Ok, now I have done something really stupid!

Well my Delaware friends, I have done something really stupid. In an effort to "educate" myself, I read the memorial page. What a mistake that was! I have been feeling anxious about the surgery lately, and now I am even more frightened. Why did I do something so stupid???? Wish I could take it back. I mean, I certainly don't have my head in the sand about the dangers of the surgery, but seeing the faces and reading the stories really brings it home. I am so scared. Sorry, just had to vent. Rosa

Hi Rosa!! I too, have done the same thing. I was scared for a few days, but I think for me it kinda made me look at the reality. Many people think this is just a little surgery due to the length of stay and other people's accounts. It made me realize that this really is a major major surgery, and things can go unexpected. It also made my decision to have surgery a better and more informed one. Sorry to hear that it made you more anxious. April

Hi April, It did make me anxious, but I really am at peace now. It inspired me to get my legal papers together. I spent part of the day working on my Power of Attorney, Medical Power of Attorney, and Living Will. Instead of getting depressed about it, it actually made me feel better. I am feeling much more positive, and realize that the chances of my dying from WLS are much smaller than from dying because of morbid obesity. These message boards have really helped me. Everyone is so wonderful. I am so blessed to have found all of you. Thanks so much. Rosa

I think people SHOULD visit the memorial pages - for a few reasons. (1) it pays homage to those who've went before us...those who were courageous with very high BMI's and often knew the risks were worse for them; those who died fighting for insurance to cover their surgeries; those who died from complications and in essence taught thier surgeons more about these procedures; and all the other reasons people have passed away (some who never had surgery or their deaths were totally unrelated to WLS). BUT I would also like to make a few points here. People die daily from all types of things. If we stopped and pondered too long what people die from we'd never do any of the things that living requires to truly BE LIVING. Driving cars, going for walks, breathing unfiltered air, petting stray dogs (everyone's done this at least ONCE in their life - some haven't lived to tell about it), sitting in your living room watching tv (one little girl died in her bed when a car went out of control and crashed thru the wall of her house and killed her - what are the odds???), let our children outside to play.... Life happens. Death happens. THINGS happen. We make the best choices we can. We hopefully check out our doctors to the best of our ability. We choose the safest cars we can afford. We pick houses in child-friendly neighborhoods and pray for our kids' safety. We don't however, lock ourselves away. IF the cause of death were listed on all tombstones and people could see all the reasons/things people die from - we'd be petrified to live. If you cruise thru the websites that list all the missing children in this one country, we'd never let our kids out of doors without us - even in a securely fenced back yard. Sure, we can be scared, but we still have to go on about this business of living and making choice, often hard choices, to make our lives better. This is a HARD choice - not necessarily the right choice for everyone...maybe not the right choice for you. But don't let fear stop you from pursuing what you want. Let it guide you in making the best choices you can. For a more balanced perspective on this please read: www.bariatricbytes.com/risks.html Hugs, Toots (forgive my ramblings)

Hi Toots, Thank you so much for taking time to respond to my post. Your response was so honest and powerful. You have really given me so much to think about. I have read your response several times and I am so blown away by its wisdom. As I have said before, I am so blessed to have found OH and all its wonderful people. You guys inspire me every day. You keep me grounded even when I feel like I am going to visit La La Land and never come back! Take care of yourself Toots! Thanks again. Big Hugs, Rosa

April & Rosa, I agree with Tooter; The only thing I can add is, after I did the same thing right before my surgery, I had to remind myself of our particular doctors record. Remember that some of the "horror" stories you hear and read are from physicians whose track record is not steller or some of them are newer to the field. I have no qualm sharing that I truly believe that our docs are top of the line when it comes to surgery, care and concern. I was absolutely in awe of them when I was in the hospital with my surgery. I saw them pouring over the records, I saw them on top of the nurses and staff, I saw them not take chances with even the slightest hint of a problem. I had some slight symptoms of a leak and they were absolutely on top of it. While it ended up that all was well, I was thrilled to know that they didn't have the "lets wait and see" attitude when it came to something that could be so serious. They were very pro-active. I knew then that I had choosen someone who was very competent to help me do what I was not able to do on my own, lose my weight and gain back some of my health and mobility. While I never recommend this surgery to anyone at anytime, nor do I talk anyone into their surgery when they hit this hurdle (most of us do BTW), I do encourage everyone to take a bit of time and reflect on your reasons for choosing surgery, your research into the surgery, and your surgeons track record before you make any rash decisions. I think that as the morning comes along, you will find so many others right here that will post that they too went through the same thing. It is hard when you get smacked with something that hits on such a personal level, but I have faith that you will make the right decision for you. I pray you both find peace soon. Hugs, Tammy

Thanks Tammy. I am so glad you have so much faith in our doctors. I was very impressed by Dr. Wynn (even though she looks like she is 12!). I am feeling much better today. Got my legal papers together and feel so much more at peace. I do so appreciate your help. Big Hugs, Rosa

I read the pages before my surgery too. It didn't scare me any more than I already was. It put things in perspective. I figured I was already dying from the high BP, sleep apnea, etc. Tooter & Tammy have given you very good opinions. Out doctors have one of the best programs in the country. Not many require the extensive pre-op screening & testing and educatuional classes that they do. Their follow-up care is stellar.

Hi Dineen. You are absolutely right. We have the best! That is very comforting to me. Thanks so much. Big Hugs, Rosa

Rosa, My sisters in WLS have given you all my feelings on the memorial page. I went also. Reality check. I was saddened, but reaffirmed in my conviction to becoming healthy. I have never gone back to the page. I think those that have passed are my heroes. They never gave up on being healthy and died in a heroic battle on their journey. Enough said. Elissa