hi everbody

i am tom from PA boards....i have met some special people from DE at my last support meeting and want to make this board a stop on my journey...feel free to stop by the PA boards also....i wanted to say hi !!!!!!!! this is my story.............. It all started with a dream and a thought.....could it be possible..It had entered my head many times but this time was differnt...their was realness to the desire to save my life now....i made the call to barix and was on my way. i went through all my testing and found out i had sleep apnea like i did not know something was wrong...i got a cpap machine and awaited the day jan 26, 2005. i went to pre-admission testing and found out my thyroid level was too low and they wanted to cancel surgery for 3 weeks till my levels went up.....i went home so bummed and thought about it for awhile...i was not waiting...i called my docter and he said he would investigate it...i did not hear nothing on Friday....over the weekend i heard nothing so i thought i guess thats it i am going to have to wait.....i did not even eat breakfast monday morning holding a thought they might call.....i was at my desk,,,i gave up it was 100pm i had just ate a bagel and my wife called and said "barix called and they said stop eating!" they have me scheduled for wednesday.......i was woooooo hoooooo.......excited and it seemed like their was no time to be scared....so my last meal was a bagel....i never was able to have that last big dinner but what the hell i had so many anyway over my life time. Well here we are the day of my surgery....everything is just peachy keen as i await the big moment....the surgery goes without a hitch and things are great...a lot of discomfort and after pain but everyone deals with it so i saw nothing unusual..it was everything i exspected it to be.....i was home and i was 2 weeks out, i coughed and i looked down and my shirt was turning red....i lifted it and my binder was red...bright wet red....i opened it and to my amazement blood squirted right out of my incision...going about 18-24 inches it looked like a water gun being squirted...i paniced and jumped up...i thought i blew an artery based on the way the blood was coming out....i was running in circles my wife was sitting across from me and was in shock also.....i grabbed towels in the kitchen and out them on my stomach...blood was just turning them red and blood was all over the living room....dining room and kitchen...everywhere i went i was leaving a blood spattered autograph...my wife screams get in the car" i run for the car thinking i am going fast...this is the big one i am going to bleed to death. we jump in the car and go the emergency room about 2 blocks away...from there i went by ambulance to barix and was reopened at 100am, 5 inches of my incision busted wide open i could look inside me and see my intestines. i got reclosed and i was wired shut this time and it was quite painful and very sore but i muddled through it and was lsing weight as a quick pace right off the bat....my wife was my dietician during the first weeks..i went by the book totally...no exceptions through all the food phases and after the early issues i felt great and was doing great....i did notice a lump growing below my incision site and as i lost weight it got bigger....it was a hernia....great to find out that...another surgery coming down the road....they wanted me to be a year out till i could get it fixed due to weight loss...they fix it too early and you lose alot of weight after it...it will look terrible...so they wait, everything other than the alien's head as i call it was going great. i was 9 months out when the gall bladder struck...terrible pain i was operated on at my local hospital and after the surgery...i was bleeding so bad i had to go back in and they had to go in and find the bleeder....their were some scary moments there...blood pressure dropped so low and bleeding was incredible....my drains were overflowing....everything was fixed after the second surgery. i about had it with surgeries....lol just one more and that happened last week i am recovering from open hernia surgery...full cut down the tummy..........could not be done lap due to all the scar tissue...he tryed and could not see anything....so the full open cut was needed and what i dreaded the most........i am bearing through it....i have had some hills to overcome and thats what this is all about.....overcoming hurdles...keep your eye on the prize at the end of the rainbow and just get there....use desire and want to keep the fires burning....allow nothing to stop you.....their are hills and valleys...each person has differnt hills and valleys to climb.....our jouneys are differnt and yet the same....we are connected by our desire and want and that will always be the equalizer when things seem impossible.....never give up on yourself...thrive always to be the best you can be....i just had my fifth surgery (hernia)............. at times and i have felt that things are overwhelming me feeling and second guessed my decision at times early on but ask me now 160lbs gone and having overcome many struggles to get here and thinking back over everything i have endured to get here would i do it over again....without a second thought...yes.....and if i had to do it exactly...yes again....i am gaining my life back and i really don't care how i got here...the important thing is i am here....i will never forget the hard times but they are behind me, i see them but i do not focus on them, all i see is forward...today and tomorrow...and the next day...what rewards are coming my way..thats what it is all about...meeting personal goals and achieving my final goal...which is not a number on a scale but being the best person i can be no matter what i weigh.

Tom, It was great meeting you and glad you are around for support! Its good to have you here on DE as well as PA boards. How is the hernia surgery healing going for you? You are doing really well on your final goal..... Debbie

Tom, What a journey you have had. So glad you and your docs are on top of everything. Continue taking excellent care of yourself. And don't dismiss even the slightest symptom. I agree, that this journey is not always about a number on a scale, and when it is, it can become overwhelming, but should rather be about being the best person we can be. Thanks for the inspiration this fine morning! Tammy

Tom, I really enjoyed reading your story. It really gives me hope. I had some of the same complications. I am past them all except the hernia repair. Mine is right under my breast and almost looks like a third. My hernia repair is in May with a Tummy Tuck. I am trying to lose 50 lbs more before that surgery because like you said you want to lose all you can before. I hope you recover real fast. See you lighter. Joanne

Hi Tom, How's it going? I hope each and every day is better than the day before. Getting aintsy yet? You have come so far in this journey. It will only get better and better. I'm going to go into computer withdrawl already. Going in on Wednesday for my knees. Should be out by Saturday. Then to a weeks re-hab for PT. Then I should be home and good as new. Will let you know how all this goes. Keep up the positive attitude. It glows. Elissa