Old habits, gaining weight.

Tina, This is your conscience. or am I just a bad nightmare. I'll call you at work tomorrow, so we can brainstorm. Are you able to make PMRI on Saturday. Maybe we can go to Panera's for lunch and do Trader Joe's? You know I love you Roomie. Elissa

Tina, Thanks for your post it makes me feel I am not alone. I am 4 mos out and the eating thing seems to be getting out of control. I am hungry now...Not sure if its physical or head. I can't tell the difference sometimes! Reaching out for help is a good sign. We all need it from time to time. My food diary use to be good....lately I have blown it off and not sure why. I try to do the memory thing which I think is the BAD thing to do. Old habit I had with WW! I am sure I am eating more than I am writing down. I am Grazing like a fool the last few days. I am not liking this feeling at all. I so want to succeed too! I hate being the FAT me. This is the time I need help. I did the program at PA Hospital and the nutrition classes leave you at 12 weeks. I believe the early stages it is good to have their help but in my case I need it now. I need someone to look over what I have done, make sure the choices I have made are good ones and if they are not give me advice to what are good choices or substitutions for what I have been eating. Losing weight is really hard. Surgery or no surgery you do have to work hard to get it off! I did hear from one person that I took the easy way out to lose weight....I wi**** was the easy way. The old habits seem to be in arms reach all the time. Eating habits for me have been two protein shakes a day....one in AM and one in PM. Then I throw in veggies (1-2 oz), meats (I am getting sick of chicken) 2 oz.x 3, mashed potatoes (1-2 oz), peanut butter (Skippy) and rye bread. I guess if I cut out the carbs I might be better off but this woman cannot live off of protein alone! For a special treat this weekend, I bought SF peanut butter cups on boardwalk. Man talk about good...yummy! I had one a day for three days. I guess that was another NO NO. I am getting back to the gym this weekend. I hurt my back last weekend....I haven't done a thing because of the injury. I am sure this does not help with what I am eating. Sorry for going on and on....It really has been a bad week. Debbie

Tina- Thank you so much for the post. I have been wondering how you are doing? I am glad that you are seeking the professional and personnal help that you need. That is what we are all here for. I too am addicted to sugar. I know that once I start I can't stop. Believe me sugar just gives my that sedation feeling that I crave all the time. I know that chromium picalinate (not sure on the spelling) really helps with keeping my blood sugars even. I do from time to time have my sugar treat, but I buy it when I out of the house. I don't like to keep the sugar in my house, because that is when I get out of control. I know that if I can go a week with out it, it gets easier, but as soon as I have one bite I am a goner. You are so smart to nip this in the butt now-instead of waiting until it get way out of hand. Breakfast-Depends, but usually toast with peanut butter (it has enough sugar in it to keep my sugar cravings at bay) and jelly Snack-Cheese stick Lunch-Usually Ceasar Salad with Chicken (I get extra chicken), with real dressing Snack-This is my low time, this is when I crave the sugar the most, so I will occasionally has 2 mini reeses peanut butter cups and cheese stick or hot protein drink from the office. I love how the choc. melts with the hot. Dinner-Beef or Chicken (usually), however way I decide to cook it. I usually have a vegetable with it. Sometime I will have a hot dinner roll or baked potatoe with it. Snack-Hot Choc from the office The only fruit I have is an apple with peanut butter or banana in the morning. I try to stay away from too much natural fruit as that can set off my sugar cravings too. I can usully get enough food in that I don't have to do too many protein liquid supplements, but I do like the hot choc. For every 3 bites of protein, you can have 1 bite of vegetables. As you can see my eating is not 100% clean, but it is 80% clean most of the time and that is what I strive for. I don't have to be perfect to be wonderful. I just have to do the best that I can do for that day. Hope this helps Hugs Nicki

{{{{TINA}}}} The wonderful people before me have said it far better than I have been doing. Tina, there are so many people who want only the best for you and are here to help you help yourself, please allow them to take your hand and help lift you out of this, one small step at a time. You know you are not alone. Not in friendship nor in this battle. I think most of us struggle at some point. I think most of us have food issues of some sort, or we wouldn't have needed this surgery in the first place. I know that I for one, deal with food issues and as I said before, the only thing that is keeping me from being exactly where you say you are (eating sugar) is the simple fact that I am scared, as in "chicken" to push the threshold. Partly because of dumping issues, but mostly because of my very real fear of sugar taking over my life once again. BUT, I did get blindsided by salt (as in potato chips). As I told you, I had a serious binge and simply could not allow them in the house after that. The strangest thing about that was the fact that I really didn't like potato chips pre-op. And to quite honest, I don't even think I liked them post-op. I think it had more to do with control issues and etc. I can not allow them in my house, and that is real hard on the rest of the family, but it is just one of those things that I have to do in order not to lose control with that trigger food again. At any rate, Tina, it is hard, really hard, to get back on track, but you can do it! I believe in you and your dream!!! If it seems too daunting, then take baby steps. Every step you take will help you closer back to where you want to be. First step is to throw away that negative stuff you are saying about yourself ... Tina, you are a perfectly wonderful lady. I am, as I am sure many, many others will agree, so very blessed to know you. You are such a wonderful friend. I know you have been in terrible pain, and yet I see you coming in and posting to help calm people who are scared, pray for those that need reassurance, simply putting yourself aside to help others. Tina, that is not the work of someone who is a failure. You are a perfectly wonderful success. Okay, so you have some issues with food ... as do we all. Let us help you through this, as you help us through our trials ... let us in Tina! Believe in yourself sweetie, as much as we believe in you. Call me if/when you want to talk 24/7 I love you Tina! Tammy

Hi Tina! Thank you for your honesty and your courage. I was scheduled to have my surgery on 10/26/04 but I have postponed it until January 2005. Why? Because I tried living by the post-op diet rules now and I struggled and failed. Everyone at the PMRI meetings seems to make staying in "compliance" sound so easy. Well, I discovered for myself that it's hard - very hard. Between the things you shouldn't eat and the things you MUST eat (like all these vitamins and supplements) and all the things that cause you to need more procedures and more surgery, I'm just not ready yet. I have tried about 11 protein shakes and I hate all of them. What am I going to survive on post-op? I hate the taste of baby food and, to me, that's not improving my life. I also know many folks have to take Devrom to ease the smells of their stools and gasses. Many folks I've spoken to have chronic diarreah, aches and pains. Mentally, I'm just not ready to drink protein shakes, take handfuls of vitamins and supplements and stop eating all the things that I enjoy. I'm just not there yet. That's why I postponed my surgery. Perhaps you could take the Gastric Bypass Life Skills class at PMRI? Even though it's geared towards pre-ops, I'm sure they wouldn't mind if you attended the classes to help give you more tools and options. Good luck on finding what works for you! Be gentle with yourself! It is often feelings of failure that cause us to seek comfort in food. Be blessed! Cassandra