My thoughts about WLS and who should have (WARNING: Big Opinions You Might Not Like)

Julie-
I had an Aunt whom I loved very much.  She was kind, she was patient and she really loved me unconditionally.  It was suspected that she weighed over five hundred pounds when she died.  Obesity took my Aunt away from me when I was a child and left a hole in my heart.  Even today,  I cry a when I think of my Aunt and how she suffered.  Her health was bad and people were cruel to her.  I miss her so much.  The reality is obesity kills and obesity not only effects the one who is obese it also effects those who love them.  If someone had offered my Aunt this chance (WLS) back then -- she might have seen me grow up, graduate from college and marry.  But more important -- she might -- just might have regained her health and had a fabulous life.  We will never know. 

Preach your size (fat) acceptance to teenagers who are a size 12 and think they should be a size 0.  That is probably the only instance where it is appropriate.  But by all means leave the medical decisions to be made by the individual and their physician.  You can not possibly know what it is like to live in my body and you cannot possibly know how disease and prejudice ate at my soul a little bit everyday.

Red

OK.............. Well I guess I to am one of those people that you are referring too!!  I am ONLY 25 yrs. old. I am 5' 2" and I weigh around 275. I am a wife and a mother of a very energetic 3 yr old. I understand you are telling people to love themselves and everything but I think that we honestly trick ourselves into thinking that the way that we are living is ok (for sanity sake, you would be completely depressed all the time if you didn't trick yourself) ... I love me but I am not oblivious to reality. My weight is affecting every aspect of my life. I can barely function because of my weight. Just like everyone else my family has a history of obesity related health conditions. I have to watch my dad who is suffering from diabetes and now he is getting dialysis 3 times a week. I am scared to death that this could possibly be my future. I watch tv and see people that gain so much weight that they become immobile. That also scares me that could possibly be my future if I don't take control of my life. I understand what you said is just your opinion BUT I think it's not really fair to judge others just like you were once judged!! Everyone is different and I don't honestly see how someone with a massive weight problem is truly happy with themselves.

Wow. So, based on your opinion, I should've just stayed fat. Nevermind the fact that the same statistics that apply to your inability to lose the weight with diet and exercise are the same for me, it's okay for you to seek help, but not me. I had a BMI of 45 and growing. My mother is heavy, my grandma was heavy, my great-grandma was heavy. I could literally see the future of my fat life standing in front of me in their history of medical problems and I was not about to set myself up for that. According to my Dr. I added at least 10yrs to my life by having this surgery. So...your opinion vs. ten extra years with my daughters...I'm sure you can figure out which one I really give a **** about, right?

"I see so many people who have WLS while in the 200s (usually BMIs under 50) who do it because they feel "gross" or "disgusting" because they are fat". 

Julie,

Several people already replied to your post and I won't go over the same points again. I agree with you that there is a terrible prejudice regarding heavy people in the sense that  some people think that we are stupid, lazy, dirty, uglier and lack strenght of will. It is good that you try to empower heavy people to acknowledge that they are not inferior to anyone.  I have a problem with they way how you do it, because you are just telling people what they want to hear, and therefore leading them to wrong ideas, with no base in science backed with years of research, and pushing some heavy people away from the ways how they could receive medical help and improve their lives, and that is wrong.  Obesity per se, can be very uncomfortable to live with, limitating and physically painful, can lead tp comorbilities that eventually can kill you. That is very serious and very, very real. 
The point that I want to emphasize is, the fact that you say that people in the 200's is usually under the BMI 50. You are not considering height.  A tall person in the mid. 200's will have a lower BMI than a short height person; besides you have to consider the skeleton weight. People have lighter and heavier bones, and that also affects your BMI.  I am a light skeleton, short height person, in the 200's, and YES! BMI over 50. I am active, I am mobile, I am not bed, home or chair bound, but I am working my way to my DS, not because I am ashamed of who I am, not because I care what other people say but because I want a better health, I want to get rid of insuline injections, oral medicines, and I and to do again the activities I used to enjoy and now I can do because my joints complan.  You have to see a bigger picture here. Good will toward others, in you case fat people is a good thing, but it is not enough.  Maybe now you could start a new way to help them to improve their lifes, empower them to seek WLS and gain their lives bak. I wish you success in your weight loss journey.  
Peace and good.
 

Julie, I totally respect your opinion, and even though I don't agree with you I'm like...whoa.....she's got some big balls! lol I have a girlfriend that isn't into the BBW thing as much as you were but she's still there. Prob 5'3 and 300+ pounds. You can't tell her she isn'y sexy and can't get any guy she wants. Hey more power to her. She goes to all those BBW parties where men go to pick up the big girls.....but that's another story for another time. lol Anywho, I told her I was having the surgery and at first she seemed supportive, but she never visited me in the hospital, never came to visit me at home, and STILL to this day hasn't called and asked how I'm doing. So I guess she feels the same way and is throwing away our 13 yr friendship. Oh well **** her.

