One complaint - My husband is acting like a real jerk!

There! I said it! I'll say it again. My husband is acting like a real jerk! Pay me no mind. I have to vent or I'll completely explode! Husband got angry with me because I was able to be discharged from the hospital on 1/5 on time (instead of his guess that I'd be late). Then, fresh from the hospital, he decides to run an errand for himself. Nevermind that I'm sitting there feeling every bump and turn. He didn't want to hear my "selfish" complaining. Well, I was too sick to complain. He ran his errand BEFORE we stopped to pick up my Actigall and Tylenol with Codeine. Incredible. This morning, his latest complaint was that he was being manipulated because my Mom needed a ride to 30th Street Station in Philly and he only felt like taking her to the Chester SEPTA station. Oh. I'm sorry. Did I mention that my Mom used up her vacation time to come down here and stay by my side and be my patient advocate since husband didn't think it was worth him taking time off? Did I also forget to mention that she cooked and cleaned for him as well as took care of me? Finally, did I overlook the fact that the travel plans had been discussed the night before and he just FORGOT! He was in a pissy mood this morning and I ended up in tears. My Mom made it back to North Jersey but she said it was difficult not to smack my husband for being such a jerk. I know exactly how she feels. I know that this has been a big change for all of us but he has no right to take out his anger, fear or frustration out on my Mom and certainly not on me. This doesn't bode well for his odds as I grow stronger in my recovery! The better I feel, the less likely I am to roll over and take his crap with a smile. Thanks for letting me vent. I had to get it out or I was going to attack him! Thanks, Cassandra Surgery Date-1/3/05

Hi Cassandra, I haven't been on the boards lately, but thought you needed a hug (((HUGS))), so there you go. I pray that your situation will improve. All changes takes time. Right now you should concentrate on getting well. Also FYI, There are four train four train stations in Delaware. I take them daily into work, ONe in Newark, Churchman's Crossing which is located right outside of Delaware Park (the entrance is near the hospital), Wilmington and Claymont. That way your mother can come and get on and off closer to you. ~Shelly

Shelly, So how are you doing? Are you behaving? Good, bad or ugly? I think your emotions are very normal. My husband kept asking Brett, and the Doctor's "What happened to the girl he brought to the hospital" ? LOL. I guess I am more assertive now. I guess he's gotten used to the new me cause "What you see is What you get" I am usually a half full kinda person. My cup is rarely half empty. I made up my mind I'm gonna be up & happy or die. Hang in there. If you have a rough day, so what. You are allowed to a little cranky at times. Don't beat yourself up too much. If it happens too much though talk to your Doctor. ((HUGS)) Elissa

Thanks Elissa, It helped to hear everyone else's view at the support group meeting. I am glad I brought up the issue, because after the meeting a few individuals came up to me and said they were going through the same stuff. I am back on track, FULLY with eating and exercise!!! Only eating 3 meals a day, limiting my snacks to protein and I work out every morning now, 5:30 am with 45 minutes cardio and then I meet with a group for strength training for 45 minutes. So, getting back on track w/ my exercise is helping dramatically. I do have an appointment w/ my doctor Jan 13 so I'll see what she says. Other than that all is well!!! I like the half empty comment .Thanks Elissa for checking up on me. Have a great day. ~Shelly

Sorry Cassandra, I didn't realize you lived in Delaware, Duh!!! I see why he went to Chester. ~Shelly

Am I crazy or what, I mean didn't realize you lived in Chester

Cassandra, It's going to be okay...relax, release, and relate! It's okay to come here and vent.....Please don't allow this to upset you....you have enough to worry about now your home....just focus on YOU for now....everything else will fall in place. And yes your emotions/reactions can be a little more sensitive now...Boy do I know (smile). (((HUGS))) Shay

Hey there you are Shay!!!

Hello Cassandra, Welcome to the Looser's side. How are you doing on the pureed foods. I'll bet you took the longest & best shower after you got home. Wonderful sleeping in your own bed isn't it? Totally missed sending in the clowns with emails, so sorry. Did you have an angel? We all missed the boat on you. I am soooooo sorry dear. You really need to have an angel so you can call, talk to , vent or whatever. Thank God for Mother's. I hope your Mom is back in her own home now, safe and sound. Is she okay with you since your surgery? Husbands can sometimes be too insensitive. Sounds like the case? Since you have been given loads of mind eraser drugs, this will pass. They do say that if you have a good marriage the WLS will make it better. If you have settled and don't have such a good one, sometimes it will end. I will keep you in my prayers so that you will recover from the surgery and become healthier. My husband kept asking the Doctor's what happened to the woman he left at the hospital. They sent someone else home. LOL. If you have any questions, give me a email & I'll send you my number. I am just over the DE/PA line. See you at the meeting on Monday night? You won't be able to drive, so if you need a ride, let me know by Sunday. ((HUGS)) Elissa

This is why spouses and significant partners need to attend the pre-training and preparation classes. If we expect for them to help us along the weigh then we need to help to prepare them. Luckily even though I don't deserve them, I've got two built in angels at my house. Lot of changes happening so sometimes you just need to breathe deep and smile. And then start walking... Perspective from the 20%, Rob