Could use your help please

Hi all, Ok, this is hard to explain but I need to try because I had a bit of a moment tonight that blind sided me a bit. As you know I have been really busy lately with the kids, house stuff, marching band, moms taxi...you name it. I do get down time for myself tho too so it's all good. When I first had surgery, I went through some strange feelings in the first few days of feeling somehow "altered" That's the only way i can describe it. It weirded me out some but eventually it passed. It's a total mental thing. Tonight I was at football and the crowd was big and we were really busy, I was having a great time. Later on I was standing watching the band do it's final thing and out of the BLUE I got this really uncomfortable strange feeling come over me. For some reason all I could think of was my surgery and that my body is different inside and it felt kind of ...I don't know...icky. I looked at people around me and felt strange. I felt strange about food, about my new inner arrangement and just all of it. Nothing physical at all, this was ALL an emotional thing. I forced myself to focus and told myself it was no different than having any other procedure to fix something that wasn't working properly. It didn't last long but it was a really REAL feeling if that makes sense. I have been more than ok physically so far, but this mental thing has snuck up on me twice now. I know I'm rambling, lol sorry, it's been a long day. I don't know if I'm being clear as to how I felt but was just wondering on the off chance if anyone has gone through anything similar? Just curious. All that aside, it was a great night and the chili pan is empty. Success! Linda

Hi Linda, Sorry to hear no chili left. I was really in the mood too. Have you ever experiences anxiety or claustrophobia? I have a couple times and it kinda sounds like what you are describing. Maybe a little anxiet with the crowd mixed in. Course I'm no Doctor, just human. Check with the Dr's. I bet they'll recognize the symtoms and put a handle on it. Maybe a lite dose of meds. Of course us " SUPER MOM'S" can and have a right to get tired and take a relaxation day for ourself. I used to be a Super Mom, now I am a "Sandwich Mom." I have my Mother, my husband, the kids & grandkids. Most of the time I spend in the middle of the menagerie and on call. In any 1 day I might be dealing with 1 or all 3. There is rarely a day when I can relax. I really don't know how I worked 2 jobs at once. Was I crazy? That's why I enjoy my vacations so much. I get the chance to get away from most of my daily stresses. The gym and exercising is helping, however I do take my Mother with me 2 days a week. Oh and I did start to back to work. 2 days a week at a retirement home in their Beauty Shop. Just to get out more and not be so accessable. Course keep $$ in my pocket too. Think I'm going to like it so far. My jourey keeps taking twists & turns. I vote we schedule that relaxation Day, Butterfly Day, Smoothie making Day soon. Sounds like we're gonna need one. ((HUGS)) Elissa

Dear Linda, This surgery was a HUGE event in our lives. Rationalize it all we want with knowing that it is just a "laproscopic surgery", it is a major surgery. This surgery does change us both inside and out and does it quickly too for all the world to see the manifestation of the change. (Now I'm rambling), But what I am trying to say is that there are alot of changes you will go through as you adjust to those changes. I would encourage as always to discuss it with your primary doctor, but also don't be too hard on yourself. You are carrying alot of "stressers" and when something is bothering you sub-conciously it has strange times to let us know that we are bothered by it. Like in the middle of a football game. All in all look at how far you've come and where you are still going and realize it is O.K. to take some down time just for you. I live a very busy life with alot of people who pull on me for different issues and when I knew that I was going to have this surgery I pulled back from some of my activities and responsibilities for a short time just so that I could concentrate on me because I knew that I was laying a foundation for the future. I needed time to get myself "into" this new lifestyle with eating, exercising, planning, discipline, etc. This really helped me alot and laid that firm foundation that I can now build on. Be encouraged we all have "moments" and just as long as these "moments" don't become Hours or days you're doing fine. But be sure to mention it to your doctor too. Off my soapbox, but wishing you well, God Bless, Mama

Hey Lady, I can certainly understand the feelings that you were having, it's kind of strange to me too at times to think of what is exactly different inside of us and what it will bring in the next 10-20 years. Why it hit you like this last night.. who knows. But like you said, it's something that needed to be fixed in order for us to have a better life. Glad the chili was a success and you had fun at the football game. And I'm really impressed that you said you get time for yourself too.. you GO! Take care Linda.. T

Hope the icky feeling is gone! I've had the same feelings - looks like others can relate too. We went from not being like "every body else" becasue of our size and now we are more "normal" on the outside - but only becasue we are not like "everybody else" on the inside... it's definately a head thing and anxiety is no fun. If it only happens to you very occasionally then it is probably not something to "worry" abotu & is very natural. If it happens alot - may I introduce you to my friend Zoloft... which kicks anxiety in the butt Either way, your are not alone in those feelings & they are natural, I hope you were still able to enjoy the game & plan on making all of us some of that chili - soon! I'm in Elkton you know - I'll come & get it!

Wow, this sounds familiar. I'm always running from one job to the other, and running the kids around, and all of the other things of life. I've had that strange feeling of being different on the inside. I've convinced myself that it is something to be proud of. I did this to help myself!!! and make myself more healthy. AND IT IS WORKING!!! Wish I had more time to hang out here and attend support meetings, I really miss the meetings. Back to work! Ken

Hi Linda, I sometimes think about my chopped up insides I start to feel guilty like I messed with God's creation or something. I start to have that anxiety... the... what if's... for what may happen "long term" But then I realize that its a blessing in my life not a curse that this is happening and I thank God everyday that He has given me a chance to live my life. I also have that anxiety at work. I start thinking to myself "ok everyone looks at me now as the person that had weight loss surgery" and not looking at me Beth, you know. Elevators are the WORST for me. As I am sure they are uncomfortable for many many people. I start to feel SUPER self consious and then my surgery just runs through my mind and I start imagining all this stuff about what they are thinking of me and how I am different. etc... yep in just those little seconds!!! haha... but I know what you mean. Its a big...huge, change for us a major surgery that we went through. I can honestly and truly say, and this may sound flaky, but honestly I do breathing exercises every single day. I constantly remind myself that my body is healing and that my insides are totally healed and I am on my way to a very healthy new me. I say that to myself while I am doing my deep breathing exercises. I truly feel that without doing those exercises I would have had a harder time with everything. It keeps me focused and it physically gets that oxygen to the much needed areas! Just a thought that maybe you could try breathing. (sounds funny doesn't it?) In fact I do them throught my day. In through the nose very deeply and out the mouth. God knows we all have so much stress in our lives due to our change I wish you the best and hang in there! ((hugs)) Elizabeth M

First of all, hope it's behind you now... #2 Did someone look at you different, maybe you felt someone who knows about surgery was in judgement of you. You can't change what people think. But I think that you are comfortable with yourself. You are an icon here. #3 Was everyone else eating a donut or funnelcake? #4 We always used to feel different. Used to be because we were always hoping that we weren't the biggest person in the room... What Elizabeth said was quite deep, too. I guess there are times we have to deal with differences although our bodies are starting to "blend in" now. Glad to see you are still enjoying life. Dianne

Linda, It is the dreaded FRANKENSTEIN syndrome. We all altered in a major way. I certainly can have a boat load of fun with anyone, but I'll never participate in the same way when it comes to gorging or dining. When you watch people downing drinks and devouring food and you realize that you're no longer one of them it does kind of put you in a wierd state of mind. But not sure I would have it any other way. Wish you had saved some chili for me. Your bud.. Rob