I made a mistake, but you live and learn, had a no-no to eat last night and today

Keeping up with her crap will keep some vets sharp. Attention is always a good thing. The more hits to a thread, the more opportunities to pay it forward.

And hey, there's always hope that she, or one of the folks like her, will eventually "get" something that didn't hit home the first hundred times it was said.

A lot of onions will give me some interesting morning effects.  Limit yourself next time on those.  I'm not into deprivation, so a small piece of bread is okay in my book.  The rest sounds like good choices.

Hum, and one wonders why RNY didn't work for Karen . . . . .  sorry, just my opinion.  None of these surgeries mean we can continue our bad habits, we need to work with the surgery to be healthy. A normal weight does not mean we are healthy. I have known many that are not healthy yet have no weight issues. Please, no flaming. I am just saying what is on my mind, and ready what others say as well.

On May 30, 2009 at 8:11 AM Pacific Time, watrlvr wrote:
Hum, and one wonders why RNY didn't work for Karen . . . . .  sorry, just my opinion.


Believe me, you are not the only one with this opinion.

I think that some people need to be schooled in the methods of criticizing constructively. There is no need to be mean and rude in order to get your point across. This is an open forum where people come to gain information. Some rude person stated in thier reply that people concerned about the DS might get the wrong idea about the surgery from reading about Karens mistake. Well, to that I say this: Based soley on that rude persons reply, If I were new to this forum, I would turned off and scared to post anything out of worry that someone (you) might roast me!

That is not not tough love. Mean is mean, no matter how you try to cloak it. There is constructive criticism and destructive criticism. And I hope I speak for everyone when I say that one of those types of criticism is not welcome on this board.

Kristal

I totally agree! No need to bash someone  with such harsh words!

And some people -- for example, ones who have been a member of OH for less than a month, need to be schooled on the concept that Karen may have a LOOONG history here that they don't know about.  A history of inane posting, lack of the most basic self-control, posting about problems that are her own doing as if they were not, whining about her boyfriend's abusive behavior, his lack of support, repeatedly posting about not having the $4K program fee in a way that sounded like soliciting donations (and that the b/f had the $$ but wouldn't give it to her), ad nauseum, as well as frequently posting INCORRECT and MISLEADING "information" despite her years of "researching" the DS, such that many of the long-term members of this board have been cringing at the very thought of her (a) having the DS; (b) doing everything wrong; (c) posting about it as if this is what is to be expected; and (d) becoming an example of a DS "failure" that makes it harder for future patients to have access to the DS.

Karen is a kind, sweet and well-intentioned person -- but she seems to be thick as a brick about her own behavior and how it has contributed to where she is now and where she is likely to end up if she doesn't control herself.  She also posts A LOT -- and newbies who don't know the backstory are in danger of thinking she knows what she is doing and talking about, just because she has been a member of OH for a long time.  This couldn't be further from the truth.

I wish Karen nothing but the best, but expect the worst.  There is a general expectation and prediction among some of us on this board that she will find some way to screw up her DS, and sure as **** she is already exhibiting that behavior.  The best we can do is to warn the newbies that her experiences will NOT be normal or expected, because she seems bound and determined to fail.  She needs to get a grip RIGHT NOW, and the newbies need to know that her behavior is often irrational, no matter how well stated.

As for constructive criticism -- you assume too much.  You assume nobody ever said anything like this to her NICELY in the past.  They have.  It fell on deaf ears.  So they are saying it louder, not only for Karen's benefit, but also for the benefit of those newvbies who don't realize that this is a pattern of dysfunctional behavior that has a long history, and should not be considered normal.

Right on and well put!

I don't think it matters that I'm a "newbie." I actually think that  point is irrelevant.  What matters is that you might turn off other newbies with your condescending tone. It doesn't matter how much I don't know about Karen, I still think that there is a nice way and a not so nice way to respond to things.

"As for constructive criticism -- you assume too much.  You assume nobody ever said anything like this to her NICELY in the past."

Actually I don't think that at all. I feel as though most people here have been very nice and kind with thier posts. I was just speaking about that ONE person, not everyone at all. Don't take things too personal. It's not good for the heart....

Bye.