I'm on the fence - you guys are SO great!

I've been reading everyone's profiles and posts over and over and over since Friday. What a great group this Delaware board is. I just wanted to say how unbelievably helpful it's been to read your stories. I'm moved by the generosity of spirit and willingness to share even personal feelings and information. After reading everything I still can't make that leap and say, "yes, I'm going to do it"!!!!. I believe if I do, Dr's Irgau and Wynn are great, grateful I don't have to go through the angst of searching for competence. I'm stuck on the possible GI complications, the worry of eating right and making such a permanent commitment - I've been on such a perpetual diet for the past 10 years I'm not worried about missing food or depriving myself. I'm not even worried about the possibility of dying. I'm worried about having to constantly think about food - getting enough in, the protein, the vitamins etc. And I've read of so many people developing ulcers, stomach pains, dumping, digestion problems, strictures etc I'm not sure I want to add one more health problem to my list of present problems. I need desperately to lose weight. I'm 125 lbs overweight. I have no energy and about 5 comorbidities that would improve with weight loss. I despise the way I look and find myself avoiding social activities because of it. I have no energy -heck, you guys understand this... Last year I had breast reduction surgery - I planned and researched it for years, the pre op prep isn't a whole lot different than WLS - insurance approval, finding a good doc, weighing the complications against benefit etc. To make a long story short I have regrets - the disfigurement causes me embarrassment, I still have pain, have to always were a binding bra, hate the shape, scars and look of my "new" breasts and exercise doesn't come any easier. I do have benefits - less neck pain, sleep is more comfortable... but I think my expectations were too high. I expected to exercise more, have more energy, feel better about myself. My plastic surgeon has been kind but her answer is always that I'd be happy with "them" and the pain would go away if I lost weight. (she says the dog ears under my arms pull on the healthy breast tissue) says it's the weight that makes them out of proportion. I worry I'll feel the same way after WLS - are my expectations too high? I realize this sounds a lot like whining. I apologize in advance - I'm normally a very very positive, optimistic person. I have 2 great kids and a wonderful husband of 26 years who is the love of my life. He'll support me no matter what I decide. The dear handsome 6'2" 175 lb man (the only benefit of my constant dieting is my husband has lost weight and maintained it for 6 years) says my weight doesn't matter to him except for the health consequences. The idea of feeling healthy and being thin almost seems to good too be true...... does anyone understand this or have similar feelings? Thank you all SO much, Karen

I understand completely and a lot of what you said are things that I had to resolve in myself about this surgery. It took me 2 years to come to this decision and be comfortable with it. There are things I will miss. I can name them but basically I think I will miss the freedom that I have sit around the card table with friends and just eat junk if i want or go drinking with my buddies if I want... It's not the food or alcohol I will miss, but the freedom to do so. And yes, I know that after I'm a ways out that freedom, as far as my body is concerned, to much degree will be back BUT, mentally? No, I'm not going to go through this to throw all the work away. I'm not going to go through the risks of surgery to put myself in the risk of it not helping. That make sense? Anyway, what I am trying to say is just simply YES. I do understand and YES I have felt this way. It is a major surgery and a major lifestyle change. One I had to accept within me before I even called for my consult. Keep reading, keep learning, keep talking to people who have had this surgery (I am pre-op). Learn the good, learn the bad. Learn the risks of having the surgery and learn the risks of not having the surgery and living with your co-morbidities. Write down all the pros and cons of both, that will help you put things into perspective. And most of all. Lean on your family and friends.... and your new friends here at the Delaware Board Gigee

Only you can make your decision on this surgery. However, I must say I had my share of complications and I will tell you.... I would do it again in a heartbeat. My "new" life is way much better than I had even imagined. Keep us posted on your journey and good luck! Post op 9/11/02 -124 lbs size 28 to 8

Karen, What Gigee suggests is the best way to go about this. From my experience (at 4.5 months out), I have had 0 problems or issues. Do I think about food? Yes, but, each time I put a doughnut in my mouth (or 2 or 3) or ate a bag of M&M's in the afternoon, after my big lunch, then came home to eat a big dinner and then have a huge bowl of ice cream and probably something else before bed...I was thinking about food. Just not in the same way. Do I think about food today? Sure, but not like the 1st few months. Mostly, I analyze mid day what I have eaten and how many protein grams I have for the day and what I need to do to get me to my gram goal by days end. I don't stress over it like I did the first few months. It becomes habit, a good habit, rather than the previous bad habits. As I've said before, this decision has got to be yours and it should come from both your heart & your head. I am so grateful for the surgery and my comorbities have eased up and yes, I am healthier than I have been in years. The weight loss has slowed (I've lost just over 1/2 of my weight), so it's time for me to really get to the gym, buckle down and start counting calories or fat intake. But, I'm not upset over it. I know that the 1st 60lbs were 'easy' compared to the last 45lbs. You'll figure everything out in the end and we'll be here to chat with you along the way. Take care, Valerie

Hi Karen, Welcome to the boards. This decision is a hard one to make. The best advice that I can tell you is too do as much research as possible. I do not regret having this surgery for one second. I even developed an ulcer, which is completely healed. I am just over a year post op. I have officially lost 1/2 of my body weight prior to surgery. I now wear a size 4 instead of 28. Prior to this surgery I suffered from severe asthma, sleep apnea, high blood pressure. migraines and many aches and pains. I am off all medicines, no longer have asthma, high blood pressure or sleep apnea. I workout with a personal trainer and exercise constantly. I finally am living life instead of just existing. The vitamins and protein become second nature after a few months. I am very aware of the amount of protein that I consume each day. It's very easy now, because I have developed a routine. I occassionally miss food, but now have the ability to think before I act. I was not capable of doing this prior to surgery. I now know that my actions have consequences. Send me an email if you would like to chat. Best wishes, Debbie

Thank you SO much for your answers. They really mean a great deal, particuarly from those of you who have had complications. I appreciate your frankness and generosity in taking time to post. I'm so glad I found this group. Delaware is such a small state... At work today I told one of the other nurses I was thinking about doing this. She told me someone at her church had it done a year ago and really looks fabulous. Said she told her she was starting to look sexy... I'm betting she's on this board. Karen