For those who are struggling with some weight gain.......

I copied this post from another site that I frequent. This is my friend Susan. She is almost 6 years out. She has lost 11 pounds in the past few weeks. I just want you all to know that the "tool" still works when used correctly. And if you've gained a little back, you ARE NOT alone. If you are struggling, please reply to this. The first step is getting your problem out in the open. A burden that's shared is easier to carry. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ I decided after reading Kip's post a few weeks ago, that I needed to "get real" with myself. I am almost 6 yrs post op. The first 3 years post op I did really well with maintaining my weight loss (-180 lbs) Right at about the 3 year mark, I got divorced and started dating. I became complacent in my eating. Gradually the weight started going up. After Christmas I realized that my "fat" jeans were not zipping anymore. That scared me. I went down and got on my scale (which I routinely avoid.) I was up to 200 lbs! How did that happen?? I decided that I had to do something ASAP! There was no way I was gonna let myself go back to 340 lbs! I went to WW and joined up. I was at 200.6 lbs. Just seeing that 2 was enough to lead me down the straight and narrow! I then went over to my health club (where I hadn't been for 3 loooong years.) I signed up for 10 sessions with a personal trainer. (It's $$$, but I need someone to kick my a$$ to work out.) I am pleased to say, that it's working. I've lost 11 lbs in 3 weeks. My pouch still works, if I let it. I still eat small portions. I have just had to work hard on cutting out the nighttime snacking and the Coke drinking. I still hate the fact that I have to diet to lose weight. I have come to accept the fact that "normal" people do too! I guess I'm normal???

I am in the land of Da Nile....I hate the words NORMAL and DIET. I know hate is a strong feeling but its as good as I can say it. I fear I won't be able to get to goal. I am frustrated with myself that I cannot maintain my food diary properly and as often as I should. I am not gaining these days but not losing like I would like. I know I am not right out of the gate and the loss does slow down but I am not ready for it to slow to nothing. I need more. I am such a perfectionist and want things just so. I want to be NORMAL but I don't see NORMAL in my horizon any time soon. So it scares me. I see the cycle happening to me again....I had something like this happen with the optifast program.....I lost 100 lbs then and well I could not cope with the new me. Needless to say I ate my way pass that 100 lbs...I am frustrated because I see this happening again in my life and well I didn't find the right tools to stop it the first time. What makes this time different? When I had this surgery I told myself....SELF this is it...no MORE DIETS. This is your life and you have to take hold of it. I have been holding on but I just feel that failure is due to happen soon. Not getting to goal, or perhaps making the goal unrealistic. How do I tell myself that it is okay to go to a point that is not goal. I find that hard. I am upset with myself because I did this to me. I have managed to put me in a position that makes my world less than perfect and its hard for me to say its okay! Its so nice to know there are others that are struggling but I am not sure that our demons are all the same..... I will work through this. Hugs and Fleece Blankets Cher Debbie

Debbie, I have no answers to provide, One thing I learned early is there are no experts on this WLS journey, but there are just a lot of opinions, both professional and otherwise. You have come so far, and you have always been an inspiration to so many of us with your honesty and vocalization. Don't worry about the journaling, you are great at laying out your feelings and demons for the rest of us. It could be that you just have to put your NORMAL on a sliding scale. Set your image of NORMAL and adjust it whenever you need a new challenge. One question for you. You say failure is due to happen soon. Why? Isn't it just as likely that success could become your roadblock to failure. Come to the meeting on Thursday night and let's see if we can get someone to boost away your demons. Your friend, Rob S. DE Obesityhelp.com Leader (Hope that all of you don't mind but certified ObesityHelp.com Leaders have been asked by Obesityhelp.com staff to sign our notes, to keep the program alive.)

Rob, Good point...the sliding scale. Tim suggested this as well. See he thinks I don't listen to him... He is definitely cheap therapy! My thing is getting my head to accept a slide. He told me one pound at a time. It is a more doable thing I am sure its just that you really can't have that many milestones to a goal can you? See now I am analyzing milestones in the journey! You also hit on something for me...success. Maybe what is bothering me is I am succeeding in overcoming some of these demons that the mental roadblock is up now to try and convert back to the old ways of life. I guess in my mind its easier being heavy then where I am at. So I guess maybe my real demon is success. I make my goals in life unattainable in a period of time that my head thinks it should be done in. Failing is easier to accept than succeeding. I have failed at a lot more than I have succeeded. The comfort zone! (Twilight Zone Music now) Monday's meeting was very good for me....Margaret has a way of making me think more about what is going on. The thinking has helped bring this issue up high enough in my vision to be able to journal it out. I think in many ways I needed this funk! It definitely has a silver lining to it. I will be there Thursday. The peanut brittle snack has me excited! LOL Thanks for the words they have helped alot! PS. The DE Obesityhelp.com Leader title is cool! It would be a neat thing if OH could make it part of your name with your pic! You group leaders would stand out more! OH food for thought here!!!! Of course lots of Hugs and Fleece Blankets Debbie

See, I knew that if you just start writing down what you're struggling with it would be easier to get working to fix it. Deb, seriously, you're having some self image problems. We all have them. But if you feel like this is getting out of control, you really might consider seeing a therapist to help you see the wonderful person that is you. We all see it, your hubby sees it, you need to see it now. You are a success!

I have been seeing someone for 7 months....I see her in another week. I am changing her format a bit. I see her lesson for this month is not going to help me with this problem....Sending email to her tonight. Thanks for the support. Debbie

Debbie, I really feel your pain. I could swear you were talking from inside my head. I have been struggling since Christmas. You are so right. I think we mentally sabitoge ourselves. Are we afraid to suceed? After all we are so use to failure. WE can overcome this. We both know this and will continue to work on this. Remember 2006 is our year. Hang in there and keep your head up and be proud of how far you have come. Making a U turn is not allowed. My prayers are with you!!! See you lighter. Joanne Obesity Help Chapter Leader

You are right Joanne we can over come this and we must. I know what I have to do I just have to make sure its done. I am trying to make a game plan now. The explosion is over and now its time to regroup....and plan to succeed. This is all new territory for me. I don't think I have ever been known as a success at anything. So the uncertainity makes it hard to deal with...But I will figure something out...I didn't get this far to turn around. Thanks for the support...Hugs and Fleece Blankets Debbie

WOW, what great timing!!! I'm just about 2 years out and am struggling. Going thru a lot in my personal life (divorce, financial crisis, etc). This morning I reached into my "fat clothes" because my new pants were just too tight yesterday. I would love to come to meetings, but I am working too many hours. Until I get moved and my finances under control, I don't have any choice. I will be trying to check in here more often even though work doesn't like it. Ken