I guess the post is directed at me too. At my consult I was a 40/41 BMI and had no co-morbidities. I went to a M&G with the BAF forum here on OH in Atlanta last summer and I had a few people tell me I shouldn't get it, so I understand where you're coming from. They meant well but as you can see I still got the DS hehe. I've always had high self esteem and never let my size hinder me from anything. But I have to say I love the new me and can't wait to see what the summer me will look like. When I get to goal I hope you can look at my pics and still say that I look hot!!!!

I think the important thing is that everyone's weight loss journey is different and unique to each of us.  Our reasons, our desires and our goals.  No one should judge others for what they want to do with their life or what they want for their family or their future.  Thank you for your opinion but it's just that - an opinion.  Doesn't mean it changes the reality.  For me personally, I would have never let myself go to a 72 bmi - Happy, fat acceptance or not.   But do I judge you?  Nope.
 
I'm with Felicia.  I am a serious lightweight..or I was!  On surgery day I was 40.3 bmi.  I had been at my highest weight - 42.6. No comorbidities to speak of and was active (playing sports, running with kids, etc) and generally speaking, pretty healthy.

Why did I choose WLS and the DS specifically at such a low bmi?  It wasn't because I felt fat - I still had the skinny Dana inside my brain - I thought I was hot...until I saw myself in pictures and the reality of what I really looked like.  Reality met the "skinny" brain.  That and my family's health history.  Mom and Sister had the DS 8 years ago and I was shocked at them for their choice although never voiced it - I was certain I would never "go there",  Then I turned 35.  My weight was taking a toll on my body.  My boobs were HUGE and so, so heavy.  My knees ached and it was costing me a fortune to stay "in-line" via massage and chiropractor.  My spine/body frame flat out could not support that weight. I was in pain and had muscle tension in my hips and lower back constantly.

Simply stated...My body and my health were teetering on the edge of the cliff.. forward and backward....and it was just a matter of time before it tumbled down into the canyon.  The signs were there, I just chose to heed them.

 If you are not happy with why I or others chose WLS, or think that I/we didn't "deserve" it....I'm sorry.  Good thing you don't make decisions for me.  Just like I don't make decisions for you.  It's all a crap shoot Julie.  We all took a leap of faith to make our lives BETTER.  Why bring it down...let everyone celebrate their own success and it cheapens it when you "taint" it with your "for what it's worth" opinions. 

Lets move on...
Dana

Dana

until you've walked in my shoes, you have no business telling me what i should or shouldn't do with my life.  you have no idea what i've been through.  what i'm still going through.  your 'opinion' means jack to me. 

but - i really am happy for you that you can love your fat ass, i wonder if you drop down to a skinny-***** size...  will you still love it?  i suspect you'll secretly like it better.  bet ya can't admit that tho.  not after this post.

                                                                               



What everyone else said.  Your opinion means squat to me.

I spent the night walking my house, unable to sleep - and in fact, haven't slept in days -  and in tears because my body hurts so much.  I have a BMI of roughly 43, which for me is around 260lbs.  I resent your implication that, if I work harder, I wouldn't have these problems and as such, shouldn't have surgery.  I have suffered increasingly for the past 7 years because of my weight, and having WLS is a fantastic dream for me in what has been a world of pain for a very long time.  I would like it very much if you would go find yourself a short pier somewhere and take a very long walk off of it.

 

ETA:  And WTF, I see by your recent posts you're actually telling lightweights on these boards "At 212 pounds with a 37 BMI, you can live a remarkably healthy and long life (probably healthier and longer than having the DS)."  You are a danger to people on this board looking for solutions to their health problems.  I sincerely hope that this post has flagged you to everyone who tends to be vocal on here as someone they need to watch out for, for the sake of newbies who don't know any better.

I'm 25, my BMI is 48. I have no comorbids. I am relatively healthy, I can climb stairs and only get a little winded. But my grand father died of a heart attack from obesity related conditions in his late 40's. My uncle is over 400 lbs. My father over 350. My mother is obese, my grandparents on moms side are obese. I've maintained a steady weight of 288 at 5'5 since highschool. I've lost a few gained a few, never been able to keep it off. Guess that means I should just wait 15 more years to have WLS, and by the time I'm old enough and maybe big enough to have surgery, I'll have a heart attack and die, but I'll meet those standards you set up. Yea. Guess thats what I'll do. Lemme postpone my surgery now.