How do you react????

i think it is VERY important to know all the facts you can good or bad about wls. i wanted to hear all the bad things. i studied about wls for 5 years before i had it. with all that being said.....it would drive me nuts to have people who have only read an article or heard a story of a friend of a friends surgery going wrong always telling me what i should and shouldn't do with my body. it's funny that because weightloss is the outcome of this surgery EVERYONE thinks they have a right to speak to you about it and say whatever they want. if you had a female problem and were going to have surgery for that i really dont' think people would be giving out articles about it hahaha. i think the best way to handle it the next time is to tell them that you know and understand the risks and have talked with your doctor about it(atleast i hope you have haha). i didn't tell anyone about my surgery before i had it except my mom and husband. if you tell someone about your personal medical information you open the door for them to talk about it with you.... i know it's really hard not to talk about it when you are so excited. also people are seeing wls all the time on tv. most of the people in this country are overweight so losing weight is a big topic for them also even if they don't need wls. i lived in germany for 4 years and it was almost rare to see an MO person. i stood out everywhere i went. people are desprate for an answer on how to lose weight. tell them that you know how much they care about you, but you are well informed and just need support , if facts are needed you'll ask your doctor.

And if all that doesn't work, just tell them "Shut up". You are doing something for yourself, putting yourself first, and it's not about them. We can only hope that the people we love will be supportive, but if not that's their problem and their business. If they continue to harp on it, then they're making their problem to be YOUR problem and that is just rude. My proactive advice is smile and nod. If that doesn't work then maybe the person needs a more direct approach. lol.

Thank you everyone for your kind words, just to let you know I read the article, titled Operation for Obestiy Leaves Some in Misery..... They used one woman's story she was five feet tall and weighed 258 she is now 60 years old, she had the duodenal switch, and after surgery she had respiratory failure, a heart attack, a severe infection and other problems that kept her in the hospital on a ventilator for several months. A lung specialist who examined her after she had been transferred to a larger hospital said she should never have been cleared for the surgery because she had lung disease related to her obesity. It went on to say how vitamins were essential after surgery and she was put on nothing, and how her hospital bills were over 1 million dollars. Later on in the day my friend came up to me and asked me if I read it, I told him yes, and what happened to that lady would never happen to me first of all I did research on who my surgeon is and she is one of the best, and second of all we are required to learn about nutrition and after-care and we are required to have all the pre-testing done, so there are no surprises. He just said oh ok it sounds like you know what you are talking about, and I said yes I do, please don't think I am just jumping into this I am aware of all of the risks and I am also aware of all of the risk if I don't have this surgery. Then he walked away I don't think I will have anymore trouble out of him. Thanks again Dana

Dana, Sorry to hear you are struggling with this ... it is so hard when someone whom we love and respect does not agree with our decisions and are vocal about it, whether that be in print or in words. I would suggest that you speak freely with your friend(s) and explain that you have prayed on this and you feel at peace with God about the decision. That you feel that God has His hand upon you and is guiding you in your decision (assuming that this is the case, of course). Dana, my mother was the same way, extremely vocal about me not having the surgery. I know she loves me and was concerned about me, but my mind was made up ... this was my chance for another chance at life for my sake and that of my family and this caused some friction between the two of us (BTW - since surgery, she has been a huge supporter). There are others in my family who still do not know that I h ad surgery because they are so pushy with their opinions and I was not really able to deal with it pre-op. I only told my mother because I felt she needed to know that it was me making the decision and not anyone else. I did not want her to hold my husband accountable should something happen to me. But quite honestly, there were times pre-op that I simply could not talk with her because of the negativity about it. I simply had to remove myself from the situation, change the subject and etc. Good golly girl, I really feel for you and all you are going through to get this surgery. But I want you to know that I am so very proud of you. I have seen others who have declined the surgery for much, much less ... and yet you are still determined to do what it takes. Just so you know, that determination is the same determination that will take you REAL far when you are a post-op!!! You have got what it takes to make it regardless. Know that I have been and will continue to pray for you! Hugs, Tammy

Dana, I know the feeling all to well and I haven't even had my first appointment yet.(Oct. 9th). I'm a nurse and I've told a few of my friends at work and they of course are freaking out. The nurses who have had it done are very supportive and thank goodness they have been very successful. My family and close friends are excited for me. The people who don't understand, don't have weight problems. I think they just don't realize how frustrating it is. I just say to them that I appreciate their concern but its my decision. Some of them have asked me a lot of questions, maybe it's just a lack of understanding about the procedure that makes people scared. Just remember that you are doing this for you and no one else. Keep your chin up. Kym