My thoughts about WLS and who should have (WARNING: Big Opinions You Might Not Like)

Oooooooohhhhhh Rachelle!!!! 

I don't want to slam anyone for their opinions or choices.  I may have some understanding of where the OP is mentally- I agree with many of the ideas of fat activism- that people should love themselves and feel like they are people of value no matter what the scale shows, that discrimination based on looks and weight is wrong, and that our media promotes unrealistic expectations for the way people should look and that many people, especially young girls, buy in to it.

However, one issue that I have with the fat activism mentality is that I perceive a lot of denial.  The OP will probably disagree with me, but I think that groups like NAAFA pretty much ignore a lot of mainstream research about the health costs of being fat in favor of focusing on the limited research that tells them what they want to hear, which is that being severely overweight is not doing your body any harm.  I think there is denial of mental health issues and feelings- people who feel ostracized for being fat, or who feel uncomfortable with their bodies are lectured about how they shouldn't feel that way, that society is wrong, etc.  Society may be wrong, but those feelings of ostracism and discomfort still exist and need to be accepted and acknowledged before they can be dealt with.

I feel like the OP is saying that she got to the point that she broke through her denial about the negative issues of being fat and decided to have surgery.  However, instead of supporting other people when they get to that point, she's saying that we all have to let it get to where she let it go before our choice is valid.  Misery is not based on a BMI number.  Misery is based on how you feel, physically and mentally, no matter what that number says.  I have a big problem with the idea that you have to be desperate before taking action, when you can be proactive.

These are just my opinions.  I don't think that anyone's opinions should be a part of anyone's decision to have surgery.  I hope that people who are having WLS keep it within the circle of themselves, their physicians, and the people who are important in their lives.  It is a major medical decision, not to be taken lightly, and each person has the responsibility to decide for himself or herself if it's right for them.  And I hope that if that person does choose surgery, that they can go on a WLS message board and find support rather than judgement, regardless of the numbers.

-Jenn

Excellent points.

The truth is, Fat Acceptance in our country is screwed for the very reasons you outlined above:

1) The larger "political" organizations are not merely teaching fat tolerance or promoting fundamental human righs, but actually often demonizing people of average weight *and* denying some of their own membership the ability to admit their weight has become untenable. (Want to see a good old-fashioned shunning? Admit in a size acceptance social group that you can no longer carry your weight and feel you have to change. Tell them you're thinking about changing. Then feel the swift wind as they throw you under the ******g bus.)

2) Groups that promote BBWs socially/sexually (size-acceptance social events, Dimensions, et alia) are not size neutral, but often instead promote people of size as preferred ----and look down upon those who cannot support a larger weight and feel a need to change. (Read: shun, shun, shun.)

There is no Fat Acceptance in this country... because we're polarized...and instead have fat-loathers and fat promoters--- and seemingly no one in between with the simple humanist notion that yep, fat people are just people, with the same sturm und drang and angst and pathos and sadness and joy as the rest of us walking this orb.

Well said.

