SHORT STORY OF WHO I AM AND WHY

AS FAR AS I CAN REMEMBER I NEVER EVER FELT GOOD ABOUT MYSELF AWAYS ASHAME I JUST WANTED TO DIE OR HIDE IN A CLOSET.ALWAYS WAS TOLD AS I WAS GROWING UP OH BONNIE YOUR SUCH A PRETTY GIRL BUT OH I HATED THAT WORD B U T IF ONLY YOU COULD LOSE SOME OF THAT WEIGHT,BOY I ALREADY FELT BAD ENOUGH ABOUT MYSELF BUT TO HAVE PEOPLE RUB IT IN YOUR FACE ALL THE TIME,IT WAS AWFUL.I HATED SCHOOL FOR I WAS MADE FUN THE ENTIRE TIME I WENT AND IT MADE IT WERE I DIDN'T CARE IF I WENT TO SCHOOL OR PASSED ON TO THE NEXT GRADE.MY OWN MOTHER EVEN MADE FUN OF ME IT HURT ME SO BAD.YOU KNOW WHEN YOUR AT THAT AGE WHERE YOU JUST STARTED LIKING BOYS AND THIS BOY LIKED ME,SO I WAS SO EXCITED I WAS TALKING TO MY MOM ABOUT HIM AND AS SHE STEPPED DOWN TO GO INTO THE BATHROOM SHE HAD THIS SMIRK LAUGH ON HER FACE AND SAID HUH WHO WOULD WANT YOU YOUR TOO FAT AND UGLY AND SHE WALKED AWAY.I NEVER WENT TO MY MOM EVER ABOUT NOTHING SO I HAD NO ONE TO TURN TO,TO SHARE MY THOUGHTS AND DREAMS AND HOPES.I DIDN'T HAVE THE SUPPORT I NEEDED AS I WAS GROWING UP.I WASN'T EVEN ALOUD OUT TO PLAY OR HAVE FRIENDS TO COME OVER OR I WASN'T ALOUD TO GO ANYWHERE,NO PHONE CALLS ETC.AS I MET MY HUSBAND HE SHOWED ME THE LOVE I NEVER KNEW BEFORE.AND I PUT IT IN MY MIND THAT IF I WAS TO EVER GET MARRIED AND HAVE A FAMILY THEY WOULD KNOW WHAT IT IS TO BE LOVED AND TO SHARE EVERYTHING.AND I KEPT MY PROMISE TO MYSELF AND I STILL AS OF TODAY HAVE OPEN COMMUNICATION WITH MY FAMILY.AND THIS IS WHAT MAKES ME WHO I AM I CARE AND I'M GONNA GIVE IT AND SHOW MY FEELINGS TO ALL FOR I HAVE ALOT TO GIVE.I THOUGHT I WOULD SHARE ALITTLE BIT OF MYSELF SO YOU KNOW WHY I AM LIKE I AM,GIVING CARING.THANK YOU ALL FOR TAKING TIME TO READ ABOUT ME.YOUR FRIEND BONNIE

I find it sad that the people we love treat us so badly. My father and brothers tortured me about my weight....And I really didn't think I was that bad back then. Its so nice that you care the way you do. Its good. Keep being you! You are very special. Debbie

AAAWWW THANK YOU SO VERY MUCH DEBBIE FOR YOUR SWEET SUPPORTING ENCOURAGEMENT.YOU ARE VERY SPECIAL TO ME TOO.I WANT YOU TO KNOW IF THERE IS ANYTHING I CAN DO FOR YOU JUST GIVE A YELL.YOU KNOW I'LL TRY MY BEST TO DO IT.AND KEEP ON TAKING YOUR MEDS OK SO YOU CAN HEAL AND SOON YOU'LL BE OFF OF IT.JUST HANG IN THERE.YOUR FRIEND BONNIE

Awwww Bonnie, I am sending you a BIG ((((((HUG)))))))) You are a wonderful person, and I can't wait to meet you in person. Thanks so much for sharing your story. Love, Dana

AAAAWWWWW DANA YOUR SO VERY SWEET THANK YOU I ALWAYS NEED HUGS AND ME SENDING ((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((HUGS))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((HUGS))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((HUGS))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((HUGS))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((HUGS))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((HUGS))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((HUGS)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))) RIGHT BACK AT YA. ARE YOU GOING TO SATURDAY'S MEETING AT PMRI?I'M GONNA TRY TO MAKE IT WITH MY DAUGHTER.HOPE TO SEE YA THERE.TAKE CARE YOUR FRIEND BONNIE

I am going away to Crisfield MD, to a ladies retreat!!!!!! No Kids No husbands No work just a bunch of church ladies having fun!!!!! wow I can't wait. I promise I will try to make the next meeting. I really need to get back. I am sort of at a stand still on the weight loss. I have increased my water intake to stop the headaches, (thanks Tammy) and I am going to try to walk early in the morning before work, and before the heat. Well take care, and I will post when I get back. (((hugs again))) Dana

GOT ROOM IN YOUR POCKET LOL,OR SUITCASE.GO HAVE FUN GIRLFRIEND AND YOU CAN TELL US ALL ABOUT IT WHEN YOU GET BACK.HEY JUST A WEEKEND YOU SURE THAT'S LONG ENOUGH GET AWAY LOL.HAVE SOME FUN FOR ME TOO AND THEN TELL ME HOW MUCH FUN I HAD LOL.TAKE CARE YOUR FRIEND BONNIE