surgery date yay, told my best friend finally sigh

august 15ht im so happy and excited!

i decided to tell my best friend now that it s officla and she flipped out on me, saying i have no discipline and she doesn't believe i can do it and wouldn't listen to me. i told heer everything i've been going through tests ive taken, support groups, et cet and she just shrugged it all away and yelled a lot. i told her i have very supportive people and she called them a cult.

sigh


i understand that relationships change after this but i would think my soulmate best friend would be a bit less harsh. i just let her yell at me to get it out of her system hopefully and over her shock. she then proceeded to email me 'unbiased ds facts' which were nothing any dser doesn't know already then said something nasty in oneo f the emails - 'you're gonna smell like diarrhea forever-awesome! - or something like that.

have you guys gone through this too?

I am just starting the process for the DS.  One of my oldest and dearest friends reacted the same way.  It hurt my feeling.  I thought she (who is also SMO) would be as excited as I am..  After thinking about her reaction I see that she is a fearful person.  She is afraid of what she sees in herself and her own lack of confidence.  I choose to move past her opinion and share my journey with my friends who applaud my choice and cheer me on.  Good luck with your surgery. 

My sisters are both against me having a weight loss surgery.  They think I can do it without a surgery.  Even though I am 28 and have been overweight since I was 8 and have yo yoed my entire life.  Constantly dieting.  My one sister said I was being a bad mother and that my daughter was going to wind up being anerexic from seeing her mother always eat so little.  I just have shown them the information and while they still may not understand or agree.  I know I am doing the right thing.  They will come around or they wont.. I have to do what I feel is right for me .  Telling people is hard.  I have just starting telling people outside the family.  For the most part I feel as though it is no ones business. 

Ummmm, how much does your friend weigh?
Because I can think of a really quick way for you to lose quite a bit of weight right now.

It's a shame she's being such a tool.  Oh, and she absolutely has no right to be yelling at you over your well researched and informed decision regarding your health.

STEP AWAY FROM THE CRUMMY FRIENDS! :)

If people are rude enough to call you undisciplined, then they're not worth having as friends.

Your life is about to change - they don't like that.  Their loss.

I'm sorry your friend acted is such a hurtful way.
      It sounds to me like you've given your decision lots of careful thought, that you have done your research and know the pros and cons. Those of us who have been overweight or MO most of our lives understand you. We also understand that you have already tried your utmost, probably more than once, to lose and keep off weight and it just isn't working. 
      Maybe your friend is just afraid for you. Maybe she's afraid for herself in some way, I don't know. I do know that some people come around and some don't, and that yes, some relationships do change, sometimes for the better, sometimes for the worse, and some relationships even end.
      I hope you will not let this cause you to be less happy and excited. And I hope if this ever happens again, you won't feel you just have to let someone yell at you to get it out of her system. You deserve better.

Larra

It's really very simple in the end.  People who care for you take the time and effort to tell you how they feel without being harsh or yelling.  It's really just a choice and not that difficult at that.  I'm sorry to say, but chances are, I'm guessing 2 - 3 years from now, you may find that you aren't friends . . . and it may even be for the best for you.

My best friend at the time threatened to break off our friendship if I went ahead with it, which I told her was a decision she was going to have to make b/c mine - the decision of how to manage my health long-term, MY body - was a choice that I had already made.  We aren't friends anymore - that doesn't happen to everyone, but some of us.  It's usually in relationships where didn't realize how much we were the tag along person.  As you grow thinner and gain confidence, it changes the dynamics of the relationship.

thanks i'm giving her the benefit of the doubt. i know shes scared and she is a blunt person although i don't think she should be so belittling, she was trying to guilt me and insulted me. i am hoping she will come around. im not discussing it with her anymore after yesterday though and hope she'll at least apologize for her behavior.
if she cant get past it im just not going to speak to her for a while.
im taking this all in stride and not lashing out at her but theres only so much ill take

she jsut wouldn't listen to me at all when i tried to explain anyhting to her, but i stayed calm and tried to be reassuring. if this breaks us up it will indeed be very sad but it would be because of her doing,

 Wow, your "best friend" sucks...  Go ahead and do yourself a favor and lose some weight NOW, drop her like a bad habit.  You don't need that toxicity in your life.  

Congrats on your date!

First a huge congrats on your date!

Second this "friend" of yours is obviously use to being the dominant one in the relationship and wants to continue to be that. She must think she will lose control of your many insecurities and low self-esteem that weight issues may bring upon obese people. I agree with so many people on this board. Drop some weight now, prior to the DS. Up until your date I could see her trying to sabotage your decision to have weight loss surgery. She's already on the rampage by sending  you information that you already know about the DS. Stand your ground and continue to fight for your life, literally!

Good luck with everything,

Nika