I really need some encouragement.

I spend most of yesterday reading the Memorial page, and now I'm really beginning to reconsider having the surgery. I've known from the beginning that there are risks, but reading what happened to the individuals listed on that page really made it hit home. My co-morbidities are minor compared to some, obstructive sleep apnea, asthma, slightly elevated blood pressure, joint and back pain, and my BMI is only 53.1. So I know I'm not a high risk candidate, but still I'm frightened. For the last several days I've been having a really horrible feeling that I won't survive this surgery. I've had other surgeries before, and that thought came to mind but was fleeting. This time the surgery is much more complicated, and I'm having trouble rationalizing my way through the feeling of impending doom. I'm specifically worried about the frequency of pulmonary embolisms, pouch leakage and intestinal perforations. I haven't received a specific surgery date yet, but I was told by Dr. Wynn's office that it will be between April 18th and April 30th. I've decided to at least finish the process, and decide at my pre-op appointment whether or not to go through with the surgery. I intend to discuss all of this with Dr. Wynn, to ask her how she mitigates these risks, and to make my decision based on her answers. I could really use some words of encouragement, and from those of you post-ops, I would love to hear details of how these risks were mitigated by your surgeon.

Joni- Whether you end up having surgery, or decide against it, it's probably a good thing that you're considering the serious nature of the risks involved in this surgery. They're for real and going into it with an "it can't happen to me" attitude is probably the worst coping mechanism possible...because what if it does; not only are you completely unprepared, you're in denial. Consider everything seriously. Keep learning. Keep trying to lose weight on your own before surgery. Talk to the doctors. Find confidence in them, in yourself, and if you believe, in God. Look at the statistics again of the risks, and of death, and weigh them compared to the benefits. Are you willing to risk your life to regain your health? At the end of it, that's the question you're going to need to ask because that's what this surgery should be: a last resort after you and your doctors have tried every other means of becomming healthy, not just losing weight. Good luck in your questioning, searching, and learning. Whatever you decide, there are people here to help and to support you. I wish you peace as you struggle with this hard part in deciding whether this is the way to go for you, or not. -S

Well said Susane.... And I'm sorry they cancelled you at last minute. You are so well prepared that another week can only strengthen your resolve. Thinks happen for a reason I believe. Take care, T

I keep telling myself that...so thanks. It's encouraging to hear there are others behind me. And thank you for being so honest about your own trials...I really appreciate it and I know others must too. Peace - S

Thanks Suzane. I appreciate the validation and inspirational words. Keep your chin up, you're almost there! Joni

This is how I believe we have to feel, if we want to proceed. Yes, I know, since I'm really older and (maybe) wiser, that horrible things can happen from any medical procedure (I had a friend who almost died from bunion surgery!! Months of recovery etc.) But the healthier you are starting, the better your chances. They have to tell you all the risks, since they are real, but the percentages are small and most are minor. When I met with Dr. Peters, I kept after him with about a hundred questions about the lap band, risks, outcomes, etc. I feel strongly that the choice to have the surgery is a way to gain health strength and a longer life than remaining at this weight, continuing to grow through the years, dying early from any one of the comorbities, and turning into that statistic. Yes, its all very scary, but for now, for me, more scary to walk away than make this change...

Thanks for the encouraging words. I usually just lurk and read everyone elses posts, I'm so glad I posted, I'm starting to feel a little better.

Hi Joni, What Susane said! I too read the memorial pages ( I think most of us do ) and it's a good thing to take every possible scenario into consideration. I had my times of being very scared during the process. I had more than one meltdown deciding what choice to make. All I can say is that I got through it and ended up knowing it was the right thing for me to do. I asked a gazillion questions to Dr. Irgau and he patiently answered each one of them, I felt I was in very capable hands and that every effort and precaution was being taken to bring me to a successful outcome. For a bit of perspective, when I read those memorials over a year ago I noticed something. Alot of the complications had extenuating cir****tances. Many would have happened regardless of the type of surgery being performed. Some didn't state specifics and I really had no idea how well some of the people complied with their particular program, I didn't know how experienced their surgeon was, I didn't know what kind of follow-up care they received etc. Take a deep breath, relax and allow yourself the freedom to feel all the crazy emotions that go along with this. It's perfectly normal to feel this way. Take the time to question the docs, question other people about their experiences and get as comfortable as possible with your decision. You will end up knowing what's the best thing for YOU. I wish you much luck in the process and if I can do anything to help, please don't hesitate to ask me. Linda

Linda, I read your reply to my post, as well as your post from earlier and your profile. You are truly an insipration to me. Thank you so much, you've helped me more than you know. Joni

It's good that you are reading and researching every avenue available to you, research is good and is a wonderful tool in your decision making process. I too read everything that I could prior to my surgery. Most of the stories that you have been reading about are largely connected to major co-morbidities that probably would have happened at one time or another, or even happened with ANY surgery the person underwent. There are major risks with any surgery and WLS is no different. I think everyone that goes through this surgery has those doubts at one time or another -- you are about to undergo a life altering procedure that you need to be comfortable with and committed to. I too felt the same way you did, but the benefits far outweighed the risks. Not to say that I didn't have some complications, because I certainly did (you can read my profile), but I would do it again in a blink of an eye. I am nearly 2 years post-op and I feel and look better than I have in nearly 30 years. The one thing I CAN guarantee you is that Dr Wynn will stop at nothing to make sure you are OK in every aspect of the word. I could not have asked for better care -- they left no stone unturned to take care of me and for that I owe them my heartfelt gratitude. Today I am happy, and most importantly healthy because of the care I received. Remember it's good to question and be a little scared -- if not, you wouldn't be taking this seriously....... Good luck as you start your NEW life -- a year from now all your fears will be such a distant memory that you'll wonder why you even gave them any consideration other than just pure caution!!!!!