I suddenly have a surgery date and I'm freaking out!
OK. You folks thought I had lots of questions before! I've got 100 more now that Mistee has given me a surgery date. Since I started all of this research more than 2 years ago, I think I'd actually forgotten that eventually I would have surgery. It was almost like doing a research project for school. Well. It's real now!
I thought it would be months before I heard from Mistee. Well, I was wrong. Apparently, she likes to get you scheduled in advance. So. I'm scheduled. 
The date is October 26th. My birthday is October 17th so I decided to make the surgery my "birthday gift". All I really wanted to do was to share the good news with my family but things haven't worked out that way yet. Husband is sick (and in a bad mood) and my Mom is stressed.
I was about to burst with the news of having a date so I decided to share it with you folks because I know you can appreciate the emotional storm that's going on. 
I'm somewhere between excitement and dread. I want feel positive and confident and up-beat but I'm not there yet. If I ever doubted that I was an emotional eater, it's very clear now. Since the moment I got off the phone with Mistee, I have been eating. I'm nervous and agitated (and exercise has not helped). If I keep this up, I'll be a wreck by the time Dr. Irgau gets to me. 
I want to feel calm again - like I did before I got the phone call from Mistee. Oh well. I'm ranting. Forgive me. This will be the most radical thing ever done to my body. I've never had a broken bone or any serious illness (thank God). I hate going to the doctor's and I don't tolerate pain well. The only surgery I've ever had in my entire life was to have my tonsils out. 
OK. I'm done. Thanks for listening to me! 
The date is October 26th. My birthday is October 17th so I decided to make the surgery my "birthday gift". All I really wanted to do was to share the good news with my family but things haven't worked out that way yet. Husband is sick (and in a bad mood) and my Mom is stressed.
I was about to burst with the news of having a date so I decided to share it with you folks because I know you can appreciate the emotional storm that's going on.
I'm somewhere between excitement and dread. I want feel positive and confident and up-beat but I'm not there yet. If I ever doubted that I was an emotional eater, it's very clear now. Since the moment I got off the phone with Mistee, I have been eating. I'm nervous and agitated (and exercise has not helped). If I keep this up, I'll be a wreck by the time Dr. Irgau gets to me.
I want to feel calm again - like I did before I got the phone call from Mistee. Oh well. I'm ranting. Forgive me. This will be the most radical thing ever done to my body. I've never had a broken bone or any serious illness (thank God). I hate going to the doctor's and I don't tolerate pain well. The only surgery I've ever had in my entire life was to have my tonsils out.
OK. I'm done. Thanks for listening to me! 
Cassandra,
That is what we are all here for. Please "rant" all you need/want! 
As for the surgery date ... CONGRATULATIONS! At this point, time really flew for me. It all felt kind of surreal. As far as peace goes ... I can't give that to you, sure wish I could. But I can only tell you how I was able to obtain peace in those final days before my surgery. And that was to remind myself of why I had made the decision in the first place. I had to remind myself that I had done much research, had weighed the positives against the possible negatives and knew the consequences and had made the best possible decision possible. Then I had to rely upon my decision during my "sane" moments to pull me through those last crazy days. It also helped me to know and truly trust in the ability of my surgeon's team. I knew they were all excellent, so that made it a little easier for me. And last, but certainly not least ... I had to remind myself that ultimately I was putting my life into the Hands of my Father God, and through faith was trusting in Him to pull me through.
This is a hard time for some of us ... know that we are all here to help each other through it. Truly it does help to share with others who have been there and done that or are going through the same thing.
Take good care of yourself!!!
Hugs,
Tammy
As for the surgery date ... CONGRATULATIONS! At this point, time really flew for me. It all felt kind of surreal. As far as peace goes ... I can't give that to you, sure wish I could. But I can only tell you how I was able to obtain peace in those final days before my surgery. And that was to remind myself of why I had made the decision in the first place. I had to remind myself that I had done much research, had weighed the positives against the possible negatives and knew the consequences and had made the best possible decision possible. Then I had to rely upon my decision during my "sane" moments to pull me through those last crazy days. It also helped me to know and truly trust in the ability of my surgeon's team. I knew they were all excellent, so that made it a little easier for me. And last, but certainly not least ... I had to remind myself that ultimately I was putting my life into the Hands of my Father God, and through faith was trusting in Him to pull me through.
This is a hard time for some of us ... know that we are all here to help each other through it. Truly it does help to share with others who have been there and done that or are going through the same thing.
Take good care of yourself!!!
Hugs,
Tammy 
i was the same way!!! and i hate to tell you this but the anxiety got worse the closer to my date that i got! i knew in my heart i was doing the right thing but the "what if's" about killed me. you just have to just in yourself and believe in your decision. i'm three weeks out tomorrow and sooo far soooo good.. in fact, things are great.. off both blood pressure meds, swelling in legs and feet are gone and i'm able to walk---slowly--but i can do it.. before i couldn't shop without holding onto a shopping cart for support or pushing my grandchildren's stroller. it's been an amazing journey--one that's hard to explain to those who aren't involved in the process. well, well worth it...keep all the positive reasons that you're doing this in the front of your mind--think of all the good things to come.. that will carry you through.. good luck!
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