2 years...really? REALLY?
It's really mind boggling how quickly everything can normalize. I go about my life day to day as if nothing about me is different, or changed. Things don't strike me as amazing anymore, I don't look toward goals, or think about how I used to not be able to do this! I just buy clothes, eat at restaurants, and have fun with my family like any normal person. I know people who don't know I had surgery, I don't feel compelled to tell them unless they see pictures of me, I'm forthcoming with the information it's just...not important day to day.
That is until I try to get into a concert with my ID (which doesn't expire for another few years as I renewed it RIGHT BEFORE surgery) and the guy brings me inside, makes me take off my sunglasses, and scrutinizes every detail of the thing. Concedes only after a little bit that "It's you, you can tell around the eyes...but boy is it a different you."
At this point there isn't much new to tell: I lost over 220lbs, I hit goal, I wear a size 12 pants and a size 6 top (It was the same when I was heavier, I wore a size 26/28 top and a size 38 pants). I'm currently 5 months pregnant - I get to find out if it's our fourth girl or a boy on the 29th, all my labs are spectacular. I eat what I want, it's kind of like a fun hobby, as my nutritional needs are largely addressed by the protein shakes and vites I take. I never have gas or loose stool that I either 1. can't predict or mitigate and 2. is so bad it'd make me stop eating half a lemon poppy seed muffin with my coffee in the morning. I'm pretty reactive to milk, my stomach gets gurly, but I buy darigold 100 percent lactose free and am back on the fruit loops for dessert trolly. I can eat salad, chicken breast, white rice, pasta, sugar, basically (and this is what my surgeon promised me with this surgery) what I WANT like an adult who is allowed to make food choices for herself.
I am enjoying being pregnant this fourth time around, It's like getting to experience pregnancy fully for the first time. Every previous pregnancy I was 300+ pounds (All of them were spectacularly healthy, there is no reason a heavy gal can't be perfectly fine while pregnant). People comment on the fact that I am pregnant, Older ladies have started to try to touch me, I get to buy maternity clothing: Funny aside here, all my Small and Medium tops were starting to fit tight across my stomach or rolling up so I went to get maternity clothing. Well since Small and Medium in my regular clothes hadn't been fitting correctly for some time I pulled Large in Maternity. Silly me; they fit like tents! I had forgotten my size. So, I went and pulled some Small maternity tops, and LO they fit like magic again!!
I mean all in all this surgery gave me the ability to feel on the outside like I did on the inside. I feel more like myself than I ever have in my life. I feel free to express myself more with fashion; even if it's because there is simply more available in my size, I feel more able to get out and be with my kids. I have more energy, I keep a cleaner house (I think before I was tired and didn't know it, I thought I cleaned, I thought I was pretty on top of things but man, you should see my home now). I'm just ME now, everything is right and people see me for who I am, or at least I do when I look in a mirror.
And now the requisite pictures:
This was snapped by my now 7 year old when I was pregnant with my now 2 year old, not that you can tell I'm pregnant at 450+ lbs:
This is me this morning:
Edit: Man, I even KNOW the HTML code for posting pictures and OH makes it damn near impossible!
That is until I try to get into a concert with my ID (which doesn't expire for another few years as I renewed it RIGHT BEFORE surgery) and the guy brings me inside, makes me take off my sunglasses, and scrutinizes every detail of the thing. Concedes only after a little bit that "It's you, you can tell around the eyes...but boy is it a different you."
At this point there isn't much new to tell: I lost over 220lbs, I hit goal, I wear a size 12 pants and a size 6 top (It was the same when I was heavier, I wore a size 26/28 top and a size 38 pants). I'm currently 5 months pregnant - I get to find out if it's our fourth girl or a boy on the 29th, all my labs are spectacular. I eat what I want, it's kind of like a fun hobby, as my nutritional needs are largely addressed by the protein shakes and vites I take. I never have gas or loose stool that I either 1. can't predict or mitigate and 2. is so bad it'd make me stop eating half a lemon poppy seed muffin with my coffee in the morning. I'm pretty reactive to milk, my stomach gets gurly, but I buy darigold 100 percent lactose free and am back on the fruit loops for dessert trolly. I can eat salad, chicken breast, white rice, pasta, sugar, basically (and this is what my surgeon promised me with this surgery) what I WANT like an adult who is allowed to make food choices for herself.
I am enjoying being pregnant this fourth time around, It's like getting to experience pregnancy fully for the first time. Every previous pregnancy I was 300+ pounds (All of them were spectacularly healthy, there is no reason a heavy gal can't be perfectly fine while pregnant). People comment on the fact that I am pregnant, Older ladies have started to try to touch me, I get to buy maternity clothing: Funny aside here, all my Small and Medium tops were starting to fit tight across my stomach or rolling up so I went to get maternity clothing. Well since Small and Medium in my regular clothes hadn't been fitting correctly for some time I pulled Large in Maternity. Silly me; they fit like tents! I had forgotten my size. So, I went and pulled some Small maternity tops, and LO they fit like magic again!!
I mean all in all this surgery gave me the ability to feel on the outside like I did on the inside. I feel more like myself than I ever have in my life. I feel free to express myself more with fashion; even if it's because there is simply more available in my size, I feel more able to get out and be with my kids. I have more energy, I keep a cleaner house (I think before I was tired and didn't know it, I thought I cleaned, I thought I was pretty on top of things but man, you should see my home now). I'm just ME now, everything is right and people see me for who I am, or at least I do when I look in a mirror.
And now the requisite pictures:
This was snapped by my now 7 year old when I was pregnant with my now 2 year old, not that you can tell I'm pregnant at 450+ lbs:
This is me this morning:
Edit: Man, I even KNOW the HTML code for posting pictures and OH makes it damn near impossible!
HW/ SW/ CW/ GW
453/380/160/165I'm pretty sure bacon tastes as good as thin feels!
*Feel free to call me "Pen" or "Nic" I'll even answer to "hey you" *
you may need to hit F5 for hard refre**** took me three tries at coding to put them up because when I right clicked to paste I could not get the dialoge box for pasting in the code. OH sure is contentious about posting pics!
HW/ SW/ CW/ GW
453/380/160/165I'm pretty sure bacon tastes as good as thin feels!
*Feel free to call me "Pen" or "Nic" I'll even answer to "hey you" *
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