Any regrets???

Hi, I have my first appointment with Dr. Irgau on March 3rd and I have spent lots of time on this website reading messages and all I can about WLS surgery. I am concerned because all I read seems to be positive and I knew that can't be true for everyone! Anybody having a hard time adjusting to new eating habits? I am worried about eating out in resturants as I do so often with my friends and husband. How does that affect most of you. Am I going to lose my friends? Also what about losing hair. When does it happen and how bad is it? I hope this doesn't sound vain...these are things that are on my mind today. I am sure I will have more later. Thanks so much. E.S.

No regrets here!!! I had lots of problems in the beginning and wished that I had never had the surgery at first. But as everyone had told me... It gets better each and every day!! How right they were! I would go through what I did 10 times over just knowing that I would have the same results as I do today. I'm almost 2 1/2 years out and life has never been better! As for eating out in resturants... it's a little weird at first but as they say... it gets better with time. I've not lost any of my old friends... in fact I think I've made much more "new" friends! You will have hair loss, it usually hits about 4 months post-op. My hair loss was pretty drastic... you could certainly see my shiny scalp. But my hair grew back quickly and very healthy. I feel so good about this surgery that I tell everyone I can about it. I also had started a support group at my house over a year ago. Keep in touch and drop me a line anytime you need to chat. Good luck in your journey... remember, Sometimes Losing Is Really Winning!

Thank you so much for taking the time to respond. I just read your profile and you are amazing. I hope I have have the strength and courage you have. I will keep you posted on my progress. E.S.

Hi E, I can only speak for myself but to answer your questions: 1. I didn't have any trouble at all adjusting to my new eating habits. As a pre-op I was so looking forward to the control I was going to have. I really aproached it by embracing my new restrictions. For me it was a very joyful and welcome thing. 2. I eat in restaurants ALOT. I would say on average 3-4 times a week, most often for lunch and dinner, occasionally breakfast. Yesterday was hubby's birthday and a whole gang of us went to Texas Roadhouse. No problem. I don't bother with restaurant cards. I order what I want, eat what I can and either give the rest away, take it home or whatever. Social occasions involving food can be easy if you pay attention to what you're doing and plan a little. It gets easier the farther out you get. We also entertain alot at home for meals. Everything from traditional dinners, to buffets, to ordering pizza and having family game nights. All that stuff doesn't need to change, you will just adapt it to fit your new lifestyle. 3. I didn't lose any friends. I have been surrounded by the most wonderul, supportive peole you can imagine. LOL they ar as educated about the procedure as I am now! If I were to lose a friend because of losing weight, I guess I really wouldn't be losing much would I? True friends love you and want the best for you and will help you achieve your goals. people who try and undermine me and hurt me have no place in my life. 4. I am now almost 11 months out and I had hair loss like crazy. I did all the right things, lot's of protein, all my vitamins, zinc, Nioxin shampoo, biotin etc, and it still fell out. Sometimes alarmingly so. Buuuut now it has stopped, everything I lost is coming back and despite my fears I didn't go bald. I figured if I did go bald, oh well, it's alot easier and healthier to camoflage a bald head than it is to hide and deal with the consequences of a 300 pound body! I was just gonna buy a cute hat and move on It is so normal to have all this stuff on your mind, and asking questions is the best way to get through it. Everyone's experience is different. I got my life back. Instead of falling asleep in a chair and huffing and puffing up and down the stairs of my house, last night I went out to dinner and then went cosmic bowling with my teenage kids, hubby and sis in law and her kids! Best of luck to you in your journey! Linda

