Feeled pulled and pushed

Hey all just me, its Christmas morning 6am, MERRY CHRISTMAS!!! I feel like I should prolly still be sleeping, but only on workdays dO....can I sleep in. LOL Anyways guys I have (hubby just got up....shadow behind me ..hehe) problem...delima.....i dunno something...descion. OKie here goes get ready.. if you have followed my post any (even stumbled upon counts too) you know some of my story, well up til now...I had reasearched and educated myself on the bypass surgery (height 5'5'',weight 277lbs). I totally understood that for 16-24 months you should not become pregnant (so far thats not a problem, hehe), but many have and been okie. I have also seen that many women as soon as 6weeks post op end up preg, not saying that would be, just laying the foundation. So I had a consultation (Dr. Peters) on the 20th of Dec. went well (found I had many more co-morbids then i had known) he said i would be a good canidate, he suggested the Lap-band (due to my age 24, and the fact that my hubby and i want kids in the future) anyhow getting to the point, so i called around get apts set, figuring by the time i get all my clearances done I may be approved for surgery by March or even April and that was okie with me. So i called St. Francis to see about their class' -as Dr. Peters had suggestes b/c they are cleaper then Christiana, when they phoned me back things went into high gear and they said they wanted me to move all my already scheduled Apps up and that i would have the surgery by end of Feb, a lil' scary, want expecting that. Now i know my insurance covers Lap-band (didnt investigate bypass...didnt feel i needed to) but as i read and spent time the lap-band forum I see some unhappy ppl, ppl who are not seeing results, and i dont wanna be one of those ppl, i mena thats the problem now, i dont see results when i exerise and such. Now i have to go through just as much clearances as bypass patients, yet recovering time is way diffenent and i admit less invasive sugery seems less scary. you know what i mean? My hubby seemed less spooked with that also. Here is my thing, Yes i want a baby (been trying 4 years) but i can wait, if it means losing this weight, I can;t see going thorugh all this with no results (5 months post op and losing 50lbs--- this seems to be athe average) I have been trying to explian how i feel and the things i have read on all the forums (preg one also--85% of those pregs women are bypass patients and most the lap-bands still going "we are still trying") I don't feel he is listening to me, I understand the surgery (either of them) to be a tool, but lets be honest if you could lose(JUST numbers) 75lbs in 3 months or MAYBE 50 in 5months what sounds better (yes they say in 5 years both surgies result in the same amount of weight lose) and reearch has shown bypass to be more "fertility awakening" then lap, what would you do?? HUbby says, I agree with the doctor many you would lose more then those other ppl ( oh c'mon it was't one person i was reading it was everyone saying, they didnt see (scale) differnce) and i would feel for your overall health if you had bypass ( i feel he is being selfish). If say i went with the bypass and my health was affected (longer stay in the Hos) i feel i would never hear the "i told you so" ending and just MAYBE not get as much acare form hubby at home as needed cause he ould be mad at me or some crap, he says he stands behind me no matter what, but he DOES NOT want me to get the bypass. I feel so lost you have no idea, well maybe someone out there does. am i the only one looking at the big picture?? am i crazy??? to sum up, i dont feel i will achieve the weight loss desired with lap-band and i feel the rigamoroll would be in vain. if anyone can understand where i coming from plz help me?? -christina

Hey Christina ... hi, hon. You sound very frustrated. All I can tell you is that gastric bypass does not neccessarily involve lengthy hospital stays. In fact I just had mine on Monday and was home by Wed. noon (and only because I had to wait for my huz to to leave work ... I was ready and able to go by 9:00 a.m.!) This is the case for the majority of people who do have their bypass done laparascopically. Most folks with GB average a stay of of 2-3 days! However, sometimes, it has to be done "open", which naturally involves a longer hospital stay. It's true that the band has a slower success rate, therefore I was not a candidate. My weight is literally killing me and I did not have the luxury of time or possible failure. Either way, it is invasive surgery and both carry risk of complication. I have a friend who had the band and she is doing very well. Her loss has been slower than a typical bypass patient but it has been steady. Remember both procedures are done laparascopically (thus the word "lap" for lap band) It's the actual work that is different. The GB is more extreme, but that's exactly what I needed. My true first choice was the duodenal switch, which was not available. Fortunately, I chose Irgau whose track record and skills are amazing and who is genuinely concerned for his patients as human beings. This post may not not have helped a bit...the decision is yours. Examine your health status carefully. Be honest with yourself in determining what path to take. I hope the very best for you, Christina! Take care! Maxi

I can understand you completely...I went throught infertilty treatments for 6 years trying to have our second child. The desire for a child can really tug at your heart. I did get pregnant(actually 3 times...) I was obese..and well..there are so many issues when you are pregnant. My last child..who will be three in Feb..I had gestational diabetes and I did lose weight while pregnant..but, I hated that with each of my pregnancies..that people weren't sure if I was just fat or pregnant. I wish I could experienced..a more normal look during pregnancy. Also, my last baby was a c-section..and it was very tough on me. I had problems with my incision..apparently it was because of the fat I had..it was harder for it to heal. This is going to be a big decision for you..I would email Kathy V if I was you and get some insight on her pregnancy post surgery. Bottom line, you want to be healthy when you are pregnant..all the complications are not worth it. So, take this decision..like you are doing..getting informed and making the best choice for you. I didn't do lap for the reason you stated..I was afraid I wouldn't be happy with the slower results. I've been thrilled with my results so far with lap gastric by-pass. Just a little note..I had my first child at 28, second at 35, and last at 37..so, you have plenty of time to have your children..take this time for you right now...(I know that easier said then done...) You are not crazy..I think you are very smart to be concerned and looking for your answers. Continue your research..you will know when you are ready to decide on lap or gastric by-pass. Have a merry christmas!! Hugs, Kimberly

