Some of you newbies and DS wannabes **** me off. LONG rant about life and death here.
I have a RANT about some of you newbies about the seriousness of the DS and frankly, ANY weight loss surgery. Beware, I am pissed. 
Recently, this board has been inundated with posts from some newbies asking the same inane questions over and over again AND people freshly out of surgery saying things like "I am five minutes out of my DS and I ate a HUGE pizza (hamburger, onions, Doritos, etc.) --why does my stomach hurt/why do I have diarrhea/why can't I get my protein in?"
It seems like people are not taking this surgery very seriously. In the three years since I joined OH, the DS has become easier to get, maybe TOO easy. Its awesome power and attendant awesome responsibility have been lost in translation. Maybe our "pay it forward" mentality has backfired because it seems like almost any asshole can get the DS now. THIS IS NOT A GAME.
I bring this up because this week, it will be the first anniversary of the DS surgery of one of our DS forum members, a lovely man named Norm, who I had the pleasure to know in real life, too. Below is my post about his passing, two weeks after his DS, from a heart attack. His death shook me to my core and made me appreciate my uneventful surgery and recovery even more.
People who come here expect to have the forum members spoon-feed them info **** me off.
If any of you time-sucking, emotion-wasting people are TROLLS, just trying to jerk our chains, you should be ashamed of yourselves. Go away. We don't have time for you and your crap.
When I read a post from someone who is annoyed that the DS is NOT a free ride that allows them to eat anything they want, do anything they want, it makes me pissed!!!
I want to go back in time and give THEIR uneventful DS to Norm, a good guy who never once *****ed or whined, even at the end of his life.
Had Norm lived, I know he would have been a compliant patient. He impressed us all with his willingness to seek and listen to advice here. He was extremely compliant in the pre-op and early post-op days and weeks. He was grateful for this second chance at life. He would gladly take YOUR chance that you are ******g up by being non-compliant. And if I could GIVE him YOUR chance at a new life, I sure the hell would. Honestly.
So here is what I ask of you, newbies:
1) Do NOT get this surgery if you are an asshole who cannot follow simple directions from your surgeon. And your surgeon HAS given you directions--don't bull**** us. Many of them, include Dr. K, posts it on their websites for all to see. Rabkin gives you a book. Take your vitamins, eat what you're supposed to eat, get your labs drawn, adjust your vites as needed, drink your fluids. It's simple, really.
2) Do NOT ask for advice here from people if you do not want advice. Don't ***** if the advice you get is not delivered in a touchy-feely way--you asked for it by posting. Stop lecturing people about how they offer their help to you. SHUT UP AND BE GRATEFUL that anyone gives a **** about you to drop whatever important things they are doing--making a living, diapering their baby, making dinner, scratching their asses--and offer your sorry ass advice. Or, don't post here. I'm sure there is a nice "Hello Kitty" site for you to visit. This site is for serious people who want to save their lives.
3) This surgery is life and death. If you are unwilling or too dumb to realize that, keep moving. Go to Jenny Craig or Weigh****chers--you won't die from ******g that up. You won't lose weight and keep it off, but you were going to screw up your DS, anyway. But don't make any of us have to witness or mourn your "death from stupidity." It's bad enough mourning the hard-working innocents like Norm without having to mourn the death of a foolish person.
4) Spend WEEKS, if you have to, reading old posts in this forum BEFORE you post. Many of the hundreds of questions you have are already posted here, again and again. Put a little time into research before you post your first question--you will sound better informed and demonstrate a willingness to participate in your own care, unlike a lot of the newbies here today (you hear me, inky-dinky doo-doo?). If you are unwilling to spend some time and look through months of posts on this board OR even call your surgeon's office, you are NOT equipped to have the DS, or even a LapBand.
5) Get a therapist in your corner. Seriously, it would be a big help to you if you could have a person in real life to talk to about your personal issues on this journey. Most of us are not qualified on this site to talk to you about WHY you are obese or what you can do about it. We can share our personal experiences and tell you how the DS works, but that's about it. If you need more than that, get a therapist who specializes in obesity, bariatrics, self esteem, eating disorders, sexual abuse, chemical dependence, marital issues, whatever you need. Just get REAL help from trained professionals, not from well-meaning people here who don't know you even a little bit.
Am I bitter and sad about Norm? Hell, yeah. Don't like it? Then move on. Norm's death occasionally hits me like a ton of bricks and I cry. I keep him on my "friends" list and in my photos here on OH, so that I do not forget how brave and kind he was and how goddam lucky I am today. I will never forget him and I don't want you to, either.
Weight loss surgery is a BIG deal. You can die from it. You can also die from non-compliance. You can also irritate everyone on this board SOOOO much that no one, even the semi-softies like me, will bother to help you when you need it.
In honor of Norm, and others who have died after trying valiantly to save their lives via WLS, please think carefully about what you are doing, saying, eating and whining. They literally gave their lives to have the chance YOU are currently blowing all to hell.
Nicolle
----------------------------------------------
From my OH post when Norm died:
I am so deeply heartsick. Our friend and my Angelette, NormR, passed away this morning in San Francisco. He had his DS just under two weeks ago with John Rabkin.
As many of you may know, Norm was having a more-than-normal rough time post-op and had been re-admitted to the hospital. I spoke with him many times both pre- and post-op and knew that he was not having an easy recovery.
Norm had his first heart attack at around 40 years of age and had a multiple heart bypass a few years ago. Apparently his heart gave out early this morning and died in the hospital. I know very few details at this point, but will share them as I find out more.
Recently, this board has been inundated with posts from some newbies asking the same inane questions over and over again AND people freshly out of surgery saying things like "I am five minutes out of my DS and I ate a HUGE pizza (hamburger, onions, Doritos, etc.) --why does my stomach hurt/why do I have diarrhea/why can't I get my protein in?"
It seems like people are not taking this surgery very seriously. In the three years since I joined OH, the DS has become easier to get, maybe TOO easy. Its awesome power and attendant awesome responsibility have been lost in translation. Maybe our "pay it forward" mentality has backfired because it seems like almost any asshole can get the DS now. THIS IS NOT A GAME.
I bring this up because this week, it will be the first anniversary of the DS surgery of one of our DS forum members, a lovely man named Norm, who I had the pleasure to know in real life, too. Below is my post about his passing, two weeks after his DS, from a heart attack. His death shook me to my core and made me appreciate my uneventful surgery and recovery even more.
People who come here expect to have the forum members spoon-feed them info **** me off.
If any of you time-sucking, emotion-wasting people are TROLLS, just trying to jerk our chains, you should be ashamed of yourselves. Go away. We don't have time for you and your crap.
When I read a post from someone who is annoyed that the DS is NOT a free ride that allows them to eat anything they want, do anything they want, it makes me pissed!!!
I want to go back in time and give THEIR uneventful DS to Norm, a good guy who never once *****ed or whined, even at the end of his life.
Had Norm lived, I know he would have been a compliant patient. He impressed us all with his willingness to seek and listen to advice here. He was extremely compliant in the pre-op and early post-op days and weeks. He was grateful for this second chance at life. He would gladly take YOUR chance that you are ******g up by being non-compliant. And if I could GIVE him YOUR chance at a new life, I sure the hell would. Honestly.
So here is what I ask of you, newbies:
1) Do NOT get this surgery if you are an asshole who cannot follow simple directions from your surgeon. And your surgeon HAS given you directions--don't bull**** us. Many of them, include Dr. K, posts it on their websites for all to see. Rabkin gives you a book. Take your vitamins, eat what you're supposed to eat, get your labs drawn, adjust your vites as needed, drink your fluids. It's simple, really.
2) Do NOT ask for advice here from people if you do not want advice. Don't ***** if the advice you get is not delivered in a touchy-feely way--you asked for it by posting. Stop lecturing people about how they offer their help to you. SHUT UP AND BE GRATEFUL that anyone gives a **** about you to drop whatever important things they are doing--making a living, diapering their baby, making dinner, scratching their asses--and offer your sorry ass advice. Or, don't post here. I'm sure there is a nice "Hello Kitty" site for you to visit. This site is for serious people who want to save their lives.
