  If you feel comfortable, then tell them.  Otherwise, you can tell them you'd lost weight, like I did. 

Now, my suggestion, go to Victoria's Secret and buy yourself a beautiful bra and panties--wear it around even if you're not on a date.  You'll see that you feel great, just knowing what you're wearing and that you can actually fine it in your SIZE now!!!  (and don't worry about sagging boobies.  As a 20 year old, I'd lost all of my boobs and was a very saggy size A--went from a C to an A.  NO one cared.)

Enjoy yourself.  You deserve it! Congratulations on your success!

Sheri

Thank you so much I will go out and buy some...

Hi Wendy :) 

I work for Match.com and I can tell you from my experience that MANY MANY MANY people on online dating websites have had WLS.  I wouldn't be at all surprised if you run into a few guys who have also had WLS.  Online dating is the new standard, it's nothing to be shy or timid about- just smart and logical.  Match.com owns a website called www.BBPeopleMeet.com which is our Big and Beautiful website.  A lot of people on there are people who have had WLS, or just like bigger gals in general, so they wouldn't be judgemental. 

I'm absolutely not "plugging" any websites I work for, lol- I don't get commission or anything on sign ups, I wouldn't even know if you did, but I just wanted to give you my opinion as someone from the industry.  Eharmony is a great website too and does things a bit differently than Match.com or BBPeopleMeet.  No matter what website you try, confidence is KEY!  And you know what?  If you do meet a guy who is bothered by anything to do with your WLS, then clearly they aren't the guy for you and you can move on to the next guy :)  Each wrong guy is one guy closer to finding the right guy (or gal)! :) 

Someone who loves you won't care about your body's imperfections.

You are not even a year out from surgery so it is in the forefront of your mind. As time goes on, it won't seem like so much of an issue to you. You'll eat normally, just smaller portions and more protein. It's not even worth mentioning.

The time to tell someone is when the relationship starts to get serious.

Best wishes and good luck!

I say JUMP and just have fun. How long as it been sense you have just had fun, we have all been so worried about what other's will think or not having enough energy to do anything. You now have a new lease on life, a wonderful tool that has changed YOU and your life, embrace the wonderful and BEAUTIFUL person you are. I agree with Sheri, if you love yourself, other's will see this. And when women see it they give you the evil look, Ha, Ha, Ha. Just enjoy life, you have been hiding for way to long, enjoy..
AND keep us updated on this. Just enjoy.

Good luck with the dating.  I'm almost at that point myself I just want to make sure I'm completely ready before I jump back into the dating pool.  hope you dont have to kiss too many frogs before you find your one. just take it one date at a time and have a great time.  good luck