Undecided...

I just came to the board to see what everyone was up to and I read on the main board about the passing of Jessica O. What a sad story, it took me an hour to read her profile. It is times like this that I wonder if I am making a good decision for myself. I can't imagine having wls and then losing my life. I realize she had cancer but still, the pain and agony that she went through with her surgery was horrible. I am not ready to die and leave my family. I don't know what to do. I just feel very up in the air right now....someone remind me why I want this surgery again!! Robyn

ROBYN MY DEAR FRIEND I KNEW JESSICA AND SHE ALWAYS SAID DON'T LET WHAT HAPPENS TO ME BE YOUR DECIDING FACTOR. YOU ARE DOING THIS FOR YOURSELF AS WELL AS YOUR FAMILY AND TO BE HAPPY AND HEALTHY SWEETIE KEEP YOUR HEAD UP AND IF YOU NEED ME I AM HERE YOU CAN E-MAIL ME OK MY E-MAIL IS [email protected] YOUR FRIEND VICKIE

Robyn, I understand your concerns as well. The decision to have or not have WLS is up to you. Lisa and I both weighed the pros and cons. We had the support of each other. That is what helped us with the decision. You are correct it is not a decision to make unless you are ready. Life is so uncertain. We knew with the comorbidities that surround the weight problems our overall health should improve. The day I walked out of the hospital I no longer had to take meds for diabetes. Lisa has MS and normally by this time of the year she would have fought through an episode and that has not happened. I anticipate next week my cardiologist will take me off of all heart related meds. It is always sad when someone passes away. That does not mean it will happen to you. You are so full of life. You need to ask yourself how your life would be different if you had WLS. You need to have the utmost confidence in your doctor. The support of your spouse is equally important. You are surrounded by people who have gone through the surgery. We all understand your concerns. You have our phone number and if you want to talk with Lisa at anytime about your feelings she is more than willing to listen and talk. You have your reasons for having surgery. I am sure you will make the best decision for yourself. My thoughts are with you during this process! Kevin

Hi Robyn, As a single Mom, the decision to have WLS was the hardest one of my life. I knew that my son would be completely lost and unequipped for the life ahead of him should I die. However, with all the medical problems I had and those that were looming, I knew I would die a lot sooner than I should. Mine was a selfish decision because I wanted to be able to lose the weight so that I would be around to enjoy my family in the long run. I knew if I didn't take the chance and have the surgery, I would never have the opportunity to see my son get married, nor would I have ever known any grandchildren I might have had. All those wonderful things associated with life I would miss. While only God knows what lies ahead for all of us, the one sure thing I knew, was I had control of the here and now, and I took the chance to make my here and now better and healthier. If you want to talk, feel free to give me a call. Hang in there, and you will make the decision that's right for you.

Oh (((Robyn))), do I understand the feelings that you are going through. Right before my surgery there was a "surge" of those kinds of postings (see my profile for my thoughts at that time - please take a few minutes to read it) ... anyway, I was about to jump ship so to speak. I am so very glad that I did not, as this surgery has been a life saving proceedure for me. I was not as severe as many going into the surgery, but truly at the path I was on, it was only a matter of time. I was past the point of being able to exercise to get the weight off ... and the weight NEEDED to come off. At any rate, no one can tell you what decision is best for you. Only you can determine that. But what you may want to consider at this point is Jessicas doc is not your doc Jessicas reason of death is undetermined ... her family said it may have been that her heart simply gave out, it may have been her cancer ... truly at this point, they say they just don't know. The success rate of our docs is well above normal Our docs are truly concerned with our well being. I have never been so impressed as I was with our docs when I was in the hospital. I saw them pouring over the charts of each patient. I saw them confering with the hospital staff to ensure appropiate care for each of their patients. Dr Irgau came running in at the mere slightest suggestion that I may have had a leak. He was not taking any chances whatsoever with my life. He gained so much respect and admiration from me that day. Remember all the reseach you have put into not only this proceedure but into your docs as well. You didn't come to your decision without a lot of consideration, time, effort, research and I am not sure but do you pray? If so, I am sure you have prayed about this decision as well? Something that helped me was to remember that life had risks with or without surgery. And for me, I decided that my chances at life and health were far greater with surgery than without. Remember, my friend that I have just asked for prayer and help (blood clots). He is a WL patient, and yet here he is dealing with blood clots and a whole host of other problems that I am concerned will take his life at a young age. However, this may not be the appropiate decision for you at this time ... only you know. I know that it was not for a girlfriend of mine nor for my mother and yet it was the best decision I personally could make. It is all so very individual. At any rate Robyn, step back for a moment, take a deep breath, and weigh everything carefully. Ultimately this decision affects you and your family. I will be praying for you. It is a hard decision but I have every faith that you will make the right decision for you at this time. And know that whatever you decide is right, we will all support you and stand behind you all the way. Hugs, Tammy

I am sorry but I made a mistake that needs to be clarified .... "Remember, my friend that I have just asked for prayer and help (blood clots). *****He is a WL patient*****, and yet here he is dealing with blood clots and a whole host of other problems that I am concerned will take his life at a young age. " I said "He is a WL patient" when in fact I meant to post "He is NOT a WL patient" Sorry!

HELLO ROBYN SWEETIE,LET ME TELL YOU THIS I HAVE BEEN DOWN THE ROAD AND BACK AND I FEEL I HAVE MADE THE RIGHT CHOSE EVEN SOMEDAYS I THOUGHT TO MYSELF WOW BONNIE DID YOU DO THE RIGHT THING HAVING THE SURGERY BUT THEN I THINK AGAIN AND STOP AND REALIZE YES I DID I HAVE LOST A WHOLE PERSON AND STILL GOT TO LOSE ABOUT ANOTHER PERSON LOL.BUT IF I DIDN'T DO THE SURGERY I WAS TOLD BY MY DOCTOR I WOULD NOT LIVE TO SEE THIS SUMMER WHICH HAS PASSED,WELL SWEETIE PRAISE GOD HERE I AM AND ABLE TO WRITE TO YOU ABOUT IT.I KNEW FROM THE GET GO THERE WOULD BE ROAD BLOCKS OR BUMPS IN THE ROAD,MY BLOOD PRESSURE IS GREAT,AND I WAS ON 11 DIFFERENT PILLS AND HONEY I'M DOWN TO ONE NOW.YEAHHHHHH.BUT I DID TELL MY HUSBAND IF I DON'T MAKE IT THROUGH SURGERY PUT ON MY TOMBSTONE BONNIE DIED TRYING.AND AT LEAST I DON'T HAVE TO SIT BACK AND WONDER WHAT IF I HAD THE SURGERY WHAT AND WHERE WOULD I BE AT NOW.YES I AM WEAK BUT THIS IS FIXABLE,IT IS TAKING TIME TO GET ME BACK ON THE RIGHT TRACK AND I DO HAVE IRRABLE BOWEL SY. IF THERE IS ANYTHING I CAN HELP YOU WITH MY ARMS ARE ALWAYS OPEN SWEETIE.YOU ALSO HAVE MY NUMBER AND WE CAN GET TOGETHER AND CHAT.I'M HERE FOR YA SWEETIE.TAKE CARE YOUR ANGEL AND FRIEND BONNIE HUGSSSSSSSSSSS SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS