Ramblings ... How I became normal!

Okay Linda, you got me to thinking this morning with your post on tooting (*your horn* that is ) ... scary thought eh? At any rate, I hope you all don't mind if I ramble a bit this morn ... and allow me to share my WLS epiphany! Linda, you go girl!!! Isn't it simply amazing? Just wait the next post will be "Bummer, I didn't get to run today!" I sit (well actually I rarely sit these days but you know what I mean) I stand in amazement at all the changes. Not only have our bodies morphed, but our minds are morphing as well. 2 years ago, I am not sure there would have been many of us here who said "Yeah, exercise!" And now, just look at everyone! So awesome! I have been running for quite a while now, and Linda, I simply love it! Truly, it is addictive! I am trying to build up stamina ... thinking of running a marathon *gasp* (Waaaay off in the distance - of course). I have taken up boxing also ... and gotta tell ya, I LOVE it! Hitting the bag really helps to kick out the stress. Walk away exhausted but feeling incredible! To top it all off ... I just got in from playing kickball in the yard with the boys. We ran the back acre, over and over again. And while doing it, I was reminded of one of the most important reasons for me having my surgery ... and that was to play, REALLY play with my boys ... and now this is a daily occurrence. I feel so blessed. I sent out a picture of me to my girlfriend the other day (she has been bugging me for months) and she called me back sobbing, truly sobbing ... saying "Tammy, you have done it!" Done what I inquired ... "You look so good, but even more than that ... you are on your knees in that picture with your boys! I remember the last time I saw you, you could not climb the stairs without severe pain in your knees!" She was so right! I could not climb the stairs without pain. As a matter of fact, hubby purchased a small fridge and microwave to keep upstairs so I could feed the boys without having to navigate the stairs on those days when the pain was too great! And here I am today, looking for reasons to climb the stairs to get in extra steps!! Truly, blessed beyond belief! So while I still struggle trying to get these last few pounds off ... and while I still "hate" my stomach, I have finally come to the realization that this surgery didn't suddenly make me a perfect ready for the magazines Bo Derek 10, so what? It did improve my life in ways that simply can not be beat!!! Sure some of the blessings came unexpectedly and packaged a bit different than I had envisioned, but man oh man, truly they are the sweetest fruits of the vine. I think my older son summed it up best when he told me a couple of months back ... "Mom, when you were walking toward me, you looked ... so normal. Not to be mean or anything, but mom you looked just like everyone else." So there you have it, my epiphany, that is it ... I am as normal as one can be with rerouted intestines, I struggle with body image at time, other times, I am starting to like me. I struggle with a few pounds I wanna see gone, just like a good majority of the population. I struggle with a part of my body that I am not all that happy with (tummy), others struggle with the same thing only different parts of their bodies (nose, ears, legs, breasts, chest ... you name it). So with that in mind, my life has become ... ummm normal and it is time to sit back and relax and enjoy all that I have worked so hard for the past 18 months. Whew!!! Sorry to chew your ear (or in this case your eyes) off this morning!!! Talk about a mouthful!!! So to all of you out there who have just started this journey, I wish you the very best ... and be sure to dream, dream, dream big ... the blessings of this surgery are far to many to put into words and were far too many for my limitedl mind to embrace!!! Hugs to one and all! Tammy

You have come so far and I have enjoyed watching your progress since I was first a lurker on this board hmmm.. almost a year ago Your upbeat disposition and the encouragement and love you have shown has been such an inspiration to me. Never change dear one. You are a lot more than normal... you are awesome!!! Gigee

What can I say to that ... other than thank you from the bottom of my heart. Your words have truly touched me. You are such a wonderful encourager! So glad you found your way here and so glad we have met! Hugs & Tammy

Hi Tammy, Who'da thunk it...that normal and ordinary could be so...extraordinary! You have made some amazing changes since I met you and let me tell ya, I am IMPRESSED at the boxing! That is so cool and I want to know everything about it. Heck, we could put together the first GBS Boxing League.....Laaaadiiiies and gentlemennnnnnnn, in this corner looking remarkably ordinary and normal is diiiiiiiiimples dimples! I'd be in the front row for that one girl! Playing with your kids is awesome, and I totally get the remark from your older son. I have to laugh at the things they say some times. Last night I was sitting here after my run/walk thing and my 17 year old came home and he said "Hey mom, look at you sittin there all gangsta lookin' in your hoodie and sweats" I cracked up. You're so right, we will always struggle with certain aspects of our body image no matter what the scale says or what the tags on our clothes say, sometimes it will get the best of us, but MOST of the time, the time that counts we spend enjoying our new bodies and new abilities. You rock!! Linda PS. Have you heard from Carla??

Hey Gangsta Linda, How's it hanging? Ooops sorry ... wrong message board! Carla is doing great! You would not believe how wonderful she looks and is feeling!!! Yep, it is doing those things that our obesity held us from for so long that hold the sweetest rewards isn't it? So you have a hoodie also??? I snagged an old one of my sons that he was going to pitch because it was too small for him ... you should have seen the look on his face when he suddenly realized that his "big" mama was smaller than him! I love it! Now about the boxing .. LOVE IT LOVE IT LOVE IT!!! I told hubby that I did not realize that I had some pent up anger ... but when I start hitting the bag, I realized that I must have. I give it all I have and it feels wonderful! I think I had been hitting for a few weeks when I finally let go ... was doing the normal stuff when all the sudden I started really punching. Starting making some noises (grunts) that I did not know I could even utter and man oh man that bag was toast. In the middle of it all, I started crying, partly because of the sheer physical exhaustion, partly because of the realization of the blessing that I was able to do something that I had never ever even gave the slightest thought of doing because of my weight. And here I was not only doing it, but was REALLY doing it. Ya know? Anyway, it is a great outlet for me ... a calm, mild mannered woman ... socking the dickens out of something! What an image eh? Take care my friend! It has been such a pleasure watching your transformation! You chickie are the one who rocks! Hugs! Tammy

Thank you so much for that post. It brought a (joyful) tear to me eye. It is SO encouraging. I am just starting this journey. I have my initial consult next Thursday (5/12) with Dr. I. I check with this board often for encouragement and support. The people on this site never fail to shower this board with much needed words!!! Thank you Tammy, and Thank you ALL!!!! Stacey

Although I AM Irish...I meant...a (joyful) tear to MY eye. LOL

Ahhh thank you Stacey! Your words have made my day! Your initial consult will be here before you know it. Be prepared to ask all the difficult questions. Truly you will feel better after hearing Dr I's answers. I didn't really want to know, but had hubby with me who blurted out all those questions I preferred to hide from (you know the ole Ostrich with his head in the sand routine?) ... but was so glad he did. He blew away the national averages!!! It helped to give me a lot more peace about my decision and confidence in the ability of my doc and his team. BTW case you couldn't tell I think Dr I ROCKS! This is such an excellent practice, we are truly a blessed bunch to have them at our back door! I know of many that have had to travel the nation to secure a good doc ... again, we are so blessed. BTW - I had to chuckle at your Irish comment!!! Too cute! Hugs, Tammy

I love the post....How I became normal is a great title my twin. Its so good to hear such good things! You have reached out to so many and have really helped me with a lot of issues along the way....I hope that I can pass along as much as you have! I can't believe its been 18 mos. for you. It seems like yesterday when I started on these boards reading these great posts! Remember to always think small...one exception would be peeps...don't even think about them! LOL. This surgery has been a real big process. Yes we have our stomach operated on by a Dr but the rest is all us! We must always make the best of what we are given. Keep up the good work! Your Twin, Debbie PS... A new picture is on its way.....not sure when but I submitted one! Look for it in the near future. Okay I am halfway over one hurdle only 99 more to go!

Debbie, A new picture??? GREAT to see you stepping out of your comfort zone!!! Looking forward to seeing it. No one will recognize you, so don't change your name!!! Congrats on the hurdle ... Debbie, I am so very proud of you ... keep running, you can and will make the other 99!!! Thank you for your kind words, they mean a lot to me. And trust that you are already a rock and an encourager to those coming up behind you. I used to post a lot (as you already know) but now more often than not, I enjoy sitting back and watching the transformation of of everyone else as they go from being pre-op to being post-op and helping everyone else along the way. It is good to see so much encouragement and camaraderie on this board. You all are absolutely wonderful and so very special and it is such a blessing and honor to know each of you and to watch the bonds of friendships forming among you with those going through the same things and having that understanding that others, regardless of how much they love us, simply can not fully embrace. Like I said, such a sweet, sweet blessing. To all, please remember how you felt when you were brand new here ... and how you felt when you realized that you were part of something bigger, perhaps for the first time in your lives. Somewhere you actually fit, regardless of your size. And continue to welcome each and everyone that happens across this board with open arms and heartfelt concern. Likely you will be seeing me less and less as hubby is having his surgery next week and I will be on full time duty helping him recoup. But know that I am lurking and praying and rejoicing in each of your many wonderful accomplishments along the way. Please know that should you ever need anything from me, I am but a phone call or email away and will do all I can for you! I am honored to call you all friends!!! Many, many hugs to each of you! I love you guys! Tammy