3) This surgery is life and death. If you are unwilling or too dumb to realize that, keep moving. Go to Jenny Craig or Weigh****chers--you won't die from ******g that up. You won't lose weight and keep it off, but you were going to screw up your DS, anyway. But don't make any of us have to witness or mourn your "death from stupidity." It's bad enough mourning the hard-working innocents like Norm without having to mourn the death of a foolish person.
4) Spend WEEKS, if you have to, reading old posts in this forum BEFORE you post. Many of the hundreds of questions you have are already posted here, again and again. Put a little time into research before you post your first question--you will sound better informed and demonstrate a willingness to participate in your own care, unlike a lot of the newbies here today (you hear me, inky-dinky doo-doo?). If you are unwilling to spend some time and look through months of posts on this board OR even call your surgeon's office, you are NOT equipped to have the DS, or even a LapBand.
5) Get a therapist in your corner. Seriously, it would be a big help to you if you could have a person in real life to talk to about your personal issues on this journey. Most of us are not qualified on this site to talk to you about WHY you are obese or what you can do about it. We can share our personal experiences and tell you how the DS works, but that's about it. If you need more than that, get a therapist who specializes in obesity, bariatrics, self esteem, eating disorders, sexual abuse, chemical dependence, marital issues, whatever you need. Just get REAL help from trained professionals, not from well-meaning people here who don't know you even a little bit.
Am I bitter and sad about Norm? Hell, yeah. Don't like it? Then move on. Norm's death occasionally hits me like a ton of bricks and I cry. I keep him on my "friends" list and in my photos here on OH, so that I do not forget how brave and kind he was and how goddam lucky I am today. I will never forget him and I don't want you to, either.
Weight loss surgery is a BIG deal. You can die from it. You can also die from non-compliance. You can also irritate everyone on this board SOOOO much that no one, even the semi-softies like me, will bother to help you when you need it.
In honor of Norm, and others who have died after trying valiantly to save their lives via WLS, please think carefully about what you are doing, saying, eating and whining. They literally gave their lives to have the chance YOU are currently blowing all to hell.
Nicolle
----------------------------------------------
From my OH post when Norm died:
I am so deeply heartsick. Our friend and my Angelette, NormR, passed away this morning in San Francisco. He had his DS just under two weeks ago with John Rabkin.
As many of you may know, Norm was having a more-than-normal rough time post-op and had been re-admitted to the hospital. I spoke with him many times both pre- and post-op and knew that he was not having an easy recovery.
Norm had his first heart attack at around 40 years of age and had a multiple heart bypass a few years ago. Apparently his heart gave out early this morning and died in the hospital. I know very few details at this point, but will share them as I find out more.
Members of the San Francisco support goup of Paclap (and some local folks here on OH) really stepped up and helped Norm in every way possible, from transportation to food runs to visits--many deep thanks to them for their kind spirits. Norm was alone in San Francisco and needed all the help he could get from these lovely people.
Norm was a soft-spoken lovely man. He was so excited about his healthy future. Honestly, I was lining up women for him to date afterwards, once he was healed. I couldn't believe I met such a nice man who was single that I wanted to "share" him with select, deserving women, I guess!
I never met anyone better prepared for having a major surgery, mentally and logistically. He was super-prepared and a very detail-oriented person. We talked for hours about what he would need to bring with him, send out there, have in his room, etc. He took a big chance with this surgery but he was doing it to try and save his life. He was acutely aware of the risks involved.
Please keep Norm and his family in your prayers and thoughts.
One last thing, Norm hated getting his picture taken. I talked him into posing with me at our July support group meeting, saying that this would be a "before" photo he would cherish later, when he was healthy and skinny.
His friends nicknamed him "Tiny" because of his size. We had all joked that they were going to have to think up a new name for him after his DS--maybe "Bones" or "Stud."
I am sorry I couldn't do more for you, Norm. I truly am grateful that I got to know you.
Love,
Nicolle
I had the kick-butt duodenal switch (DS)!
