One complaint - My husband is acting like a real jerk!

Cassandra, I know how you feel. My husband it the non-sensitive type at times as well. I bend over backwards for him and then dont always get anything in return. Well a thank you sometimes. Some days he can be so nice and not mind doing things at all for others...but majority he does NOT like to be inconvenienced. Don't you worry about it right now. You focus on getting better and healing and getting strong again. Just ignore his disrespect for now. You are going to be dropping that weight like crazy and your self-respect will soar He'll most likely start to notice that and shape up. If not then there are issues counseling may help resolve if he would do it because it would be an insecurity issue for him. I wish I could get my guy to go to meetings but hes to "manly" for that. Whatever... His views on things like that are all askew! (((hugs))) Hang in there! Elizabeth M

Hi Cassandra: I just had to respond to your note. Hang in there. I had to contain myself after reading your despair before I started typing. I am 53 and never married and am so glad I am single. I am preparing myself for changes in relationships as I continue to lose weight. Many of my female friends are even starting to act a little strange since I've lost weight. Boyfriends and husbands, I can only imagine, will probably start to feel more threatened than usual with change. Their insecurities are enough to drive you crazy if you let them. Believe me, I'm not a man hater and I would love to be married and have someone to share my life with, but I get more love than I can handle when I come home and my little dog Pumpkin just loves and licks me so much, it makes up for any bad day I could ever have and I feel like a million bucks!!. I get no back talk or grief from a man or my teenaged daughter, just unconditional love. Take care of yourself. I think a support group is offered for changes in relationships. I can't wait until they offer it again. Ruth Kelly

Firt of all, Cassandra let me give you a big hug (HHHHUUUGGG) and say that you are supported here. You see when the men in our lives see us wanting to change, they believe that they are going to lose you. Nor will they commnuicate that to you...Just have attitude... I was told by a guy I was seeing not to long ago that If I ever get the WLS, he was going to act like a jerk and then probably leave me. It's a fear that they have because they thought that as long as BBW you were settled and that they didnt have to worry about no other man trying to sweep you off your feet. Needless to say, I told him "If you appreciate what you have in front of you and you care deeply about me like you said you did, then I am not going anywhere;rather I make changes for the better." Well I guess you guys know where he is at.....lol So what I am trying to say is, "Just Do You" for now. Concentrate on reaching your weight goal and dont let nothing stop you now. You have come this far. As far as your husband, assure him that you are going to be "OK" and he has nothing to worry about. Just give him time to see the change in you. Time will only tell..... I'll keep you in prayer as you recover too..... Lys

So sorry Cassandra, my (((hugs))) to you. I am kind of leary about my husband. Although my surgery is not until 1/25/05 I can only imagine how it is going to be. My husband already thinks because of the change that I am going to cheat on him, so I can only imagine that I may have to come on here and vent. Keep hanging on, you have other things that you need to concentrate on then letting him bring you down.