Banana Hammock vs Speedo

I purchased some new shorts, since all of my clothes were falling off, and I couldn't believe it, in less than 6 months time, I went from a size 48 to a size 34 pants.  

I need to spend some more time in the gym to firm up my gut so I can look good while strolling the French Rivera beaches.  

I really need some advice from the women, should I go with the skimpy speedo or a banana hammock.  

What's a banana hammock and why do I feel as if I should know what it is??

and why do I feel as if I should know what it is??

Because you are super smart.  

Now back to the question........ which one should it be.  

According to urban dictionary... banana hammock and speedo are the same thing... so how about NEITHER

Are you allowed to go naked on the French Rivera beaches? 

I normally think of Banana Hammock as a male thong or even worse this:

It wouldn't be so bad if he wasn't so hairy

Well, have you ever seen a raccoon in a speedo before.   We are much hairy that that dude.

well then.. maybe a wet suit would be more appropriate?

 Like John Mayer?

definately do-able