Hi, I can't really add about the pregnancy.. but I want to add that I had the GB opposed to the lap band, because I wanted the restrictions of the bypass..and wanted the dumping syndrome, I didn't think I could do it without.. Well, I had GB, and I don't have any restrictions with amount or kinds of foods and I never dump. I've lost weight, but not near what I would have wanted. What I'm trying to say, it trust your instincts, and the doctors. You are very young to have such a drastic body change, and wanting children is something to be considered in your choice. You say most people who have gotten pregnant have had GB, but maybe the Lap banders haven't all posted or been public about getting pregnant eh? Only you can make the choice that is right for you. What ever you decide, it will all be good. take care and good luck. & Merry Christmas! T

Hey this is my first time here and I can tell you I feel your pain through and through. My husband and I went through the whole infertility process also. I am going for the GB and that is because I want a permanent change. As far as the pregnancy thing I researched it and found that the reason that they say to wait for 2 years is for the health of you and the baby. It will take your body about 2 years to clearly adjust to the permanent change that was made to your body and also the way you get your nutrients processed to you and the baby. Before that 2 year point it is possible that with getting pregnant you could have serious complications with you or the baby or both of you. Just like anything else there is that chance that all will be fine sooner also but for someone like you who understands what it is to wait and to want a child so desperatley I ask you is it worth the risk. Since going through the whole process my husband and I decided to adopt children and we are going to finalize on three beautiful children soon. My point is if you want the gb for the reason of losing the weight quicker to get the desired result of a pregnancy, you should wait the 2 years for you and the baby's sake. So if you have to wait the time anyways do what your heart tells you as far as your choice in the 2 surgerys. At your height and weight no matter which surgery you have you should easily be at your desired weight within 2 years. So the question really is which surgery will make you comfortable, and hopefully your husband will get onboard and realize that this is your body and your choice and he should do the right thing scared or not and hold your hand in support and love so that you both can live with this decision. Now don't get me wrong I sympathize with your husband because he obviosly loves you and supports you but if you choose lap for him and you really wanted gb than there will always be that question in your mind. What If? My husband just lost his mother this year due to a surgery so he is TERRIFIED for me to have this surgery and he loves me at this weight anyways but he realizes that this is something that I have to do for me and for my family, so that I can live a happier healthier life. Take your time and make the right decision for you and your family but remember start with you first!!!

Thanx everyone, Believe me when i say i am TRYING to think of me first and you'll had very valid points and that's extacly why I posted so maybe I could see things from another angle, however reading everything .... I know i can;t expect anyone else to make the descion for me..not even hubby. It is true that if i stay on board and get the band done that I will always wonder and i hate to say it but also may have some bad feelings towards hubby, you know what i mean? As some of you said with my weight and height I MAY still get the desired results--I think that's what hubby is crossing his fingers about, saying i should just stick withthe band and not go for bypass, that I CAN do this and make it work for me. I don;t have your post right in front of me(afraid to back click, might lose this post..lol ) I can see your face but not your name (in my head) you said something on the lines of going through with bypass b/c you didn't think you would be able to stay true to the weight loss. I feel that is my hardest task to conquer, I feel that with the band i might not stay AS true as I would have to with bypass. thank you for sharing your true thoughts about wanting to dump, but yet your body is okie with some things. Maybe that is the answer...hidden in the cloulds of thought, just cause other ppl (wide % of ppl ) do dump doesnt mean i would, thus not countering my own actions, and then the bypass would be in vain, but i would be "stuck" if you will. Does that make any sense to anyone??? OMG, we are so ready to have a child....LOL this will sound so depressing and anal, but we have the names already picked out, and we have some girl and boy clothes we bought when we were out, we have a box started figuring when we get there we WILL be ready, maybe that is my own therepy. About the "look" I DON'T want to be the fat mom..... i mean i want ppl to see the difference and i dont wanna to stand on the sidelines of my babies....kids life b/c I am heavy..NO WAY!!!! Thanx 4 listening..I always seem to write a book....LOL MERRY X-MAS TO ALL.... -christina

Christina, Hope all is well. Its DEFINITELY a hard call to make. I would really really take the doctor's suggestion to heart. I think they really and truly have our best interests at heart. I personally chose the RNY because I wanted the dumping syndrome. I knew that I really needed that tool. Although that "dumping syndrome" is null and void with some things. Yep I can eat a donught and not dump!!! I can eat hard candy and not dump...twislers and such! YEP totall NONOS!!! SO just remember getting the rny does not mean you will definitely dump. I DO dump on other things... like ice cream and cheese cake or rich things...also if I overdo the donught thing or twisler thing... its all in moderation but some items I cannot at all. so I am thankful for those. I definitely need the nauseous feeling. I have seen two people here at my work who have had the band ... they really really struggle. They lost alot of weight but never got to their goal and gained some back and are struggling with snacking and such. BUT remember that is just some people not all people. Others are very successful. Definitely listen to the doctor and really talk it over with him. Find out why he thinks that having the lap band is better. I do know that you will be able to absorb your vitamins and nutrients better and dont have as much of a worry about deficiencies in the future. I sometimes wonder if I should have had band just for that reason. RNY means supplements NO MATTER WHAT FOR LIFE! You will never be normal! Always will need the vitamins! so definitely keep that in mind as well. Read up a storm and best wishes on your journey! Elizabeth M