Wake up call

After analyzing some old behaviors that I began to reincorporate into my life I decided that I needed to reevalute myself because I saw myself at a standstill with 40-50 pounds to go to reach my personal goal. I was not taking care of myself as I should because I was not getting in my vitamins, water, exrecise and most importantly my daily protein. In addition, I began drinking sodas and alcohol which are no-no's. Basically I had to go back to the beginning and ask why I decided to have this surgery and why after all of the hard work I did pre op to prepare for it was I sabbotaging myself? Once I considered all things I realized that for so long I did not feel that I was worthy and deserving of basic needs that we all have: to be respected, loved and appreciated. Because I did not love or respect myself I felt that I was less a person because of my obesity so I never felt I deserved to be appreciated by anyone. When I was at my highest weight of 373 I drank alcohol heavily so I could go outside the box because I would become bold, the real party animal and take risks I would not had I been sober. I am now working hard to rid myself of these negative behaviors (although I can still be a non-alcoholic party animal ) and feelings and as they say time is the true healer of our wounds but hard work is ahead and I am up for the challenge. I have also gone back to eating basics and work diligently to get in all of my water and protein and I have joined the Y and try to go everyday just to get myself motivated. I was at 236 when I was weighed while visiting my Pulmonologist (who took me off my CPAP) in December and I jumped on a scale Saturday while visiting my sister's home and weighed 220 so I know that what I am doing is working. I always said from the beginning that I have to make this work because the surgery is a tool but maintenance is up to us each individually. When I read posts about people gaining weight and needing revisions (nothing against those who this has happened to) I wondered how that could be but now I understand because although I had not gained any weight it was bound to happen to me if I had not had the wake up call! I will be going to Jamaica in June for a wedding and my goal is to be under 200 pounds by then. I am finally finding happiness in myself and I hope this burst of positive energy remains. Prycey Lady RNY 2/2/05 373/220/?

You really synopsized the main problem we will all face some day and that is caring enough for ourselves that we continue to treat our bodies well. Glad you got the wake-up call early! Keep up the great progress. Love, Kathleen

I know many WLSers who are 4 & 5 years out. They all say that the tool still works when it's used properly. Good for you to understand that and get back to using your tool! You ROCK!