Loved the PMRI meeting but now I'm torn!

Hi! I've shared this before so I apologize for being redundant. Everyone seems to agree that diets don't work. However, the surgery basically requires us to follow a strict diet (low fat, high protein, etc.) if we want to keep the weight off beyond the 18-month point. Listening to everyone last night, I just keep feeling torn in half about having this surgery. It will require me to follow a strict eating plan with lots of rules (6 small meals, no drinking with meals, etc.) and I'll need to exercise 4 or more times a day. Well, if I could do those things now, I probably wouldn't need the surgery. If I'm going to go through the pain, effort and risk of surgery, I'd rather do it for a PERMANENT solution. I've only been heavy since 1994. I got married i***** to a mean guy. My wedding dress was a size 6. In 1998, I managed to lose 150 pounds by training for and running a marathon (and getting a divorce****pt the weight off for about 2 years and then the bad habits took over. If the surgery only gives me 18 months of fast weight loss, what's going to prevent me from falling back on old habits again? I am so torn up about making this decision!

You could not have read my mind any better and I have thought the same thing for the past month, I too am pre-op and I am going thru the test the researching and that is one of my main concerns. How do you set your mind to it... Teresa

I appreciate your honesty. I can only speak for myself, when I say that this surgery has been the best thing for me. BUT--this surgery is not the answer for everyone. You have to put ALOT of effort into managing your weight. The surgery is a TOOL to help you and guide you along the way. It is not a magic answer. This is why you need to research and fill yourself full of knowledge to make this life altering event. You are not only changing your anatomy, but also the way you handle food for the rest of your life. Maybe this surgery isn't for you. It is a lifestyle change. Good for you for really researching this out and asking questions. You are the one who has to live with the decision-noone else. Hope this helps- Nicki

Cassandra, I am newly post-op and like you doing my pre-op days I asked many, many questions, researched, attended support group meetings, etc....trying to find the pefect answer SHOULD I or SHOULDN'T I. That answer is one only Cassandra can answer after collecting all your information as to WLS. And it is normal feeling the way you do.....I did all the way up to my surgery day! This is a very hard decision to make and it is to one's advantage to change some of the bad eating habits/start exercising prior to surgery. This is only a TOOL and nothing in life is Permanent. Perhaps, this particluar WLS isn't for you? Have you considered different WLS options like the Lap Band? As I am sure they are teaching you in GBLS this is a total lifestyle change that will affect YOU and your FAMILY as well. The surgery is serious and one should be scared......I thought about leaving the hospital an hour before surgery I was so scared I clocked watched all the way to OR....Shelly H C on this board can tell you. I can tell you this is a job that takes focus, discipline and time management on one's part. And not everybody gain's weight back after 18 months. I have a friend in another state who has been out 4 yrs. and have gained maybe 2-5 lbs here and there BUT was able to grab hold and remove it......but with discipline, positive thoughts and good food choices she is doing well. Yes after a certain point you will have to work like everyone else to keep weight off. This is a very emotional process before and AFTER!!! I choose this surgery I was just SICK AND TIRED OF BEING FAT ALONG W/ STARTING TO HAVE A FEW MINOR HEALTH ISSUES.......And I made a vow to do the very best to change my health status. Therefore, I can have a better quality of life. I am happy I chose RNY. Good luck on your journey.

Cassandra, I thought I could do it too! I did it before with Optifast and got to a size 12 from a 28. I tried again last year and well I couldn't and I am not sure why. I could not find the discipline to stay with it. I am a person that if you do not put boundaries on me will run a muck! I think the surgery helped me with boundaries. I cannot go to sugar to get that fix! I am not missing it now and wonder why I always went there when things got bad??? I am reading labels more carefully these days. I am also being very selective of what I eat. I don't have the room to eat everything I see like before. I applaud you for your past success and perhaps you can do it again without altering your anatomy. I just knew I couldn't. I tried to tell myself I could over and over again and well I finally came clean with myself and said you know you won't! I had the surgery on 21st of June 2004 and I am down 60 lbs. Its been good and so far I have not had problems with foods I like. I always ate pretty healthy anyway....just the portion size was mega super sized! I have thought about how I will handle the hunger that will come back in 6 mos. I need to work out how I will get through it. Right now its easy. I am never hungry and I have to remind myself I am hungry. I am still kicking around a therapist. I wish I could find one closer to home. I would like to talk to someone about how to attack hunger and cues! I know some triggers and have eliminated them from my current diet. But I am sure there is more.....I wish you lots of luck on your decision. In the end you are the one that has to live with it. Being an informed consumer is the only way to go! Debbie

Debbie, Just wanted to slip in here and say ... You are doing excellent!!! Wonderful loss, wonderful attitude and your eye upon a plan of "attack" ... certainly a recipe for great success! Keep up the good work! Hugs, Tammy

Thanks Tammy, Its taking me lots and lots of discipline to stay focused. I plan on keeping that way. I did not do this surgery just to change my anatomy. I know with the anatomy change has to come attitude change. Its a tall order but I do my best to stay with it. It means a lot to me when people recognize the hard work you do with this life style change. Thanks again. Debbie

Debbie, Your very welcome!!! And yes, you are so right ... it does take discipline, a lot of hard work and complete commitment!!! While this surgery is a true blessing it is NOT a magic pill!!! Job well done my friend!!! Hugs, Tammy

Dear Cassandra, You are doing the right thing by doing alot of research. I, too, had my surgery on June 21, 2004 ane have lost about 35 pounds. One of the things I appreciated, although not everyone would agree, is the fact that it took me a year to get through all the process for this surgery. All the clearances, waiting for appointments, etc. really took me almost a year. This gave me a long time to think this life change through. I didn't even tell anyone for about 6-8 months that I was in process. (other than my husband) My adult children didn't even know. This eliminated everyone's opinion from getting in the way. I prayed diligently about it, researched everything I could get my hands on and asked tons of questions. It wasn't until I was TOTALLY settled that I began to tell my extended family. Then it was to tell them of my decision, not to ask their opinion. I didn't "go public" with it until the surgery was over and I knew that I was on the way to a great journey. This is because I relate to alot of people in a given week and wanted to keep anyone else's opinions OUT of my head. We all trust that you will make the decision that is right for Cassandra and in doing so we all on the boards will support you in whatever choice you make. And remember there is Nothing wrong with starting the Weight Loss Journey now as you said you might do. Start the shakes, start walking several times a WEEK, cut down on your portions as much as you can and most of all know that You will do the RIGHT thing for YOU. God Bless, Mamamama

I had the same thoughts... However, after this surgery you will want to exercise and eat right. The world that I now live in is a world I want to stay in. It is amazing how different things are after this surgery! I plan on doing Bike to the Bay in October. Ride my bike 75 miles.... I would have never even dreamed of this 2 years ago! Planning on having this surgery certainly does play with your emotions. I was going to cancel my surgery the night before. Thank god I didn't!!! I love my "New" life! But... the choice is yours. It is a lifetime change!!! Best Wishes to you in your journey!