HW: 344 lbs CW: 150 lbs
Type 2 diabetes and sleep apnea GONE!
Nicole ... awesome post. Thanks for taking the time to write it out.
Maybe some will sink in ... although I'm sure some of it will not. I've started a thread something like this a few times and deleted it before posting it. I'm thinking we are screwed! The DS is becoming more popular because of it's results, yet like you said ... "Do NOT get this surgery if you are an asshole" Unfortunately there is not an asshole meter/detector the docs can use to find out before surgery in most cases.
We know most medical offices are disorganized and are just pushing papers along to meet requirements. Unless someone is a total loon then will pass through the psych consult etc.
I'm truly scared by posts I see here EVERY DAY! People that post and want to be convinced why they should have the DS like we are selling it for a profit or something! People that post speak like whatever the surgeons office said is the GOSPEL and there is no way they could be wrong. People who do NO reading or searching of the DS board to learn as much as they can PRIOR to asking questions.
Just my little local DS community has doubled in such a short time. My surgeon added a second DS surgeon to his team and they are cranking them out. People are LUCKY in the fact that they are being directed to a better surgical option, but I find those people who didn't PICK the surgery before the surgeon don't know half the crap they NEED to know to live with the DS for the rest of their life.
I don't know how all this is going to play out long term in our WLS world. It should be interesting. I'm just happy I have my DS and know what the hell is going on!
Cheers!
Tom
*Edited for spelling so I don't appear stupid :)
Maybe some will sink in ... although I'm sure some of it will not. I've started a thread something like this a few times and deleted it before posting it. I'm thinking we are screwed! The DS is becoming more popular because of it's results, yet like you said ... "Do NOT get this surgery if you are an asshole" Unfortunately there is not an asshole meter/detector the docs can use to find out before surgery in most cases.
We know most medical offices are disorganized and are just pushing papers along to meet requirements. Unless someone is a total loon then will pass through the psych consult etc.
I'm truly scared by posts I see here EVERY DAY! People that post and want to be convinced why they should have the DS like we are selling it for a profit or something! People that post speak like whatever the surgeons office said is the GOSPEL and there is no way they could be wrong. People who do NO reading or searching of the DS board to learn as much as they can PRIOR to asking questions.
Just my little local DS community has doubled in such a short time. My surgeon added a second DS surgeon to his team and they are cranking them out. People are LUCKY in the fact that they are being directed to a better surgical option, but I find those people who didn't PICK the surgery before the surgeon don't know half the crap they NEED to know to live with the DS for the rest of their life.
I don't know how all this is going to play out long term in our WLS world. It should be interesting. I'm just happy I have my DS and know what the hell is going on!
Cheers!
Tom
*Edited for spelling so I don't appear stupid :)
HW 341/SW 309/CW 169/GW 190 172 lb. loss with my DS - Subscribe to me on YouTube!
Plastics with Dr. Sauceda 1-11-11 Lower Body Lift, Thigh Lift, Upper Body Lift, Arm Lift and Male Breast Reduction
If you are a MALE and are interested in MALE PLASTICS AFTER WLS click to join our OH Group!
Who told you you know what the hell is going on??? I need to see thier credentials
~Shani~
I've been pudgy, chubby, thick, and now fat........Imma give thin a go round!!!
SW-262, size 18W, 5'6"
CW-168 1/15/2010
GW-162
94 Lbs down...6 more to go...changed goal to see Onderland for a hot second!
Sing with me-> I don't know much ... but I know I love you. lol. Actually I don't know **** since I can't even spell it right! lol. FIXED.
I'm happy to report you also KNOW what the hell is going on. Congratulations.
I'm happy to report you also KNOW what the hell is going on. Congratulations.
HW 341/SW 309/CW 169/GW 190 172 lb. loss with my DS - Subscribe to me on YouTube!
Plastics with Dr. Sauceda 1-11-11 Lower Body Lift, Thigh Lift, Upper Body Lift, Arm Lift and Male Breast Reduction
If you are a MALE and are interested in MALE PLASTICS AFTER WLS click to join our OH Group!
