I don't know how to feel about this.....

My daughter is 18 and will be 19 February 13, she told me the other day she wants to check into wls. I will support her 100% but I hope she is weighing all of the options and just not looking at me and saying I want it because Mom did well. Yes, I did well, but I was 43 years old when I decided to take this step. I feel she is way to young. She is a big girl weighing 296 and 5foot 8. I just don't think she is ready to have such a permanent procedure done. Any feedback would be greatly appreciated. Thanks, Dana

Always a touchy subject, parents and children, but... Okay, so she can look into it on her own, talk to folks (better not you) on her own, go to support meetings without you, speak to doctors alone. Does she have her own insurance? Are there copays that are significant? because she is young and may in her life want children, etc., she should consider lapbands seriously.Then she can think some more and talk some more and hopefully come to her own adult conclusion. Just my 2 cents, but you asked. Good luck -- children at the brink of adulthood is a scary place for all. Carol

Thank you Carol, they are great ideas, and no she does not have her own insurance, she still lives at home, I would have to check and see how long she is covered, under our family plan. Thanks again, Dana

Wow, Dana. That's a toughie.... After the initial concern, you will be her greatest strength. How's Dad feel about this one?

My husband is a man with very little words, until after. He supported me, and told me what ever I decide he is with me 100% but I found out later he was scared to death. He didn't say a word when I told him about our daughter's decision. It's good to hear from you how are you? Dana

Dana, Definitely a tough one...I would basically put everything on the table. What has she done to help with weight loss? I would maybe say try a few options and see how you do before diving in for permanent changes. Sometimes they are not as good as they seem. I would also present some of the negative stuff that goes along with WLS. She knows a success story but she should also see what the problems are associated with this and not everyone has a happy ending or journey. We have our age to be thankful for....been there done that helps us. Short cuts are not always the way to go in life and just showing/telling her about these things might help you both. Okay another reason why I don't have kids!

Dana, My 20 year old is also very overweight and being her Mother, of course, I worry about her. It is such a young age to go through all that we had to go through. Has you daughter attempted any other weight loss processes? I know mine hasn't so I know she is not ready for the seriousiness of this surgery. I worry about the real long term affects which we don't know about and have not encountered yet. I am not sure my daughter understands that this is a "tool" but not the answer. Just reading all the struggles all of us went through over the holidays, just proves that it is a never ending battle with our minds and bodies. Are they really ready for that at such a young age? I wonder. I don't know if this helps but just thought I would put my two cents in. Good Luck and keep us posted. Ellen

Thanks Ellen and Debbie, No Christa has not went through any kind of diets, I told her when she talked to me she would have to atleast go through a 6 month supervised diet with a doctor. And Ellen what you said about our surgery just being a tool, I don't think she understands that because she just sees me and what I went through, how I was wearing a size 26 and now I can fit into 14's, I am thinking she is looking at this to be an easy way out. I am going to take everyone's advise and let her research and attend meetings, and see what happens. Thanks, for your input. Dana

This question might already be answered for you. Most insurances require that you have proof of previous supervised weight loss attempts on top of several co-morbidities before they will consider a surgical option. Some even require a 6 month supervised diet before surgery. Get her on this site. Let her do her own research. She's considered an adult now. Spotty's down for good now but there's still light & hope and now Fatblog. Answer her questions accurately and honestly. Make an appointment with her PCP for a complete physical. Stress that this is a HUGE step, not reversable, and it is FOR THE REST OF HER LIFE! Straying from the supplement guidelines can potentially cause serious bodily harm and even death. She's very young. She really needs to exhaust all options first. It doesn't sound like she's even tried yet. Good luck.

Dana, Being an overweight teen myself I understand where your daughter is coming from. I have yoyo dieted since about age 14. If she was my daughter I would support her all the way and check into surgery for her just so she didn't have all the struggles I had. My daughter is very obese . She is 33 and says she will never have the surgery. If she told me tomorrow she wanted to check into it I would be one happy Mom and support her all the way. I do realize there is a age difference. I work with teens and it really breaks my heart when I see the struggles they go thru being obese. My dream job is to work with obese kids someday. We need to stop obesity in this country and kids are where we need to start. I don't know if Bypass is her answer but banding might be better because it can be reversed. I know as a Mom this is a tough decision and should not be taken lightly. I wish I had surgery at 18!!!! See you lighter.Joanne