Thanks so much, Linda

Hello, I think all your concerns are very normal. I am now almost 17 mths and have to tell you the first 4 to 6 weeks were the most difficult. I think because your mind still plays games with unger and cravings. I do not regret having the surgery one bit. I have lost 136lbs am now 133lbs wearing a size 6 to 8 petite and am able to be more active then I have ever been. My only problem has been developing ulcers but I still am happy I went through with the gastric bypass. I truly believe this surgery not only works on you physically but lso mentally. It seems your mind is somehow transformed when you wake up from surgery and all the cravings do end up going away. I did go through a very short "mourning" period but it did not last long and it was this message board and all the people I have met through this surgery who helped me through it. There is a time once in a great while now where I kind of miss eating all the food at one sitting especially the holidays when the food you dont have the rest of the year is served but I deal with it fine. I have heard of people not adjusting afterwards but I think the support and after care Wynn and Irgua offer is what helps us all. There are no better docs then Irgua and Wynn, they are the best and offer the best care possible. Good Luck! JUst think the whole surgery through to make sure you will be able to adjust. Peace~~ Hope

E.S. Welcome! No regrets at 5 1/2 months out. I feel better than I have in years..40 lbs to go to goal! I've not had any problems or hair loss (yet...). I eat out a couple of times a week and yes, there are foods I have problems with still, so I tend to avoid them..but you learn this and life goes on. Still have all my friends and everyone seems to be on board. Best of luck in your journey. Valerie

My only real regret is that I was not able to lose my weight on my own. But I am so very thankful to Dr Irgau, Dr Wynn and Brett for helping me do what I could not accomplish on my own. Truly I owe my life to them. You don't sound vain, you sound like you have some legitimate concerns, and understandably so. Many post ops do lose some hair, but I have yet to hear of one who did not grow it back. And eating out can be somewhat of a trial in the beginning, especially when you are just relearning to eat. But given a little time and practice, you become pretty good at it. And friends ... I guess if you lose them, then they really were not friends after all. But something I have noticed ... since I have lost, I have become less of a doormat. I have come to value myself I guess because I won't stand around and let others treat me in a way that I would not treat someone else ... does that make any sense ... anyway, i said that to say, that yes, sometimes "friendships" do change, but that is not always a bad thing. I wish you the best with your decision. This one really is a biggie!!! BTW - congrats on your consult with Dr I ... truly he is one of the best in the country!!! Hugs, Tammy

Hi E.S. You are right, most of what you read on here is the positive.. "wow, how great I am doing, and how wonderful it all is". Well, I'm not in the boat. I regret wls because even though I lost 100#, I'm still far from a goal weight. At 7 months, I stopped losing, re-gained my appetite, am hungry most of the time, and never get the full feeling. I also never dump. I had the bypass instead of the lap band so I would have the constraints of the small pouch and hopefully I'd have the side effect of dumping on things I wasn't supposed to eat. Neither pouch constraints nor dumping work for me. So, here I am, exactly in the same place I was 13 months ago. A little smaller, but I have all the same food issues I've had all my life. I don't know how someone can change 40+ years of food addictions, but I haven't given up. I'm working on it, and every day is a battle. I regret the surgery, because I'm in the same place I was prior, and after reorganizing my whole insides, I'm not so sure it was worth it. No one really knows what the long term side effects are going to be. We know about the vitamin etc malabsortion. But I'm sure there is going to be much more the further post op we all get. I've already found that EGD's are going to be a way of life from now on. Lots of people get ulcers, and inflamation of their pouch and stoma and will have to have meds and follow ups for life. Also, I had severe cystitis in my breasts that was seen in a mamogram. I also had calcifications and had to have a biopsy. (negative, thank God). but I'm told this is from the rapid weight loss and the flood of estrogen into our systems from the shrinking fat cells. This is the first I've voiced my regrets publicly. A lot of folks here know how I struggle, but after all this.. this is my advice to you. If you decide to get wls, work with a therapist now, and start on the mental aspects of your weight. 2nd do not EVER test the sugar limits of your body, just believe that any sugar will make you dump and never even try it. 3rd, Use the first 6 months to your full advantage. Exercise all you can, and eat exactly the way you are supposed to. You don't know if/when the honeymoon will be over. Like we all say.. this is just my thoughts and personal issues. Thanks for asking the question too.. I waivered as to whether to respond or not, it really made me think about how I feel about it all. Take care, and good luck. T

Tina, Thank you so much for your honesty. I really appreciate it. I know it is hard and there is so much to think about. I hope things start turning around for you. Keep trying. Thanks again. E