Nicolle,
I so agree about asking questions and being READY to face what is "handed" to you.
newbies need to understand that it is THEIR responsibility to KNOW what they are doing to their body and that it is NOT a free will eat what you want and still lose weight surgery.
Norm's death shows just how serious of a surgery it is.
Thank YOU for your post and for reminding us of our losses....as we lose when a person such as Norm (and several others that have passed away from this area) are gone.
May God be with Norm's family and YOU during this 1 yr anniversary of his passing.
HUGS!
I so agree about asking questions and being READY to face what is "handed" to you.
newbies need to understand that it is THEIR responsibility to KNOW what they are doing to their body and that it is NOT a free will eat what you want and still lose weight surgery.
Norm's death shows just how serious of a surgery it is.
Thank YOU for your post and for reminding us of our losses....as we lose when a person such as Norm (and several others that have passed away from this area) are gone.
May God be with Norm's family and YOU during this 1 yr anniversary of his passing.
HUGS!
SW 308/CW164/ GW 140
Nicolle,
Great post, I agree with you on every point.
My surgeon's office said they will not do the DS on stupid people, seriously, I heard it 2 weeks ago. Too bad more surgeons don't put the patients safety first.
Have a good day,
Lisa
Great post, I agree with you on every point.
My surgeon's office said they will not do the DS on stupid people, seriously, I heard it 2 weeks ago. Too bad more surgeons don't put the patients safety first.
Have a good day,
Lisa
Be the kind of woman that when your feet hit the floor each morning, the devil says "oh crap! she's up!
Yay Nicolle!! I have tried again and again to convey this message within posts, especially in regard to non-compliance on food and protein issues, and I hope that your post makes people sit up and take notice. I've had to stand toe to toe and argue with some of my doctors about what my DS needs are, and I could have never been able to effectively do this if I hadn't done TONS of research and listened to the advice of folks on here. Seriously, there should be a "DS IQ test" performed on all pre-ops!
Julie R - Ludington, Michigan
Duodenal Switch 08/09/06 - Dr. Paul Kemmeter, Grand Rapids, Michigan
HW: 282 - 5'4"
SW: 268
GW: 135
CW: 125
Duodenal Switch 08/09/06 - Dr. Paul Kemmeter, Grand Rapids, Michigan
HW: 282 - 5'4"
SW: 268
GW: 135
CW: 125
Thank you. I'm normally such a non-confrontational softie that I wouldn't dare post something like this, but I'm very glad you did.
I was talking to a friend the other day, and she said that what she predicted would happen to our board has happened: we're getting our share of stupid. Used to be that all the stupid got the RNY or LapBand because they didn't know to research further. Since we've been "paying it forward," we've made them aware of it. They just don't realize that they can kill themselves with it.
Newbies and preops who are reading this, please realize - giving this surgery to someone who is unprepared for it is like placing a loaded gun in a baby's hand. You have to follow the rules. They are simple, but NON-NEGOTIABLE. You can kill yourself with it if you don't follow those rules. You can do irrevocable damage to your heart and nervous system with protein malnutrition. If you can't do the research and follow the rules, you shouldn't have this surgery. Period.
I was talking to a friend the other day, and she said that what she predicted would happen to our board has happened: we're getting our share of stupid. Used to be that all the stupid got the RNY or LapBand because they didn't know to research further. Since we've been "paying it forward," we've made them aware of it. They just don't realize that they can kill themselves with it.
Newbies and preops who are reading this, please realize - giving this surgery to someone who is unprepared for it is like placing a loaded gun in a baby's hand. You have to follow the rules. They are simple, but NON-NEGOTIABLE. You can kill yourself with it if you don't follow those rules. You can do irrevocable damage to your heart and nervous system with protein malnutrition. If you can't do the research and follow the rules, you shouldn't have this surgery. Period.
sw:298/cw:152/no goal set
"Differences of habit and language are nothing at all if our aims are identical and our hearts are open." --J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire
"Differences of habit and language are nothing at all if our aims are identical and our hearts are open." --J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire
Most Active
Recent Topics
