My thoughts about WLS and who should have (WARNING: Big Opinions You Might Not Like)
This woman's opinion is wholly about judgment. She was a fat activist, thus she claims surgery for weight loss should be reserved for only those *****semble herself. Everybody else doesn't need it as much. She's even went as far to diss weight loss surgery to other women seeking it if they didn't reach her personal criteria and to preach her views on a obesity surgery support forum.
Anybody who could make such short-sighted public declarations...I doubt they'd reply to the inevitable flamestorm or admit too much possibility to any other point of view.
Now if only the OP would really hear you.
First off, let me say that what follows are my opinions. You may or may not agree, but please don't flame me for them. It's a vulnerable thing to share these thoughts on this board.
Before surgery, I spent years and years as a fat activist, fighting for fat rights, for an end to fatism (discrimination against fat people). I modeled self love (and clothing), I modeled for photographers. I educated others about the fact that fat was not necessarily unhealthy, that health could be had at any size, that fat was not a "death sentence," and that the medical establishment dressed up its own bigotry in the cloak of "scaring" people into "health." I loved the way my body looked, as did my lovers. I was very, very fat positive.
I still am.
At the same time, when my body had reached such a weight as I could no longer be active, I grew very concerned. My knees ached. I breathed heavily when I walked. I could not really walk up a hill without stopping alot. My body was getting so large, that basic hygiene required "extra" measures. So I opted for weight loss surgery. I was hugely fortunate to have known someone who did the DS, and to have chosen it for myself. I did a TON of research before making the decision to do WLS, and the decision to do DS. It was the right thing for me at that time and I have postively NO regrets.
Having said that, here is my opinion about WHO should get the DS (or any WLS) and who should not. First, I think that the BMI cut-off is way too low for WLS. It is my *opinion* that a person can be VERY healthy with a BMI of 35 or 40 or 45 or 50. (My BMI at surgery was 72 -- much much harder to maintain health because your joints get slaughtered.) Furthermore, things like diabetes can be managed with exercise, good eating and medicines. There is NO evidence yet to suggest that WLS will make someone live any longer than having no WLS but having diabetes with healthy behaviors.
I see so many people who have WLS while in the 200s (usually BMIs under 50) who do it because they feel "gross" or "disgusting" because they are fat. Damn, this is the horrible effects of society's fatism. It's something I fight against and will fight against even if I ever get thin. How can we perpetuate this crap? It's like being "Uncle Toms" of the worst sort -- the victims becoming the victimizer. Before having my DS, at least two people showed me their before pictures and referred to their before selves in some derogatory fashion. Yet when I looked at the photos, I saw smiling, gorgeous, cherubic women. Women who looked better (and happier) then than they do now.
We buy into so many of the assumptions and prejudices of our culture. One of my favorite lines comes from the TV show, "Judging Amy." The 8-year-old granddaughter asks her grandmother "What is anorexia?" Grandma answers, "It's a disease you get from magazines."
I have been known to approach "chubby" pre-ops at support group and (in a quiet voice) tell them that perhaps they could be even healthier at their current size by enjoying movement (a.k.a. exercise) and healthy eating. They don't listen to me, which is a shame.
Because the truth of the matter is there are NO long term studies that can show what happens to us 20, 30, 40, 50 years out (assuming we can live that long). Despite all the vitamins and minerals we ingest, it is so very hard to keep up on things like iron, calcium, and the ADEKs, to name a few. I find it especially troubling when a young person (under 35 is my definition, YMMV) decides to do WLS, because nobody knows how their bodies will do over their natural life spans. We literally DO NOT KNOW whether we would live longer with WLS (DS or RNY) than we would live with a 40 or 45 BMI. (Did you know that people with an "overweight" BMI who exercise actually live LONGER than people with an underweight or "normal" BMI who don't exercise? In fact, people with BMIs of 30-35 live longer than those with BMIs under 20, regardless of exercise!)
Okay -- so there it is. My opinion. I would love to hear yours.
I was 45 and had a BMI of 74 when I had my DS. If I could have had it when I was 25 and had a BMI of 35, I probably would NOT have had crippled feet and legs and hypertension. I would also have had a lot more FUN, because I would have been physically able to do more of the things I enjoyed, like dancing. Can't do that any more, because my knees are totally ****** I need both of them replaced, but at 50, they consider me too young. Knee replacements wear out in 15-20 years, and the second time around usually does NOT give good results.
I encourage anyone who's MO to get the help they need while they're still as healthy as possible. We only get one life---might as well get as much joy out of it as possible.
I am not even thinking of touching on the issue of who should and shouldn't have WLS. I am not qualified - nor is it any of my business.
That being said...
I do admit to feeling a little bummed when as a Pre-Op I witness folks disparaging themselves over their "before" pictures. I am in many cases larger than so many of the "before" pictures I see on this site - so is that how you see me or folks like me?
I'm not admonishing anyone here, how you see yourself is how you see yourself. But when I see and hear words like "gross, disgusting, ugly" etc. in regards to our "befores" it only further perpetuates the negativity I still live with every day of my life.
I hope that after I lose a large amount of weight that I can find beauty and compassion for myself at Pre- Op weight.
Again, not a slam or a critique of anyone in particular - but I would just challange us to find some empathy for those who are still struggling - and the you who struggled to get where you are.
Love and Support to all (big and small).
Susie
Who do you think you are that you have the right to make choices for others based on one criteria? You are not a doctor - you don't know sh*t about it.
I've got news for you: you are NOT "all that." And you need to leave the pre-ops alone so they can research and make informed decisions for themselves.
You should see a therapist to deal with your unresolved issues. You obviously have some.
Height 5'4.5"
HW 283 SW 263 LW 119 CW 147 GW 135
NOT EVEN OVERWEIGHT - Just "normal" for the first time since 1989:)
Uhh, ok.
I had WLS at 20 years old -- "young" to anyone on this website, not just you. I have actually had someone on this site criticize me for being so fat so young. They said I must be really lazy. No effing joke. And they were having surgery themselves. Don't be that crazy person.
I didn't hate myself, but I hated being fat. There's a difference. I am not even going to pull some bull**** out of my ass saying that the main reasons I got surgery were because I was afraid of dying in a few years. I probably wasn't going to die in a few years. I bet I had quite a few years left until I degenerated enough to be in serious health trouble. Sure, I was dying, but mostly, my obese body was just uncomfortable to live in -- physically and emotionally.
*****ally gives a snot why anyone around here has WLS? We've all got our reasons, and I'm not sure it really matters why or how we got here. If you take care of yourself post-op (medically and mentally), I don't even give a hoot if your BMI was 35 just because you wore heavy clothes on weigh-in day, never dieted a day in your life, and only got surgery because you dreamed of being a size 6. That person might be in for a rude awakening and could probably benefit from some therapy, but it has nothing to do with the support and knowledge we provide to each other. If they take their vitamins, care about their post-op health, and eat their protein, we can be pals. I know I've answered threads of yours in the past -- and according to your opinion in this thread, I was too young, hated my fat self, and shouldn't have gotten surgery -- does that make my advice, support, or opinions less useful to you? If so, you can block me so you don't have to worry about it anymore.
Now how's about expanding that "size acceptance" to just "acceptance?" Not that I'm perfect at accepting everyone as they are, but it's something to strive for. Easier to make friends that way.
5'9.5" | HW: 368 | SW: 353 | CW: 155 +/- 5 lbs | Angel to 