Hi, my name is Bobbi Jo.  I live in the state of Maine and I would like to agree with your opinion on some level.  I certainly believe there are cases that dictate WLS even though someone has a low BMI.  Two years ago I started the process here at a local hospital in the town I live after 4 years of doing research, studying and hemming and hawing over whether I thought I could do this and stick with it.  The whole time my co-morbity list continued to grow and my weight also. I actually was trying to lose weight.  I am currently 45 years old and weigh 521.  I have  a really high BMI.  When I started the process the highest BMI someone at that hospital would operate on was 80.  So I committed and did all the preliminary stuff for over 5 months.  Remember now, I am so overweight I couldn't, at the time, even sit up in  a chair for more than a few minutes then I would have to lay down.  So I had to proctice prior to my informational meeting and gain some stamina to sit up for over 2 hours for that meeting.  Then, the medical director and the other staff changed their mind and put me on the slow track.  I needed to lose at least 90+ lbs before they would even allow me to see the surgeon for the first time and now the new BMI limit was 65.  I felt like the rug had been pulled out from under me and I was more than angry (and have been for over 2 years). I was told I would have to pay for some of the appointments and if it took me more than a year to lose the weight I would have to restart the program all over again and incur more expense and jumping through hoops.  I was angry because what I saw was people with low BMI's with no co-morbities move through the process quickly. They would get appointments earlier than me and be approved quicker than me and some of them didn't even look like they needed to lose more than 20 lbs. I thought that people *****ally needed surgery would be helped more than others not really needing it.  Not the case at all.  They also told me not to give up, because at least I was someone who had insurance that would pay for it.  They also told me more or less to not go to other hospitals in Maine for a multitude of reasons.  At the time, I didn't even consider it,but now two years later, my blood sugars have taken on a mind of their own and I am still gaining weight, while trying to lose it.  I got in contact with another hospital about 2 hours south of here and they do heavier people with high BMI's.  I now have hope again, but I am a little scared that I may start the process and get turned away at the last moment again.  I also heard during my process at the first hospital about how many malpractice suits had been filed against doctors there, and I knew about one of them first hand.  My husband's ex-wife died from surgery at that hospital and her family has a malpractice suit against the hospital and doctor she had ( the same one I would of had to have).  She was only 28 and had 5 children.  I heard about her alot as I went through all the preliminary stuff and I kind of felt like I was living in her shadow and maybe some of their decisions were made based on my connection to her.  My conclusion:  this is a business, they say they care about the person and are only doing what is best for us- that is bull pucky.  They are looking for people who have low BMI's and are low risk for them, so they can push them through at a fast pace and make the most money they can.  I was called a liar when I said  I had changed my whole eating and was moving around alot more and I only lost 9 lbs from April toAugust of that year.  It wasn'tenough for them, I told them they just became like all the rest of the doctor's I had seen all my life that had no tolerance for overweight people and what they lived with.  They said they knew it was possible to lose the weight because other people had done it so they could have surgery.  I don't think even one of them had ever been overweight their whole lives.  I am hoping and praying my new experience will be better than my first and I actually am hoping to get surgery. 

Bobbi Jo-
I think you have been treated very poorly.  For that I am truly sorry.  Have you considered the DS surgery?  There are no surgeons in Maine who perform the DS but there are in many other places.  The DS is a much better option for those with high BMI's.  Please send me a PM with your email address and I will be happy to send you more information.

Red

wow, that really sucks.

I feel almost lucky I don't have health insurance. since I knew I was paying for it, this allowed me to choose the best surgery and the best surgeon for me and no hoops to jump through. filled out some paperwork, flew to Mexico, got my surgury & am currently living happily ever after.

Extraordinaryme, I hope you can get the surgery you want. nobody should have to go through a bunch of BS when their health is at stake.

Jackie

Bobbi Jo, I really hope that you look at the DS.  The DS would really help you.  If there is a way that you could get to Minnesota I know that Dr Buchwald would do your surgery without question.  He has performed the DS on patients there that weighed 800 pounds.  If you have questions please contact me.

Jennifer

Dear Bobbi Jo,

You have been treated in an appalling way.  What you said about the doctors not believing you rings so true, because so many doctors still labor under the assumption of a "calories in, calories out" model.  It doesn't work that way.

I can totally relate to so much of what you are feeling, and I'm sorry it has been so difficult for you to get the help you want and need.  I hope you have a much better experience at the other hospital.

Julie,

My first reaction was:  Whoa, I'm a "light weight"?

Second reaction:  You can have your opinion but must realize we are all different.

Third reaction:  Your opinion doesn't bother me because I don't care what you think.

Fourth reaction:  About six years ago, my PCP suggested that I should have WLS because I was "still young" and could be enjoying so much more from life than I was.  At that point the only co-morbidity I had was HBP.  However, I did have a newly collapsed arch in my left foot causing a lot of pain and limiting my ability to exercise.

I wish I had listened to my doctor then.  If I had, I wouldn't have developed diabetes II.  I wouldn't be on Vicotin to deal with the pain from my foot, arthritis in my hips and lower back (aggravated by all the weight I'm dragging around) and neck.  I need surgery on my spine but the surgeon says NO because I'm too overweight.

Hence the decision to have WLS.

I also wish I had listened to my PCP because I wouldn't have missed out on some fun times with my kids and grandkids.

I did think of one reason I'm happy I didn't have WLS then.  I would not have known about the DS.

So those are my thoughts for whatever they're worth to you.

Have a nice day.

Cassie